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disabled four year old
February 22, 2001
1:55 pm
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LauraS
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I really need some help. I have a four year who has been diagnosed with ADHD. That is just the beginning. About one year ago he was diagnosed with severe neurological hearing loss in both ears. He is very violent and has problems communicating. The doctor gave him 2 hearing aids and they are working very well. The other doctor put him on Adderall and Texex. Daycare is ready to kick him out. He is always hitting other children and throwing chairs. I cannot find a daycare that fits his needs. I personally am crying on a regular basis and I find myself getting very angry. I am so frustrated and I do not know how to handle him and fix his serious attitude problem. Let's just say that spanking, time outs, and taking things away do not work! I need some advice from anyone.

February 22, 2001
5:18 pm
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NESS
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yOU AND YOUR SON SOUND VERY FRUSTRATED.HAVE YOU ASKED FOR ANY SPECIAL HELP PERHAPS FROM YOUR DOCTOR OR HEALTH VISITOR?

February 22, 2001
9:29 pm
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janes
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Where do you live?

In the USA there is a law - IDEA - All states have this ...It is called special educaton.

If your child has a hearing loss there should be a preschool program fairly nearby for him.

In michigan it is called PPI - or pre Primary Impaired.

There are also programs for the deaf...called hearing imparied.

As a special ed director and a speech therapist I would cautiously say that your son is or may be experiencing some major frustrations. How is his speech?

Special Ed (don't run away-we don't institutional ANYBODY anymore) can at least get you started and give you lists of people and agencies and programs and etc etc. Some people say "I don't want my kid labeled...forget all your bad ideas about special help and find what he needs...and fast.

Language learning time is limited and he will not be as successful as he can be unless you move fast.

BY Federal law we are supposed to furnish you with lists of poss. contacts.

WE HAVE to help you and your child but you have to be the advocate for your kid and you have to become informed!!

If he hasneurological hearing loss I take it he heard little or nothing before his hearing aids.

Well...he is communicating and he isn't a happy camper.

Do you sign with him? Its a fast and easy way to start "talking" to him

Check out Micky Flodin's book Signing for children.

Your local school speech therapist can test his speech for free. Psychological testing is free through the schools, School Social Work services are free.

If you are near a major university with speech and language therapy servcices go there.

As far as the ADHD....those are okay meds. Ritalin has a bad rap...as far as I am concerned. People who never hesitate to give their kids penicillan refuse to help their children when other things are needed. (band wagon) there are pros and cons to all meds and it's an okay place to start while you learn what you need to know.

Russell Barkley is good on ADHD he's been in the field a long time.

You are going to need to be a SMART mom. No one...dr, school, you is going to solve this problem alone. You need to build a TEAM dr, teachers therapist etc.

He is NOT a bad boy. He can't hear, he has trouble focusing and may not unerstand what all the fuss is about.

Stop spanking and start talking. You need to label and talk and love and cuddle and help him learn the limits.

I would suggest counseling too. For the whole family.

Both of you CAN be very Successful in this new journey you are on!!!!

Anything else You want to know?

I'll check in again tomorrow.

February 23, 2001
9:20 pm
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Molly
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In California, my sis found out the hard way after several hundred dollars spent at the John Tracy clinic, that the school district must pay, even pre school. There are childrens advocates that can help you with this. don't suffer, don't let him suffer. I don't think it is an issue for punishment like Janes states, he is frustrated,and so are you. Its hard. don't forget to explore food alergies. That was the key to my nephews stability, so many rx, et all, they forgot about food.

February 23, 2001
10:41 pm
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kitten
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Laura,
I have to add my two cents worth. I agree with both Janes and Molly... you need help from both a doctor and the school. I would suggest that you make an appointment with a good neurologist...after all their speciality is the brain. Then I would look into some Ritalin. I went the natural route with my daughter for 9 years...painful years at best. We did all the vitamins and food supplements possible. She was violent, destructive, and very uncaring about everyone including herself. At one point she had nothing in her room but her mattress--I had taken everything from her as a punishment. Nothing seemed to matter. She would look at me and say, "so what, I don't care". If I would spank her, it was as if she didn't even feel it. In many ways she was like a child with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome...no emotions or feelings of pain,etc...very blank and yet violent. Finally, at age nine we went to see one of the best neurologists in the state...to the doctor the ADHD was so obvious, which up to this time the school would not take into consideration. She was put on meds and the difference was amazing. I'm not saying it was over night, but she became better at controlling herself. Unfortunatly, I had more of a struggle with the school. Because of the delay in programming for her needs, she is far behind. She will never catch up. The brain needs special things at certain times for proper development. So, she has speech delays and language delays. That combined with mild retardation will always keep her tied to the "Special Ed" system. At 19, she is a VERY beautiful young woman who never really had a chance. Your son does. Contact all the local agencies...get an assessment. If he tests as ADHD get in touch with your local Social Security office. Children with ADD qualify for disability benefits that can help pay for any and all medications. Work the system...it is there to help you. Oh, and try to get a copy of the Federal Guidelines that spell out your son's rights. You have caught it early...I see a lot of hope for him. I will be praying for both of you. Good luck. ps. Oh, anything with nitrates or preservatives is often not good, as well as anything with Red dye 40. Also milk isn't the greatest...too many chemicals. A clean diet does help.

February 24, 2001
9:32 am
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janes
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One additional hint...The school is not your enemy. By law they have o give your son services if he qualifies. This does not absolve any parent of their responsibility to work WITH the school for the best program FOR THE CHILD.

Your local school should have--a speech therapist, a psychologist , a school social worker, special ed teachers, and access to programs for the Hearing Impaired. All programs and services through the public school are free to students. Michigan is a birth to 26 year old state - - most states are 3 years to 21 years. This means that by law public schools must provide a free and apppropriate public education to all students in those age ranges. This includes preschool.

Under Federal law we are required to give you a copy of your prodcedural safeguards and rights EVERYTIME WE MEET WITH YOU. (this means we will singlehandedly take out a rainforest)
We are even suposed to explain them to you if you wish.

Start close to home with the elementary school nearest you. That will be your "resident district" the one you live in.....

You hopefully will get great results for free.

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