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Dealing with the sabotage of friends
January 29, 2008
10:04 pm
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loverbee
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January 29, 2008
10:06 pm
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loverbee
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oops. posted a lil soon. Here is what I am thinking. Every time I go out with my roommate, I ask her how I look and I ask her what I should wear and she picks something out and I say are you sure and she says yes you look awesome. And then we meet up with our other friends and they say "wow that dress is a little wrinkled, or a little short or a little underdressed" and she chimes right in. i am thinking "why the hell did you tell me I looked good then?" And I feel like she does it deliberately. I feel like crap right now and I don't know what to do.

January 29, 2008
10:09 pm
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loverbee
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could really use some input feeling very sad and kind of betrayed and ashamed.

January 29, 2008
10:19 pm
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Loralei
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I think you should stop asking for your roommate's opinion and just trust your own judgement. Your roommate may be jealous of you and giving you bad advice so she will look better than you? Who knows. But surely you've learned by now that you can't trust what she tells you. And why aren't you making these clothing decisions yourself?

January 29, 2008
10:26 pm
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Moon Dancer Deluxe
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Yeah, she's probably jealous of you and when you ask her how something looks, she innocently tells you it looks good,..... but she knows better. Either that or she just has poor judgement and is embarrassed that someone brings up the problem with something you're wearing, after she recommended your choice. Either way, doesn't sound like her advice is worth asking for. Your judgement is probably just fine.

January 29, 2008
10:27 pm
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loverbee
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I have always had bad fashion sense. Sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me because I am so retarded when it comes to picking out clothes. And its impossible to for me to tell what looks good to me. I am 5'3" with a size 0 waist, size D cupsize and I a 24 inch waist, plus my legs are shorter than my torso. I have a very difficult time. I guess I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn't doing it on purpose but tonight it became clear. I just feel Like I need someones help and no one is willing to honestly help me.

January 29, 2008
10:45 pm
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loverbee
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I have never felt this hurt or embaressed. I can't stop crying and I Feel like an idiot. I feel sad and alone and utterly heartbroken. because tonight was supposed to be my night and it ended up sucking. I am just so sad

January 29, 2008
10:56 pm
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Moon Dancer Deluxe
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It's not as much about what you're wearing as it is about your confidence. Sounds like your friends may know how you feel and are kinda being mean about it. That's just rude for someone to make a comment like that to their friend about what they're wearing, especially when they know very well that you can't go & change clothes. A good friend would be supportive and not mean and rude.

January 29, 2008
11:01 pm
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Moon Dancer Deluxe
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Don't give your power to feel good about yourself away to others. If you don't respect yourself, then others won't either. Next time somebody makes a rude remark about what you're wearing, just say " Thanks, but when I need your opinion I'll ask for it."

January 29, 2008
11:01 pm
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loverbee
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I know. I think that although they were trying to be lighthearted about it, I think some of my guy friends just don't know that that would hurt someones feelings. Its like they are retarded or something. I don't feel confident because just when I think I look great, I realize I did something wrong. Or at least thats what it seems. I just am so frustrated right now.

January 29, 2008
11:03 pm
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loverbee
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Thats the problem though. I do feel like I need their oppinions. I just feel like none of my clothes look good on me right now.

January 29, 2008
11:22 pm
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loverbee
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Any girls here willing to tell me where they shop?

January 30, 2008
6:54 am
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Codi202
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OH MY, I am going to have to come back to this thread, for sure!

January 30, 2008
6:56 am
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Codi202
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I'd stop going out with her as well, if she chose to embarass me in public like that.

January 30, 2008
8:55 am
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bonni
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((Loverbee))
Maybe you need to try on some different friends? I struggle with finding clothes that fit well and are comfortable. Most of my clothes are too big for me and I feel exposed in clothes that fit too tightly.

Here is my suggestion: clothes are made to fit the average. Take a couple of outfits that already fit you loosely and go to a seamstress and have them tailored to your body.

Watch "what not to wear" and see if you can find an episode with someone with a similar body shape.

Thats all I have for now. I'm short too (5'1") and about 15 lbs overweight. My cup size is AA. I'm pear shaped. I have childbearing hips. Its just a struggle I think for everyone, because few of us really fit the average. The few clothes I have taken to be tailored are the ones that look nice on me.

bonni

January 30, 2008
10:06 am
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nappy
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Maybe your friend is jealous of you. Have you ever thought about that. Sometimes people that are close to us can also be our worst friends.

Go to a shop and try on difference clothes so that you can see how you look. Stop asking for other opinion about you. Try on difference things to see what your style is.

There are people out there that can help you with your style of clothes.

Nappy

January 30, 2008
11:12 am
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Anonymous
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Loverbee..with a friend like that, who needs an enemy?

January 30, 2008
11:29 am
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2BHAPPY
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Hi Loverbee,

I couldnt help but respond to your post...With that kind of figure..no wonder your friend is jealous. You put on a sack of potatoes and a sash around your waist and would you look great.

You just need to create your own style no matter what anyone says..You need to feel comfortable about what you wear. Its like wearing pretty expensive high heels..if you are not comfortable you are not going to feel good or pretty. Think about the colors you like..you have a small waist and a D cup..so accentuate that. Learn to like your body and dress it up. Most of the stores have store clerks who will be glad to help you out. But start with your favorite color. Please, please dont listen to your girlfriend..and accept the fact that she is jealous of you..look at it as a compliment to you and go out there and feel confident about your looks. I dont think any one out there really cares except you, so go out and have a good time.

CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE no matter what. Smile

P.S. - I want to be 5'3, D cup and 0 waist too.

 

 

2bHappy

January 30, 2008
11:30 am
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Hepburn
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((Loverbee))

I like bonni's suggestion, you need some new friends.

But that is something you can't remedy immediately. My suggestion is to go on line and find a fashion site. There's got to be billions. Find your body type and it will show you what you could wear to hide "flaws" and enhance your figure. Then go to your favorite Dept. store and find a "nice" sales clerk who doesn't work on commission. With notes in hand, tell her what you're looking for. Plan on spending a few hours giving yourself a new look. Even if you only find a couple of items, it's worth it. And since you're there, maybe splurge on a new purse or something. I like to get samples from the make-up counters, then go home and try everything. Only problem is then my face breaks out 2 days later. ha

Your self-esteem is shot and your "friends" arn't sensitive enough to see what's going on. When I'm not comfortable with what I'm wearing, I get depressed too.

Hep

January 30, 2008
12:02 pm
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CAMER
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Loverbee, i can't say much more, but don't ask your roomate for advice anymore...and yes, she is most likely jealous.

And yes, you sound like you have a great body, features and all, and need confidence in knowing that!!!

Dress in things that YOU like, I am sure you get different size tops than bottoms and that's ok, just look thru fashion magazines on styles.

And yes, Bonni mentioned the show on
TLC (the learning channel) What Not to Wear.......I love that show, I watch it every friday nite at 9pm here in NH........and it shows how to dress the body you have.

good luck!!

January 30, 2008
12:53 pm
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DorisDay
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OH BOY..Talk about Jealousy!

Wow.

I would be flabberghasted. How dare she do that to you!

I shop at Nordstroms and Ann Taylor.

I had a "friend" very similar to yours. She was always jealous of me...and was very abusive. After 30 years, I stopped socializing with her. She has real problems!

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

January 30, 2008
6:16 pm
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MsGuided
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I'm 5'10" and not a girl anymore.
Reitman's, Marks Work Wharehouse, Thrift Stores and Winners for me ( for designer labels).

The best thing to wear is confidence!lol

January 30, 2008
6:56 pm
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Codi202
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If I wear confidence, "they" come at me like bulldogs.

January 30, 2008
7:06 pm
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loverbee
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Well, I spoke with my best friend who was there and made the comments he made and asked him why he did that if he knew I couldn't change clothes. My roommate, lets call her "P" has her flaws but overall she is a great friend. As a matter of fact this is the first time it has been this blatant. WHen I spoke to my best friend "A" he apologized profusely and said that he didn't mean to make a big deal, but he was shocked because the outfit just wasn't me. He said that "P" dresses very sluttily all the time and he knew she had picked out the outfit and he said he was mostly mad that she chose something that just wasn't me. He said that I have amazing style its just when I listen to other people that I don't look as good. He was just shocked. So I talked to "P" about how two faced she seemed and she claims that she didn't mean to do it she just didn't want "A" to think that she dressed like a whore and if she admitted that she didn't think the outfit was slutty he would think that. I told her that was retarded and from now on our friendship could only exist if she accepted who I was and we just didn't talk about fashion together. I said anything else was fine but we just couldn't talk about that. I don't think she did it to spite me, I think when she realized how slutty the outfit she picked out was she got embarressed that she has recommended it. In fact, "A" made a comment that he only commented on my outfit because it was not like me to dress like that but that I shouldn' t have been embarressed because "P"s outfit was about an inch shorter than mine. She must have realized that in commenting on my outfit he was basically telling her that she dressed like a slut. I have had to cover up certain pictures of her because her underware shows so I think as long as I am comfortable, I am ok. I should just stop trying to dress like my roommate because its a) not classy and b) not my style. I feel a little better and I am going to get some new clothes soon.

January 30, 2008
7:21 pm
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MsGuided
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Oh comon Codi! You can be a MASTIFF then! or a big ole sheep dog and sit on the short stumpy scruffer.
Who are they?Fuck them!LOL

loverbee.
I don't think I can pull off dressing
cheap, or "slutty" anymore.
It would just come off as Washed up hooker er somethin.
I'ld look like Goldie Hawn or Susan Surandon in the Banger Sisters!! Ew.;0)

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