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Doing best that I can
May 9, 2009
10:50 pm
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breakuptorture
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September 30, 2010
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Since my last thread "breakup" I think I have done pretty well. But today feeling melancholy and cried when someone said something nice about me to me. Not sure why this happens. I feel like sometimes the guilt of what this man does to his child really effects me: calling when the baby is asleep, or calling when we are out playing after work, and never leaving a message. I can't make him do what is right by my son and I understand but it is also difficult to hear that he wants his daddy (and we call him so he can talk to his dad and he doesn't answer) or he says that he is sad because he misses his daddy. He is only 3. I know he doesn't understand and one day maybe he will gather what I already know to be true about his dad. But it hurts. I actually did volunteer work today for Legal week and had to put the child at daycare at my own expense because the dad doesn't seem to want to make time for the baby.

Oh well, I guess I was melancholy because I miss the big lug. It just overcomes me. Have been fine for the better part of the week - no crying til someone said that I was smart enough to do something. It just made me cry. Not sure why....but here I am on a Saturday night and not able to move past this relationship and this "healing" process.

May 10, 2009
12:14 am
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sunshine88
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September 24, 2010
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hi breakup, i think this is very normal. some days you don't cry. some days your tears just well down. just let it fall when it wants to. it's part of the healing process.

big hugs to you.

May 10, 2009
11:54 pm
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obrn
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September 24, 2010
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break up torture,,,

I feel your pain...I am there with you. I am sure you hurt so bad for your son. Just remember it is not your fault. Men often seem to be able to walk aware from their children. I am lonely every night too. I still cry every night. My counselor asked me the other day, what it was i loved about him. She really did not like my answers and explained to me that that was not love. Try asking yourself the same..then really look at your answer and ask yourself it that is love. Good luck

May 11, 2009
3:26 am
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sunshine88
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September 24, 2010
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hi breakup, sorry i couldn't complete your name, because i would hate to call anyone "torture" 🙂

how have you been lately? a friend of mine here suggested me to take seriously a day diary where i could log my thoughts and emotional insights every time.

on sad days, you can read back and see that you had happy days, giving you encouragement and hope. on happy days, you can read back and see that you sad days, appreciating your happiness even more.

it has helped me a lot, and if you try, perhaps it will help you too.

all the best to you.

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