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desperately seeking a life
March 31, 2001
2:21 pm
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lost angel
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September 24, 2010
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well here goes this is my first time on the web. i have started counseling myself and have had alot of different counselers. my counselor tells me i have codependency habits .there are alot of different meaning.my husband is an addict and i know not all of this is my fault but i just dont give a shit about anything anymore. i am trying to dig myself out of this situation i have gotten myself into but it is really difficult sometimes doing alot of reading and trying to figure out who i am. its difficult anybody have any ideas on different things icould try or books to read

March 31, 2001
6:53 pm
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Castle
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Hi lost angel,

My advice is to spend some time alone. Figure out what it is you like to do. That way, when you feel like getting away, you can go straight to a hobby for stress relief.

There are many books out there to help you with what you are looking for. Thomas Moore writes good books. "Care of the Soul" is supposed to be a good book. Honestly, I own it...but haven't read it yet. And yes.....it is important to make friends with yourself before you can help yourself. So concentrate on this first.

You have made the first, most important step though......seeking help for yourself. And turning to counselors/websites for advice and help. Some people can't even get that far. So, you are on the road back! Hugs.

April 1, 2001
10:57 pm
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deetee
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Hi Lost Angel. This is my first time on a computer or a web site, you wouldn't believe my journey just to get to this forum. You have already done the best thing you can do for yourself! Congratualations! You began to care about finding a way to take care of you. You truley need to begin by finding out who you are and why you allow others to bring you into their chaotic world. I suggest anything by Melody Beattie. Beyond Codependency is a great place to start. Trust me on this one. At least you'll understand why you are where you are right now in your journey to ending the madness. It's been a long one for me. And I don't regret one footstep on my path to recovery.

April 1, 2001
11:46 pm
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gingerleigh
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A fun thing to do is to develop a hobby, something that you've always wanted to do. Do you like music? Do you play any instruments? If not, you might want to learn one. Or if you feel like you have no ear, try some form of visual art, like painting or sculpture or sketching or glass blowing (I hear that those classes are SERIOUSLY cool). Creating something beautiful, whether it's music or visual art can make you feel so good about yourself. Creating beauty.

Although reading the self-help books is great (I like Pia Mellody myself), also read books about, um, stuff. If you aren't sure what to get, pick up a classic or a biography of someone who is inspiring. Reading about their lives will inspire you too.

Good luck finding yourself, you will be successful. It takes some time, and the process never ends because you keep reinventing yourself. It's a lifelong process, but it is worth it.

April 8, 2001
10:43 pm
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bomer
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hi lost angel in a way im in the same situation except my boyfriend dont drink or do drugs,i have been with him for awhile now and i have to admit that he is the only one there for me cause my family is not we only get together once a year for one hoilday.my boyfriend has help me out alot but in away i feel like he is trying to control me and when something does not go his way he puts the blame on me as usual it makes me so angry and hurt that he does this but i love him so much and he loves my children. i have friends that tell me to leave him but how do you leave a man that has been there for you through the toughs times in my life and he was the only one there for me.like one day i aked him whats wrong and he said he dont feel good so i said then why dont you go lay down for a few and he got an attitude about it so i got mad and left the room i went to lay down and 5 minutes later he comes in there and saids something so i get up and walk out of the room,sometimes i try to avoid him but it doesnt always work that way as usual.i am one confuse person that dont know where to turn if i go on the computer he thinks i am trying to find another man i dont want to go on the computer to look for another man when i can do that in person but i dont want another man at least thats what i feel i could be wrong any suggestions that would be very helpful thank you bomer.

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