Yeah I do feel good what makes me feel good is that C. has actually changed a little.

I put in th epart about the missionaires because it is the only thing about his paranoia that I can stand to think about. the evil emails to people at church make me cringe. But the bishop said that theere have been no evil emails for a year now. that's good.

STATE TESTING IS OOVER TODAY/

OOOH AG,
Your questions make me feel like I have a good friend out there.

My father died about 20 years ago and my mom has been going on missions every since. (it helps her to cope) in fact they were serving a couple's mission when died quite suddenly of a stroke.

It's funny about C's ex. She is a mean controlling woman but I think she and I could share some paranoia stories and have quite a conversation. She and C get along because of the children but fortunately they live in Montana. right now they are engaged in the yearly battle of when the kids come and how long they will stay. You'd think she'd be glad to get rid of them and have some time to herself but no, she wants to control when they come and how long they stay.

Yeah I have step kids and also a cat. I am embarrassed to say that sometime I act like a doting mom when I tell my family allthe cute things my cat can do.

well they have the whole visitation thing in the divorce papers only with her in Montana and us in FL, she can pretty much decide. Unless we have the thousands it takes to take her to court to enforce it.

I am staying on at my school but requesting a younger grade. i went ot the celebration of Black History month for my school last night. It reminded me why I took the job in the first place.

Hello friends,
not much going on here I am trying to keep active and busy. Today I had to go to the dr. to have a large piece of glass taken out of my foot...so much for house cleaning right. Then C. called to say that he'd forgotten his manager's note book and there was manger's meeting today. so I brought it to him.

Then for no reason at all I had a panic attack in the middle of the supermarket. I had to go home. that hasn't happened for a long time now. so I am just cleaning up corners and feeling bad right now.

good idea and a comforting one Maybe I am sorting through some emotional junk too. I mean my mind has wander over the past few years, wondering if I made the right choice to stay with C.things are good right now but they could change.

Maybe I should just continue.

I like that idea except the crows feet are already there. My secret wish in putting up the temple is that he and will be there together again someday. All though i don't think that will ever happen so it is a secret even from myself.

If you think Thomas is bad now, wait ten years.!!!!!!
I have the same problem with the step kids only when they won't do something you can't drag them around or lift them up or anything.

I took a bunch of stuff to Salvation Army today. They said they wouldn't accept books anymore. How weird is that? I hoope your theory is right and i'll be clearning emotional junk from my mind as well.

No you can't force a teenager you have to outsmart them which is difficult. Luckily I am only a 'mom' for month each summer. of course they are independent enough to stay home if they want to.

I am so stresseed about starting school again Monday. That horrible man from the state will be there and we don't know when he will pop in so all our lessons have to be perfect.

My therapists scolded me on thursday because he says I am trying to be perfect and don't let myself make mistakes. the problem is he didnt' tell me how to stop thinking this.

I accept my whole self and am grateful for and feel love toward myself.

i love it.
yeah just what I need is a therapist who critizises me. Actually he was pretty nice a funny about it he was just trying to get me to see that I need to take criticsm with a grain of salt and move on.
My therapist was trying to get me stop focusing on the criticism my principal gave me two months ago. I am still wallowing in the sadness of it.

He also said that i should look for a new job. So now I can at last say to myself I have the right to quit and find something I can be less stressed about. I am going to find an ESOL job either in public shcool or college. Good luck to me.
I am going to say that mantra every day.

English as as Second Language. My master's in teaching children who are learning english and i loved it. this year they canceled the ESOL classes at my school without telling me and now I just teach regular 4th grade. there's not much difference excpet ESOL parents support enducation and will discipline thier kids and it makes me feel special to be teaching something different.

I taught foreign grad students at U of Alabama. They came knowing English but not well enough to be TA so I tought them how to speak English.

had a funny experience today. My classroom clock had been set to the correct time and I assumed that my computer had been also. so I kept working and working and workaing and then I glanced at the classroom clock and it was 5:00. wow what a work day. but I got all my report cards. done.