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Distraught.....
November 7, 2005
11:25 am
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Coderedependent
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September 30, 2010
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It's been several months since my initial separation from my hubby. The fact of the matter is, I'm very distraught over the fact that it seems I can't take care of myself. When it comes to money, it is the worst for me. I don't have enough to go around. My health insurance stinks - what I pay a month is not equivalent to the type of medical care me and my child need. Life sucks right now it seems. I'm in a rut. I still can't do anything on my own it seems. I may have moved out and all, but I still feel unhappy. Was it my marriage at all or just me being unhappy?

I just don't know anymore...

Coderedependent

November 12, 2005
3:08 am
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Lass
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Usually happiness is an inside job. We externalzie a lot, because it's easier to blame or fix "them or that" than me.

That said, it is a very common codependent trait to fear taking care of ourselves and our ability to do it. I have this too.

No one is going to tell you what to do but you. I support you either way. I trust you to make a good decision that you will learn from or succeed with.

LL

November 12, 2005
3:33 am
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mamacinnamon
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Coder:

I did the single mom thing for several years. Yes, it does stink coz the money is so tight. Cut as many costs as you can... no lights on during the day, keep them of if not in the room at night, use 1/2 lb instead of 1 lbs hamb in the hamburger helper... stuff like that.

As for not bein able to take care of yourself. If you keep tellin yourself you cannot then you will not be able to. You say I CAN and then you do what you need to so the bills are paid, etc. If you cannot afford your bills then call the companies and set up payment arrangements etc.

As for the happiness. Look inside for that also. It's there, you just havn't found it yet. Keep lookin.

November 12, 2005
6:47 am
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mystified
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Hi, I read your thread and can totally relate. I stayed in my parents granny flat and bought new furniture,new beds, plates etc. Anyway and i was very complete and comfortable but why was everything around me in a mess. My daughter's behaviour was changing even though i tried to remain the same mother, she was even wetting the bed(3yro).

Finally, i discovered what the problem was and it's because i stepped out of that comfort zone and my hubby was still relaxing on his favourite lounge,still cooking in the same kitchen, sleeping in the same room w same bed...you see what i'm saying. It's the house your probably missing which in turn is causing alot more havoc in your life then what was intended.

I know this won't solve your financial difficulties but it takes a major load off your back to know that you wouldn't have to adjust anywhere new. Did you have to move out? Why couldn't he?. You see my hubby and i made up, so when i moved back, even though he was never home i felt suddenly relaxed n complete. Now the funny thing is i kicked him out!! My daughter and i are comfortable, and i'm never going to jepordise her security and comfort again.

Mysti

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