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Disassociated
August 28, 2001
5:48 pm
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Poet
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September 24, 2010
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Okay, so I've never entered a chat room before, so I don't know any etiquette. If I say something wrong, I don't mean to.

Anyway, so I'm having a little problem with anxiety I think. Well. Actually--I'm not even sure of that. I don't really FEEL anything much. It's like I'm disassociated from everyone in the world. I have lots of 'friends' but the only people I feel really close to are my parents. And even them I lie to occasionally (when I don't want to hurt their feelings). And to top it off, I've always been this way. I've NEVER felt very much. Even when I broke up with this guy that I dated for a year, I only cried for about five minutes. Then for months after the breakup I tried to put all this weird 'you never loved me' crap on my mom, when I was really just mad and hurt that I got dumped.

I also don't think I'm worth very much sometimes. For ex. I've been dating this guy for about six months whom I don't even like. I'm just dating him 'cause I don't want to hurt his feelings by dumping him. Shouldn't I value myself a little bit more than that?

Well--I guess that's what's mainly bugging me now. Oh, and if you're wondering--I'm not really having bad effects in my life. I've got a great job, I get to travel a lot, people generally seem to like me. I just don't know how to like 'em back--So how do I fix that?

August 28, 2001
7:16 pm
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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How were feelings demonstrated in your family? That is usually a clue to how we are, what we were taught.
Could have up some protective walls, very hard to tell, possible you haven't run into the "one" yet, thus no sweaty palms or rapid heart beats.

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