Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Dear precious, how are you?
June 7, 2009
12:44 pm
Avatar
suzieQ_85
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
June 19, 2009
7:22 pm
Avatar
PreciousG
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi SuzieQ,

Thank you for checking on
me. I can't tell you how comforting and heart warming it feels to know
that your friends are thinking of you and take the time to inquire
about your well being.

I am sorry that I have
taken such a long to reply. I have thought about you everyday. I been
very busy and withdrawn to tell to the truth. I have had a very
difficult time with the move.

I did however handle the
confrontation with my sister and my neighbor with great dignity and
success. I am truly proud of my hard work, progress, and success in
developing boundaries and respecting my-self.

June 10 was the second
anniversary of my Mama's death. I miss her more than ever. I can't
believe that she is gone. Today she would have been 76. I had planned
to celebrate like I did the past 2 years but I have allowed myself to
be distracted by other junk. Well, the day is young so I will just have
to snap out of this and focus on her, her life, and celebrate her as I
would have done if she were still here.
How have you been? Have
you going to therapy? Have you moved? What was the outcome of you
filing charges against your EX? Where are you in that process? DO you
have any contact with him?

OK, enough with the
questions.

I am truly sorry for not be around for so long. I know you
must have thought that I had abandoned you. I know that I said that I would be here often and I have let you down. I am sorry Suzie. Please
know that you have been in my thoughts and I have been sending you
angels everyday.

I would not blame you if you were angry and wanted to
ignore me or let me have it. I deserve it. However, know that I will
still be here for you know matter what.

I am hoping to hear from you soon.

((((SuzieQ)))))

Precious

June 19, 2009
7:23 pm
Avatar
PreciousG
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi SuzieQ,

Thank you for checking on
me. I can't tell you how comforting and heart warming it feels to know
that your friends are thinking of you and take the time to inquire
about your well being.

I am sorry that I have
taken such a long to reply. I have thought about you everyday. I been
very busy and withdrawn to tell to the truth. I have had a very
difficult time with the move.

I did however handle the
confrontation with my sister and my neighbor with great dignity and
success. I am truly proud of my hard work, progress, and success in
developing boundaries and respecting my-self.

June 10 was the second
anniversary of my Mama's death. I miss her more than ever. I can't
believe that she is gone. Today she would have been 76. I had planned
to celebrate like I did the past 2 years but I have allowed myself to
be distracted by other junk. Well, the day is young so I will just have
to snap out of this and focus on her, her life, and celebrate her as I
would have done if she were still here.
How have you been? Have
you going to therapy? Have you moved? What was the outcome of you
filing charges against your EX? Where are you in that process? DO you
have any contact with him?

OK, enough with the
questions.

I am truly sorry for not be around for so long. I know you
must have thought that I had abandoned you. I know that I said that I would be here often and I have let you down. I am sorry Suzie. Please
know that you have been in my thoughts and I have been sending you
angels everyday.

I would not blame you if you were angry and wanted to
ignore me or let me have it. I deserve it. However, know that I will
still be here for you know matter what.

I am hoping to hear from you soon.

((((SuzieQ)))))

Precious

July 5, 2009
4:44 pm
Avatar
suzieQ_85
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dear precious,

Im sorry i havent gotten back to you sooner. Now im the one apologizing πŸ˜‰

Of course i wasnt mad at you, i was just very very busy finishing up this year of my studies and other stuff.

Havent been in touch with my ex, dont miss him AT ALL. he sent me a text but i ignored it and didnt have a hard time with the no contact.

I have met a new guy but im taking this slow, just dating, but he's really sweet to me. He actually said: its time someone is treating you well. I think i might actually be falling in love, you know the careless butterfly kind of in love FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. This guy is really very intelligent, emotionally and otherwise and im just enjoying whatever comes my way right now.

also my grades went up after i left the abusive relationship, i started working out more, enjoying life more. Still i look back and think: wow he was really an asshole and he really really treated me horribly.

So now how about you! How are you doing dear precious? are you settling in your new place..how are things with your sister? are you coping with your grief about your mom? have you spoken to X or his family? tell me everything!! i hope youre allright xoxox suzie

July 5, 2009
9:52 pm
Avatar
PreciousG
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Oh My Gosh!

It is so good tp hear from you. What wonderful news you have to share.

Most importantly I am gald to hear that you have had not contact with the X. Not to mention the strength not to repsond to his test! That is awesome. Doesn't it feel so freeing and reasuring not to be bothered by when you do not hear form him or do not respond to his attempt at contact.

I am glad that you are seeing someone that is treating you well. I am more proud that you are taking things slow with him. Sometimes going from relationship to another too quickly is the most destrustive thing that we can do to ourselves.

I think that your grades improving, and you are able to concentrate on you are concrete signs that you are healing and heading toward a healthy place. That really warms my heart for you.

Well, things have been rather busy for me too. I was hear only barely 2 weeks and I met someone. I was working in my sister's yard looking all yuchy and the computer geek guy drove up. This geek was here to work on my sister's computers. Well, to make a long story short he asked me out and we went on one date.

He talked to my sister at length and said he thought that I was cute and was nervous because he had not dated for 2 years. He has been married and has has a child from another relationship that he does not see because the mother will not let him. I was skeptical at first but said, "why not?" He could turn out to be a great freind and it will get me back into the dating scene. So I talked with my counselor and she was excited and encouraged me to go. So I did. We went to diner had a nice time. We talked and laughed and made plans to go out on Sunday. He said that he would call me. Well, you guessed it I never heard from him.

So, he came over to my sister's on Wednesday to work on the computers some more. We talked and he said that he had texted me on Saturday. I said I do not have text messaging. So my sister spoke with again and he said that he was not sure what to do be cause I did not respond to his text meassage. Well, duh man why not pick up the phone and call! Anyway, before he left that evening I thought I would give him another chance and invited him to spend the 4th of July with us he accepted. He also asked for me e-mail so I gave him that. I emailed him to let him know our plans and time and what not. Well, you guessed it I didn't hear from him until late yesterday afternoon. He left the following message "hI its scaredy cat, I meant to call you earlier" What you just lost me here fella! He went on to say that his mom had called him to go to her house and would call me today to see how my forth went. You guessed it again. I have not heard from him since. Oh well, his loss.

I am done playing games Suzie. I am too old for this type of behavior. I want a guy who is confident, certain, and well educated. Besides his behavior reminds to much of my X's behavior. Yuck!

The most important part of all of this is that I didn;t takie anything that he did or didn't do persaonaly. I didn't ask myself what did I do wrong? Why wont he call me? For me this is huge. A few months ago I would have been racking my brains trying to figure out what I did or said wrong to turn him off. Not any more! I also know that if it is that he just doesn't like me and doesn't know what else to do that I wil be ok and it is still his problem not mine. Again, HUGE!

I ahve really come such a long way Suzie. I am so relieved, at peace, and encouraged by this experience. I know that I can go on a date and not die or turn into a pumpkin. I can actually have a nioce time. I also know that I am in control and that my well being, self-esteem, and my self-confidence are not determined by anyone else but ME! WHEW!!!! I CAN BREATHE AGAIN!

Now today I received an e-mail form my EX! As you know I have been talking with his Mom and Dad. I went to lunch with his parents be fore I moved. It was really nice yet difficult and sad. She left for EU at the end of May and will return to the states sometime in August. I was going to the airport to see her off but that didn't work out. We have been e-mailing weekly since she has been in EU.

Her birthday is July 10 and mine is July 17. We always try to celbrate together. Well, as you can image we have not been able to for the last couple of years or so. So we plan to celebrate when she returns. She wants me to visit and stat with her at her house when she returns. I am not really certain how I feel about staying at her house. I think it would be rather awkward. Oh and hse wants me stay with her when I go home to run in the race next Easter. How crazy is that? Anyway, back to the birthday sistuation.

I asked her for her Mother's address in EU so I could mail her birthday card. She said that it would too much trouble and would not give me the address so I let it go. WHat I did instead was e-mail my ex and ask him what he thought about mailing the card anyway and if he agreed would he plaese send me address. Well, as you may expect I didn't hear form him. So I e-mailed him again. Well, 1 week or more has passed and he e-mailed me today. He said that he asked his Mother what the best address would be and gave me his Grandmother's address.

I can't believe that he asked his Mother. It was suppossed to be a surprise. Anyway, he goes on to tell me about what is going on wit hima and writes "Sending my Mother a birthday card is very thoughtful of you, but then I have always known that thoughtfulness is one of your top qualities". He closed by says "please give evryone my best regards".

What the hell is all of that. All I asked for was an address. I did not write anything about myself nor did I ask about him. Oh he also said that he hoped all was well with me and and expressed his sorrow about the way that my sister has treated me and that he hope that I was settled in and tnhat I didn't miss home too mch. From what I can see, he is trying to bate me again. What do you think? Perhaps I am reading too much into this? I do not know. Perhaps it doesn't mean a damn thing? Perhaps I just need to run the other way?

I can't lie Suzie. It is tempting to e-mail him back. BUT on the other hand it makes me angry that he just starts talking about himself like nothing has happened or that I would even be interested! This is so insane! ARRRRRRGGGG!

Then to top that Off right after I read his e-mail I found out that my neice's dog that ran away over a month ago came home! How crazy is that? My Great-neice started balling! SHe is only 7 and was crying so hard and was so happy that her dog came home! It just amazing!

Again, I am sooooo happy to hear from you and that you are doing so well. It truly warms my heart. I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of you and the work that you have done. You are an amzing courageous woman Suzie. I am so happy that we are friends! πŸ™‚

Hope to hear from you soon,

PreciousG

((((Suzie))))

July 12, 2009
2:25 pm
Avatar
PreciousG
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dear SuzieQ,

How are you doing? How is the it going with the new guy?

Nothing new here. I am debating on whether or not to respond to my EX's e-mail.

I am going to start applying for jobs next week. I hope I find something quickly. I am so bored!

I still haven't heard from the geek. I saw him the other day standing infront of his bussiness. Oh well, easy come easy go. I wish he didn;t have to play games that is truly sad. Life is to short for all this non-sense, ya know.

I going to go for now. I hope all is well with you. Are you still going to therapy? What happened after you fieled charges against EX? I mean legally what happened?

Take care my friend. I hope to hear form you soon.

((((Suiaie)))))

PreciousG

July 12, 2009
8:41 pm
Avatar
sad sack
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 78
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Precious and Susie,

I hope you do not mind me interjecting some of my opinion here. Precious, I saw your name on the thread, so decided to read further on. I, too, was wondering how you were doing.

I think you are doing fantastically. The manner in which you dealt with the "geek" just shows how much you have grown. You said it right - it is his loss. He sounds very immature and unreliable. His lack of a reply back to you, has everything to do with the man (or child) that HE IS. But, I applaud you for putting yourself out there. You went out on date and despite its eventual outcome, it was okay. You survived. You had a pleasant enough time. The computer geek may be very shy (as I am - so I can relate). But that does not matter. THe important thing is that you took a risk and did something that was a bit out of your comfort zone. I am so glad you have a therapist who encourages you.

As far as the email from the ex, I would not read anything into it. I think you overanalyzing and overthinking his every word. From what you shared, it just seemed like an innocent little note to me. I know your heart still has not mended from your relationship with him so it is easy to understand why you would hope that he meant more by it.

Even if he did, do you want to go back there? Did he not cause you all sorts of pain? Haven't you come so far in your recovery to have it all been for naught?

I don't know your entire story so I don't understand why you are still in such close contact with his relatives. Forgive me if I am wrong, but do you possibly think it may be your way of keeping a connection to the ex? And why would you even email your ex in the first place? Is any response from him, better than nothing?

I am just throwing out these questions based on the little bit I know about your situation. Again, I am aware that there is a lot I don't know so I don't want to pass judgements. These are just some questions that popped in my head as I was reading your thread.

Whatever the case, I wish you the best. Good luck with your interviews. Oh , I loved the story about the dog that returned home after several weeks. That is such wonderful news.

(((Precious)))

sad

July 15, 2009
4:50 pm
Avatar
PreciousG
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Sad,

Thank you for responding. Please do not think that I am ignoring you. I have not been feeling well and have promised myself that I would give myself a break from thinking about all of this. So I will respond tomorrow.

I hope all is well with you.

(((sad)))

Precious

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
35
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111090
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38630
Posts: 714446
Newest Members:
lion heart, thomson, BenjaminGresham, answerhope, kenseeley, soofibeauty
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information