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Do feelings really change?
November 4, 2006
10:03 pm
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blyxx
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I have to know.. does someones feelings really change, or is it an excuse to be with someone else?

Is it possible for a 16 year old girl to just suddenly decided she doesn't like me anymore randomly? Then appear to remove me from her life?

I'm just hurt and wanting answers she refuses to give me.

November 4, 2006
10:32 pm
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southgoingzax
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yes. At sixteen, it is possible. When I was sixteen, I went through three boyfriends in a matter of three weeks - one I had been seeing for over a year, we had a fight, he didn't talk to me for two weeks, so I assumed it was over. Next the transition guy, then a much cooler guy in a band, after I discovered the transition guy wasn't as cool as I first thought.

Looking back, I am sure the first boyfriend was really hurt by my behavior - but I had simply stopped thinking about him. He stopped being who I thought he was, and I wanted something else. The transition guy was just there, a body to fill the space - he made me feel desirable, so I didn't feel lonely or bad that I had just broken off a long term relationship. And the third guy, same thing - I thought he was better than the first or the second. But really, they were all the same.

Not meaning to sound harsh, blyxx, at 16 I cried my share of tears. But my point is, none of those people are in my life now, and haven't been for 11 years. You have an emormous amount of time in front of you to find the woman for you, and I have no doubt that you will, but you have to let this one go first. I really don't mean to sound old and patronizing, I know you are hurt, but realize that this is just temporary...it's a lesson we all could stand to learn, I think.

zax

November 5, 2006
11:58 pm
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lovetocrochet
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Zax is right. Sixteen is so very young and feelings, hormones, etc. can change in a flash.

Most kids that age are just trying to figure out who they are... I know I thought I had an idea of who I was then, but almost 20 years later in retrospect - my goodness I had no clue!

I know it doesn't ease the emotional pain. But just know that in all likelihood, it may not be personal. Zax is right, chances are she probably won't even be in your life a year, two years, ten years from now. I'm in touch with a whopping two people from my high school years these days.

November 6, 2006
12:25 am
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blyxx
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Actually, i'm 20. I just tend to be attracted to younger girls. Always been intimidated by girls my age to be honest.

I'm starting to talk to a few different girls now that seem to be interested, but they also are interested in other men as well. I hate that aspect of dating. They range from 19-22. I am only 20. I feel like a baby in comparison to most people. Probably why I tend to go after younger girls. Plus my parents are 4 years apart and I've always considered that to be an okay difference. It's kinda weird though, in some aspects.

November 6, 2006
12:40 am
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southgoingzax
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regardless of your age, at sixteen girls are very changeable...

And, okay, 4 years doesn't make much difference once everyone's legal...but right now, I think a girl that's eighteen would be just right for you...

Listen, girls do mature (emotionally) a lot faster than boys...the three guys I was dating when I was 16? 18, 24, and 23. Trust me, you don't want to be like those guys! You can date girls your own age - it IS intimidating at first, but I bet you would find it a lot more fulfilling, ultimately, to be with someone who has experienced the same life events you have....a girl at sixteen barely knows who she is - a girl at twenty has a much better idea. Just think about it, okay?

November 6, 2006
12:44 am
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blyxx
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i am meeting people more my age.. i just don't like how old they all look to me. they all seem to look so much less... silky smooth. just their faces don't seem to have the same tender complexion as a girl who is 16 or 17.. maybe i just like the whole idea of being almost a protector of a baby girl. i can't wait to have a daughter (ok i can wait like 10 years easily.) but older girls just seem... old. i dont know why.

i dont think of myself as looking very old. people think i'm 17-18 usually... heh.

November 6, 2006
12:47 am
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blyxx
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i'm proud of myself right now..

i'd usually look at her myspace, read her comments, etc.. just be a nosey ex boyfriend. not today. i'm not looking at it. i have 2 more hours til it's tomorrow and then i can say i've gone an entire day not looking at hers. wish me luck.

November 6, 2006
12:53 am
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southgoingzax
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oh good lord. thanks for making me feel ancient....

There will come a day when you will want a woman to be older than 16.

Good luck finishing out the day,

zax

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