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depressed--coffeehousehelpappreciated
July 5, 2009
10:27 pm
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Hepburn
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I was thinking......Would your mom be able to take care of the baby for a couple of days while you kick your h out?

July 6, 2009
12:54 pm
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innerturmoil
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hey all,,
I was being sarcastic when i said i was gonna move out 🙂

i dont think so...
NoW he is wanting to stay and try to
find a job and try to work things out,, i keep telling him,, i dont think it is gonna work out..

i Dont wanna fight in front of our son anymore,, so, he hasnt argued with me about anything in 2 days,.
he says he will stop seeing this chick,,
well --first i dont really believe u,, and even if u get a job if u are living here how long will u keep this job???
hello?
do i have stupid written on my face?
i guess he knows that i am a nice/gullable 🙂 person...

Hep--
that might be a good plan ,, my mom will be back in town today or tomorrow,,, maybe she could help me with it,, but she thinks he is 'such a good guy' but she knows he hasnt been working (at all)
idk... i think she will make it out to be my fault and say i should just be nicer to him 🙂

thanks for all your support...
-inner-

July 6, 2009
3:14 pm
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Lanigirl
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Great idea to bring your son to your Mom's. I also like having an officer present so that he can remove his things and a restraining order.

Once he's out and proves that he has a job and has gotten some type of counseling = actions speak louder than words.

Be careful and take care.

July 6, 2009
3:50 pm
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Hepburn
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Ut oh, InnerT - Sorry to hear your mother is not supportive. Maybe don't tell her EXACTLY what you're doing, only that you and h need a couple of days to work on something. That would be true right? Semantics.

Me? If someone was not going to be supportive and tried to make me feel guilty about following through on a decision that I knew was right in my heart, only because they didn't want to deal with me, and felt they had to put me down? I'd lie to them. They don't deserve the truth. Sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire.

Maybe I'm being too harsh on your mom, or is she one of those people who are just TOOOOO sweet for their (and everybody else's) own good? HA

July 6, 2009
4:29 pm
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innerturmoil
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Hep,
no,,, i dont know,, its like u know my family 🙂

I would probably have to lie 2 her,,----as long as things are going fine in our lives-me and my bro and sis (both younger than me) then she is all there,, as soon as there is any trouble,,, she runs for the hills,, sad but true :[
she is not a bad person at all,,, just ,, u know....

I got a guy comin in a few to do an estimate on a fence for the back yard-- I hope he is like the men that Camer had over to her house :)~

July 6, 2009
10:07 pm
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Hepburn
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So was he a butt-crack kinda guy? Or the "I am a lumberjack, yes I am" kinda guy?

Inquiring minds want to know......

July 7, 2009
6:51 am
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innerturmoil
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Hey,,
Hep..
u 'crack'me up! 🙂

I think he was more like the 'i take my boat on the lake or i watch nascar all weekend long' type...

just ok... :]

July 7, 2009
1:19 pm
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Hepburn
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Usually a dead give-away is if he's wearing a baseball cap......

Hey, at this point, I'd take that over someone heaving their guts out.....oops, not very sensitive of me, huh. That slipped through the filters.....

July 7, 2009
4:44 pm
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innerturmoil
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:)~

You are so good!
He DiD have a baseball cap on,,, and it was camoflage pattern too!!

-----

July 7, 2009
4:54 pm
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Hepburn
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HA!!! Too funny!

NASCAR AND the NRA! HA

July 7, 2009
4:58 pm
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Hepburn
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Next thing you'll tell me is he's from Texas.....

July 8, 2009
10:05 am
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innerturmoil
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Mornin
Hep,,
idk!....
if i get him to do my fence,,
ill ask him where he is from (originally)..

how r you this am??

July 8, 2009
12:49 pm
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Hepburn
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Hi InnerT,

My bf and I had another "Talk". Seems I do all the talking. ha He doesn't know how to express himself, so he's silent. BUT he got on the computer and started looking for places to live. So......

Not sure if you read my thread, but he's been staying with me and needs to get his own place. Long story....ha

But it's cooler here today! Woo Hoo! This heat just makes me listless and unmotivated to do anything. Well, except post on the boards all day HA.

How are you doing? Any progress with the h? Or have things settled down to a dull roar?

July 8, 2009
4:19 pm
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innerturmoil
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hey,
Hep,,
Sorry 2 hear about u and your bf...:{

yep,, things are about a dull roar 🙂

It is still around 90 here sooo, not cool ..grrr...

anyway, sorry which one was your thread,? if i did read it maybe i need to re-read it again....

i live in nc.... what part of the world are you in?
-- u probably already said somewhere--- forgive me if u did...

hope you have better times coming :}

--((hugs))

July 9, 2009
12:53 am
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Hepburn
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Hey InnerT,

My thread is the 13 yr old Ultimatum one.

I live near Los Angeles. The "Valley" to be exact. Remember that song "Valley Girl"? I'm one of the originals. Don't hold that against me ok? ha

I feel pretty sure that we both will have better times coming.....

Oh, I know you're worried about Sunshine, but I get a "hit" that she's fine. She'll turn up with "bells on". I know, I think she's a sweetheart too.......

July 9, 2009
7:23 am
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angelle1
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Baby girl, follow your heart and trust your instincts. Do what is right for you and your baby. And who says you ever have to date again? Lol

July 9, 2009
8:40 am
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innerturmoil
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Hey,,
Girrrllll,,,

i wont hold that against you if you dont hold it against me that my state is ExTrEme redneckville...;}
we are on totally opposite sides of the US....!

i think we DO have better times comin.. hopefully you can find a nice guy with LESS DrAMA...girl,,i wouldnt have put up with that for 1 month...! 🙂

I hope you are right about Sunshine..

hi angelle,, thank u too...
{{hugs}}

July 9, 2009
8:56 am
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innerturmoil
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PS:

if me and my h did not have a son together he would have BEEN gone at least a year ago,, probably before we moved...

if i had no ties,, not married with a child it would still be hard but it would be alot easier,,
idk if i make any sense,, i guess i shouldve left BEFORE we had a child---but then i wouldnt have my PREciouS angel boy...
so ,, u know,, sometimes something good comes out of a bad situation...

my H is just now realizing and taking responsibility for his part in things,,,
after i started filing the papers for divorce,, he is starting to act right,, that doesnt mean that i have decided anything either way..
im just saying that i want him to get a job either way,, i need to get off here so he can apply for some..

July 10, 2009
2:35 am
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Hepburn
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Well, that lit a fire under his ass, eh? Now comes the wait and see part. BUT (and there's that "but" part) what about the "other woman" issue?

To be honest, I don't know if being wishy washy is very wise. THAT'S what got me in MY hole. Know what I mean? But I have no regrets.....about anything.

July 10, 2009
11:15 am
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innerturmoil
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hey Hep

i know what u are saying about the 'wishy washy' thing,, Isnt that
one of the things about us CoDies?? lol

Let's see,, he wrote her an email and told her he wouldnt know anything for at least a few days 🙂
and she tried to get on there and message him and he wouldnt even talk to her.. he is serious about not talking 2 her until we've come to a decision,, idk if he DID do anything besides kissing her,, maybe not..

but the main only reason why i am wishy washy is cause he IS the father of my son and i dont want him to have 2 live on the streets :)..
and I do still care for him ,, and when i read how children (esp younger children) need a STAbLe home environment with Both parents...

also, since i started the papers,, we have not faught at ALL in front of him.. we'll see how long that lasts 🙂
---we both need some serious counseling apart and together still..
esp IFFF we are gonna try 2 stay together,, but,,, i dont WANT to stay together Just for my son ,, but i feel like i am being selfish if we split up and dont try,, cause i know my son loves his daddy..

i love him to.. (when he is acting right, like the person i married)

idk... im still in turmoil.. our house is still in turmoil from moving (9 months ago),,
my b'day is coming up....
Im gonna be 35...grrrr..
but i feel like i dont wanna waste more years being unhappy with him and wish i would have got divorced years ago,,,,

I just am sooo messseeed up.. on the 4th of july i was ready to kick him out, place to go or no place to go....
but now,, , he seems to genuinely get where i have been coming from..

sorry this is sooo long,, mainly just thinking outloud 'so to speak'

maybe i should just do a private diary on my pc...
i just dont know,, i do like other people's opinions,,

He has gone to visit his mom (and dad) today...
I feel like Deep Down he really is one of the 'good guys'..
i wouldnt have married him otherwise 🙂

I think we both have made ALoT of mistakse and i wanna do what's right for our 2 yr old son.. that is all........

July 10, 2009
2:05 pm
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Hepburn
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Morning InnerT,

Well it's probably afternoon where you are.

Hey, that's what these boards are for. "speaking out loud". ha I do it all the time. Sometimes I get blasted for it, but that doesn't bother me anymore. I'm taking the "veterans" advice, so I take what I want and leave the rest.

I hear ya! Of course you have to do what you think is best for your son AND yourself. I believe everyone, no matter what they've done (including my bf's x, HA) have redeeming qualities, otherwise we wouldn't have hooked up with them in the first place.

It's interesting, after I got divorced from my xh, people had all kinds of things to say about him. Negative things. I didn't like that. I mean, *I* was allowed to say stuff about him, but I didn't like it when other people said stuff. It made me feel like they were actually putting me down, because *I* choose him. Know what I mean?

Trying to work things out I think is step one. AND the counseling is a great idea. I think just having a "plan" is one of the most important things a person can do for themselves.

I hope you'll keep posting, cause we all might learn a thing or two!

July 10, 2009
5:19 pm
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innerturmoil
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Hey
Hep,,
it is 5:15 pm here... 😉

i always like what you have to say!

i MADE an appt with a therapist (kinda near) where i live,,,
she works with CoDep..
i hope i like her,, it is not for another week and a half.. but that is good.. ill get time to get ready for it...

o yea,, i made the appt this afternoon and then--- at almost 5 pm (on friday nontheless) i get a call from my bank....
my loan ive been waiting ---since april-- is gonna finally go thru...
she said she's gonna start it at least....
ive been waitin to refinance and pay off all my credit cards to one payment...

Is that coincidence?? ,,, :-}
idk..

anyway how are you today,, did he find a place yet,? what's goin on?

July 10, 2009
6:42 pm
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Lanigirl
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Inner,

Please keep posting. I learn so much from you and all the people that post here. I know the answers are staring us in the face but like you said, your son is a big factor and that makes the choice trickier.

July 11, 2009
8:03 am
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innerturmoil
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hey
Lani, and Hep..
thanks 🙂
I was meanin 'that is all' not that i was leavin this site, but that the most important thing to me is my child and what IS best for him,,

but Hep made a good point i need to do what is best for me too---My son Does make it MUCH trickier..

I NEED a VacaTion,,,, by myself!

July 11, 2009
9:25 pm
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innerturmoil
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WOULD'YA LOOK AT THAT?? His Phone iS HEre but HE is NoT.....
it is SAT night,,
i put our son 2 bed at 8:00
He said he might ride 2 the gas station (which is half a mile down the road) to get some cigarettes,,,
lets see... ive been up for about 10 minutes,, we'll see ,, it only takes about 10-15 min to get there and back,,,,,,,,

I GUeSS he COuld be at the neighbor's house........ but he knows im not gonna get our son out of bed to go up there,,

I DONT care, except If HE is lying 2 me AGAIN,,,, no more MrS.. nice girL!!!!!
I WiLL fill out the DIvoRce papers,
and take them downtown MYSELF!!!

-----------I NEED A DRINK-------
or just a swift kick in the ASS

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