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DIDN'T KNOW WHAT EMOTIONAL ABUSE WAS
January 23, 2007
11:45 am
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nappy
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September 29, 2010
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I have been on this site for a while now and I have read many threads about being abuse. I never thought of myself being in a abuses relationship until my co-worker mention somethings about it.
She told me that I was in a emotional relatinship when I was with my ex. I didn't really think about that, that a person could have that kind of hold on you but then they could. Now I realize the feelings that I was having because I always thought that I was doing something wrong. Even my boys said to me that " someone did him(ex) wrong and he is taking it out of you." You are the closer one to him and he will continue to treat you like this only if you allow it."
Well when I finally sit down and realize what the red flags were. I felt stupid.
1.) Didn't want me around my kids (family)
2.) Always leaving when things didn't go his way.
3.) Talking to me like I was a child and he's my father.
4.) Use to leave stupid messages on my phone, saying what he couldn't say in person.
5.) Always thought that having sex was the anwers and everything was alright and then turn right back around and do it again.
6.) If I didn't do what he wanted, the relationship was always over with. THE END.
Well I glad that I had finally thought things though to realize that I was not in a healthy relationship with this person. And I glad that I finally see things because when you talking to peoples about the same things over and over again. They do get tired of listening because I realize that we do know what the problems are. We do know that this other person is not treating us right. We do know and they know that our self esteem has hit rock bottom. That is why they (the abuser) keep doing this.
I realize later that I had very low self esteem and was running in circles trying unsuccessfully to let go of this man who had a grip on me. I realize that he had become a bad habit and I could sense that this was destroying me and pulling me down.
That is when I had forge a relationship with myself and to focus on myself. I also had to get out of this notion that I was helpless without him. A MAN SHOULD NOT BE AN ADDICTION.
I had empower myself and that is why we can seek help but in truth, we already know what the problems are and we are the only ones that can fix it. Because it is not there fault, it is really ours. Because we let them hurt us in more ways then one. This is for all who has allow another person to take there power away from them. You can get it back and to stand on your own power and get yourself back. This site has really help me alot and I know for myself that I have came a long way from when I first came here. I realize that when you talk about the same problems that you have with this person to peoples that you talk to everyday, just look at there faces, because it will say, "HERE WE GO AGAIN" WITH THE SAME PROBLEMS.

January 23, 2007
10:59 pm
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chelonia mydas
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September 24, 2010
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Nappy,

Your words have such strength and power to them. I remember the first few posts I read from you when you were still on and off your ex. I am so inspired and proud of your accomplishments. You have come a long way.

You're so right that a man shouldn't be an addiction. If they are though and they are emotionally abusive it can be a hard climb out of that relationship and into something better.

Thanks for posting 🙂
Chelonia

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