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Depressed,Lonely....Why am i here?
February 21, 2005
11:05 am
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shatteredheart
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September 24, 2010
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hi everybody. This is mandy. Im so depressed, it seems like life is just a routine. I go to school...get homework...come home, do the homework than tae kwon do. I mean it just becomes blurry, almost surreal. I dont even know if its me sometimes, im rushing so much, so caught up with life. I forget everthing thats important to me, like God's purpose for me. I get so wrapped up in all this shit. I dont have alot of friends that i can keep....i dont have time to talk to them or hang out with them. so my life is pretty boring. Its lonely. I wake up everyday sit there for the last 5 minutes before school and i dont even want to move, dont want to do anything, just sleep...die maybe. I dont want to start the routine up. I've been sad since my boyfriend cut himself so he died, my 2 year old cousin Caitlyn died....even though those happened a while ago, i still feel the scars. They dont leave me, i think to myself Caitlyn would have given anything to live and experience life. But then again there was this boy at my school who hung himself a couple weeks ago, that was sad for everybody and effected so many lives of the students. I dont want my life to go to that extreme my sense of worth in life goes down to much to an unbareable limit. But i ask myself why am i here? and all that pops in my head is that i'm miserable, stressed, lonely. help me-mandy

February 21, 2005
11:38 am
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angel without wings
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Hi mandy:) I've felt the same feelings you are feeling now many many many times. Right now i'm actually going through the same thing. I'm so bored with everything i do. Nothing is exciting, nothing is fun, i don't have many friends to go do stuff with or talk on the phone with. I do the SAME thing every day. It really sucks. I was diagnosed with depression a year ago and they put me on some medicine, which really helped, but there are these thoughts that have recently been popping up in my head about death and what's the point of doing anything?? What is the point of me? A guy from my high school slit his wrists a couple weeks ago, but his dad found him before he died and took him to the hospital, so he lived. I'm having trouble with my faith - believing that God has a plan for me and everything. I think that what we need to do is change. Take control of our lives and change them. Mix it up a little bit. Don't do the same ole routine. Reach out and take a risk - try to make an effort to make new friends or try new things. I know it's hard becasue i'm in the same boat, but we'll get through it:) Just remember that you are special and there are many many things in life that are waiting for you to discover them - but they won't come find you - you have to find them. Try thinking about the future and your goals and what you want to accomplish - that will give you something to look forward to and something to work towards. Try to keep strong and do things that make you happy and that will add excitement to your life - even if it's something little, it's a start:)

February 21, 2005
3:05 pm
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shatteredheart
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thanks, that helps alot, maybe there is hope. What are the symptoms for depression?

February 21, 2005
4:53 pm
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on my way
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Sometimes there are lulls in our lives. Sometimes things don't work out and we feel like we are going no where. But in these times, it is important to try to keep in mind that there is purpose, in spite of how you feel, that waht you are going through now is preparing you for something down the road, that waht you are going through now, in a few months you will be able to say to someone on these threads, or a freind at school who comes to you asking for help...I went through that, I know what that feels like, this is what I did...and the act of that could help someone so much. It is importnat not to feel like your life is not worth anything...even though you cannot see it now...or feel it, it is worth more than you know. High school? is one of the most difficult times in one's life...but it is also the times of high school that when you are older...you look back and smile, and actually barely remember it...because you realize that it was importatn, but does not have that much effect on who you become, except for the diploma of course.

So hang in there, it all works together for good. Have faith. And if you think it is depression, talk to your parents, or a someone you trust so that you can get some help with that.

February 21, 2005
5:27 pm
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Anonymous
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We all get stuck in a rut now and again. I think it's pretty normal.

Keep your heart and mind open to new things and focus on the positive. Something wonderful will come your way!

Love,

Ren'ai

February 22, 2005
10:52 pm
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msguud
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Dear Shattered - hang in there kiddo. We are here to support you. You are grieving for a lot of things probably. I went through a terrible depression. Are you getting up and showering, taking care of your hygiene? Are you making it to school and appointments? Are you eating/sleeping? Look it up on the internet for signs of depression. I thought I was really depressed again but my counsellor says no, I am just grieving over a relationship break-up.

You need to find a good counsellor to help you. Please check out the YWCA, who have excellent counselling. Or your school counsellor. Look in the Yellow Pages. Find something to help you. At the very least, come back here and we will all listen. Take care. I feel for you.

Keep talking to us, okay?

February 22, 2005
10:54 pm
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msguud
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And here's something for you to read:

SOMEONE LOVES YOU

š At least two people in this world love you so much they would die for you

š At least 15 people in this world love you in some way

š The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you

š Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep

š You mean the world to someone

š If not for you, someone may not be living

š You are unique and special

š Someone that you don't even know exists loves you

š When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it

š When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world

š When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it. But if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it

š Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks

š Always tell someone how you feel about them. You will feel much better when they know

š If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great

Hope it helps!

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