Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Do men feel emotions as keenly as women?
September 7, 2001
2:56 pm
Avatar
sally-anne
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I was wondering, why are men so good at not showing emotion. Do you think this is because they don't feel them as strongly as women do, or are they just very good at hiding them. So how are we 'sposed to know what they think and feel if they give nothing away?

September 7, 2001
4:43 pm
Avatar
pg lova
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am a man, and I say that we are just good at hiding them, although I do not. I simply allow my emotional side to come out when nobody is around to see it (ie if I need to cry). Then, nobody will ever know, and I don't have to keep it bottled up inside me. But, the typical man does hide emotions no matter how strongly he feels them.

September 7, 2001
4:58 pm
Avatar
pill
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Barbara Deangelis writes great books on the differences between men and women. She uses the analogy of our souls being houses with separate rooms. Men have only one room for emotion, which they visit only time to time. Women use emotion in all their rooms, so are in constant touch with their feelings.

Does this make sense?

September 7, 2001
5:13 pm
Avatar
Ladeska
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Pill - awesome analogy. Love it! Seems to be very true, but I'm not a man, so can't be totally sure about that one. *smile* Our circuits are wired differently though. Helps to know the difference and not attack the design - but learn to understand it...

The Cave Man comedian puts it into real perspective. Have never seen his act, but people say it is a riot!

September 8, 2001
1:57 am
Avatar
rckhor
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

men will hide their emotion is because they don't want to let other know that something is bothering them and it will hurt his love onehe know it.

September 9, 2001
12:07 pm
Avatar
sally-anne
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

When people you have feelings for hide their emotions, especially the way they feel about you, even though you may be standing right next to them, you feel a million miles from them.

September 10, 2001
1:49 pm
Avatar
pill
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It's true - by hiding part of yourself - your feelings, you break the connection with your loved one. Even someone right next to you might not disclose his feelings. Maybe the secret is to find another connection?

September 10, 2001
1:56 pm
Avatar
rckhor
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

i wanting if u r the women of the men that r now facing a problem will u feel sad or worry about his problem he is having or u want him to let u know wht's the problem n let him worry abt u too.

September 11, 2001
3:49 am
Avatar
proton
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am a man and I have been taught,directly and indirectly--as most men have been taught--to hide my feelings especially feelings of sadness and helplessness and grief.But I experience such feelings as women do.When I do experience these feelings,I find it difficult to express it,because I have been taught that such expression is a sign of weakness from a man.

But feelings of anger and rage(as men have been taught) do not reflect weakness so men do express such feelings.

On the other hand, women have been taught that expressing feelings such as sadness and grief is a sign of femininity and kindness.And expressing feelings such as anger and rage is a sighn of rudeness and masculinity.So,when men get angry it is ok for them to shout and break things but it is not ok for women to do so.And when women get sad it is ok for them to cry but it is not ok for men to do so.This situation ends up with men showing expressions of anger when they are sad,and women showing expressions of sadness when they are angry.

September 11, 2001
1:24 pm
Avatar
rckhor
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

yeap yeap u r right PROTON

September 11, 2001
5:45 pm
Avatar
Guest
Guests

Proton.

You said, "This situation ends up with men showing expressions of anger when they are sad,and women showing expressions of sadness when they are angry." I know what you mean and I tend to agree with your overall views.

I would like to make what I think is an important point here that directly relates to your statement above.

Most people don't seem to realise that emotional responses are pre-programmed biological and conditioned responses to perceptions of threat, or nurture.

If we perceive a threat we can either:

1. Fight, or
2. Run, or
3. Immobilize, or
4. Appease.

If we perceive nurture, unless we perceive it as manipulative, we usually respond in a way that facilitates more of the same.

Feelings are our conscious awareness of emotional arousal states, not the emotional arousal itself.

When we feel angry it is awareness of our 'fight' response. Shows of anger in the animal kingdom are 'fight' orientated ways of warning off an aggressor (a threat).

When women feel sad or cry it is their appeal to others for support. Maybe crying is a mixture of 'immobilization', 'appeasement' and a unconsciously disguised 'fight' response and a appeal for nurture.

Men don't think it is 'manly' to appeal for nurture. Yet they do in so many ways. I believe that men often seek nurture through sex!! Maybe that explains men's seemingly greater need for sex than women.

Generally speaking, men have the same emotional responses as women. However the dominant response of men to a perceived threat is usually to 'fight'. Thus, in men, the testosterone enhanced anger response in all its disguises generally predominates. Passive aggression is such a disguised fight response to a perceived threat often used by both men and women.

If you are talking about awareness of emotional arousal states, that is feelings, then I think men are more inhibited in being able to 'feel' their emotional arousals when the threat is so overwhelming as to prohibit a fight response. E.G. the break up of a relationship wherein the man is the one dumped. Usually the man will go to any lengths to head of at the pass feelings associated with the loss of nurture by alcohol, mucho behavior, promiscuous sex etc, etc. The fact that this site predominantly attracts women bears this point out. Men are far less likely to bare their souls, as women do here on this site. Exceptions always exist of course.

September 15, 2001
6:55 pm
Avatar
child
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dear,, Sally-Anne,
Most men seem to be good at hiding it. I don't think I am..
When I am angry people around me know it, my anger usually gets me in trouble. When I am sad i don't cry, but, my family tends to notice it. If i am happy i often laugh so hard that it does not make a noise. As far as any other emotions I am not sure what I do.
The only emotion i make an effort to hide are the ones that show weakness. I guess I fear being vulnerable.

September 15, 2001
9:44 pm
Avatar
sally-anne
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

But what about when men feel warmth and love for a woman. Why don't they show that or tell us they feel that way. They expect us to be psychic and "know" how they feel. Meanwhile, we then think they don't really care about us. Then the relationship just melts away.

September 18, 2001
2:37 am
Avatar
child
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

To Sally-
I can not speak for all men. But, in my current sitiuation, If i
told the girl i love how i feel i might further damage any other possabilities. In my previous love, I had difficulty expressing my feelings for her, I guess because I was not sure she felt the sameway. I fshe did not, then my heart would have been exposed for the slaughter. I believe that I was afraid of the pain, rejection would have brought me. It turned out that she rejected me anyway. That experience put me on the vurge of suicide. I survived by running away from the whole area. I had joined the military to escape that pain. The military gave me other struggles to distract me from the heartakes of love.

September 18, 2001
1:16 pm
Avatar
eve
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think that there is a huge difference between *feeling* one's feelings and *showing* one's feelings.

I used to believe that men differ from women mostly in how they *show* their feelings to the outside world, e.g. to me. But now I believe that men usually have much less training in how they *feel* their emotions. And I found out that I can relate and reach out much better to guys who are good at knowing what they *feel*, even if they don't *show* their feelings right away. Sorting through one's feelings is like a lanquage of the mind that is necessary for any kind of verbal or nonverbal communication to be sucessful.

At least to me, this feeling-thing (is this somthing like what people call *emotional intelligence*?) is very important, I work on it (and play whith it, having good fun) for myself, but then, I'm not male 🙂

September 18, 2001
7:44 pm
Avatar
sally-anne
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Child, your story is heart rending. You sound like you were deeply hurt by your experience. But us women fear rejection too. What guys must realise is that we can't take the uncertainty of whether they like us or not for too long before we start to build a wall between us to protect our own hearts. I also think that women need more reassurance than men that they are valued. This can make us clingy.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
33
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110920
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38536
Posts: 714201
Newest Members:
kevinkovalsky, izzy39, RoyFollman, kevin021, Fice1990, KyleGallegos
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer