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Distorted Thinking
September 25, 2008
1:17 pm
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Randomwomen2
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OK I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I have very low self esteem I constantly put myself down. I know not all what I say can be true but it all feels true. How can I rule out what isn't true? Its hard cause I feel like when I try and say something good about myself that I am lying or its attached to a but..... I know that im not all bad. Other people see me as good why cant I see it? It does bother me how much I put myself down. I do it constantly in my head. To me nothing I do is ever good enough, I should be able to get more done etc.. So how can I change this with out lying to myself?

September 25, 2008
1:23 pm
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Kind of scared
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I came here for help earlier today, and perhaps I'm not the one to offer advice, but maybe you could find one thing that you KNOW you are good at--one thing you do great--and talk to yourself about that. You'll know you're not lying, and it might lead to you knowing about a second thing.

I read recently that sometimes when you have negative thoughts enter in, you have to literally tell them to hush and leave. That you quiet yourself down.

I do a lot of the same thing, I guess. I wish I had something more to offer.

September 25, 2008
1:52 pm
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truthBtold
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September 27, 2010
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RW2,

This is something I think alot of us struggle with.

KOS offers some wonderful insight.

Along those same lines. one thing, I think, is key - is to practice critical thinking.

There is a great thread I borrowed from another site I just bumped up for you entitled: "20 Questions to Challenge Negative Thinking."

Pretty good stuff, I think!

Also, kind of along the lines of "finding fault" with ourselves - I have noticed lately that I am finding alot of fault with my finacee.

(Now - grant it - this is NOT an abusive relationship at all - been there - done that - in which case it WAS healthy for me to actually find HARMFUL, ABUSIVE faults.....I just want to make that important distinction....)

Anyway, I realized that what I was doing was PROJECTING my faults unto him.

I realized that my own pattern of thinking was to always find faults with myself....what I did wrong - where I failed etc...over and over again.....

So - I decided to TRY amd work at reversing that.

Instead of automatically bereating myself as to what I did wrong, where I failed etc....I FORCED myself to think of things of what I did RIGHT amd where I SUCCEEDED - you know?

Funny thing was - that after realizing that - I had no need to want to project that unto my fiancee and naturally, I started to see the things that HE was doing right and where HE suceeded as well.

It's a work in progress - to be sure!

September 25, 2008
3:00 pm
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soofoo
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RW,
You are a mom. Try talking to yourself as you want to talk to your children, for you are also someone's child.

September 26, 2008
11:08 am
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Randomwomen2
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thank you all I will check out that thread. Last night was awful my 1 1/2 yearold is getting sick so about every hour he would wake up and cry. But todays a new day and im going to try and amke it better.

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