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do take the call
November 8, 2004
2:00 pm
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rhema
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My ex said she will not call me ever,if she calls do I just let it go to voice mail.

November 8, 2004
2:03 pm
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SassyAlex
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rhema, do you want to speak with her? Are you not wanting any contact? Did she do something bad to you?

November 8, 2004
2:04 pm
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Anonymous
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I dont know, it depends on if you want to talk to her or not. If not then I would not take it. But I wouldnt NOT take it just to punish her.

November 8, 2004
2:07 pm
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kathygy
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I agree if you have something you need to say to her, talk to her but if not don't.

November 8, 2004
2:41 pm
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rhema
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Hi. For the past month she was getting more abusive when ever she called an would say things like she lives in fear that she would meet another guy who abuse her an take money,and I would ask her if she thought I would do that too her an she said no,or would our freinds say that about me,she said no,then I said it's going to be fine,thats when she started finding every thing that might go wrong with.2 weeks later she is talking to her of 5yrs ago who is a abusive drunk and taking his advice on us,I did not say you should not talk to him.last week she started saying you need to show me and prove to me that you love me.I said lets talk she started telling me that I am no good.the next call she abused me,I said lets take a break for a time,she then told me she will be the one to break things off an said she will not call me.I would have liked to at least talk or be friends.Is this common

November 8, 2004
3:06 pm
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SassyAlex
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rhema, how much of a history do you two have together? Is this behavior something that has been ongoing? Is this person someone you would want to pursue a long term relationship with? If so, would she be willing to get help for her issues, or do you think she is too far beyond that for things to work with you two?

November 8, 2004
3:51 pm
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chasaphatty
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Rhema,
It sounds to me that you just might be acting as someones punching bag. She says you need to prove to her that you love her, but alls you can do to prove that is be a friend and be there when she needs you, but let her know that there is a fine line between friend and punching bag. It sounds to me that you are being a friend and letting her know that your here for her and that you want to be a friend. It sounds that alot of her problems are within herself. You know what they say, you can't be happy with anyone else until your happy with yourself. She sounds alittle bit co dependent also. As for wanting to be friends with her and talk to her of course it's common, it's hard when you care about someone and want to help them, but you can't help the unwilling. All that you can do is be a friend to her, but if she calls to yell at you let her know you want to be there for her but you know you don't deserve to be treated so harshly. Good Luck and lots of hugs!

November 8, 2004
5:39 pm
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rhema
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dear sassy alex.I don't think anyone is to far beyond help,but you are right,they will want to change for themselve's yes I will be there for as a friend, she will not talk that way to me.And to all you women out there that are being abused,an told your no good,in God's eye's your priceless.One more thing is common for someone with co dependence to say goodbye and and not mean what they said, do they really want that,I could understand if abused her,put her down,raised my voice at her,swore at her,And God forbid hit her,which I have never done,and pray to God I neve do.I think she is angry at her self

November 9, 2004
1:03 pm
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kathygy
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This woman sounds like she has a lot of issues and is not capable of having a healthy STABLE relationship without a lot of help which could take a lot of time. I wouldn't trust her to be consistent or reliable. You deserve someone healthier than this who can love you in a consistent manner and treat you with repsect.

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