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"Day" People VS. "Night" People...... I figured it out!!!!
October 5, 2003
4:34 am
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nattie
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I'm not sure if anyone knows my story of how I am a "Night" person and my boyfriend is a "Day" Person and how Day People JUST DON'T GET IT!!

Gingerleigh responded with this.... "I also believe that day people night people are setting themselves up for a real challenge in a relationship. I have never seen a single instance where this has worked. I work with some folks who work swing and graveyard shift in our operations center, and not a single one of them has been able to stay in a relationship once moving to an off-hours shift, except for one guy who works swing shift and his wife works the same shift on security at a local casino. I have never seen any research to support this, but I think that day people and night people have different working styles and excel in different areas. Day people tend to be able to finish 20 things in a day, moving from task to task to task. Night people pick projects that take the same amount of work as those 20 tasks the day person did, but it comes out looking like much less got accomplished. Day people and night people have difficulty appreciating the work that the other does, and without a lot of working together and really trying to see the situation from the other person's point of view, it can be a volatile and resentful relationship."

I truelly agree and have thought about this, been racking my brain for weeks and need to get this out. If anyone experiences this please post, I'd love to feel that I'm not Alone in this.

I don't want to bore you with all the details of our fights about this Topic so I'll briefly define the two and you can come up with your own conclusions of how this disagreement of two lives and the way they live it can be "volatile."

Anyway, blah blah, I'm starting to sound like Dr. Phil, right? Whom I love and is supposedly coming to talk at the Pennsylvania Convention Center on November 22nd. Hmmmm just might go!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Day Person:

Wake up: 8am - to work by" 9am

total work time: 8 hours

Home by: 5pm -

Awake time: 7 hours -

Asleep by: 12am

Total hours of Sleep = 8 hrs.

At this point he has 8 hours behind him of work and approx. 7 hours left to do what needs to be done, to be in bed by 12am and have a full 8 hours of sleep. The day person has the option if he is tired or not to do whatever responsibilites he has on his list depending on those first 8 hours of his day at work.

This is a usual routine and the persons body clock is set to these hours so on the weekends the same schedule applies, thus enabling the person to not only be on a set routine but have the proper sleep/wake hours that's needed to be healthy, alert and have energy versus night people who are depleated of this.

Night People:
If there schedule is like mine 5pm - 1am. I work Thursday - Monday. So It's like working Monday, then your off for two days then Thursday your back to work. Work Friday and then when the Day Person/Normal schedule person who works M-F, 9-5 and is off on the Weekends and can get up and "DO" alot of things, i have to go to work Saturday and Sunday then the week starts all over again.

Wake up: 12pm - to work by: 5pm

Total awake hours BEFORE WORK - 5 hours

total work time: 8 hours

Home by: 2am -

Awake time: 13 hours -

Asleep by: 4 am

Total hours of Sleep = 8 hrs.

So I've been awake for 13 hours I have 2 hours to wind down before bed sometimes it takes 4 or 5 hours making it 7AM IN THE MORNING!!!! HE's Waking up and I'm just coming to bed. SO NOW HE'S MAD, WE'RE FIGHTING AND I'M PISSED AND CONFUSED AS ALL HELL.......WELL, NO SHIT!!!

I try to tell him that he has+ 7 hours AFTER WORK TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANTS, he GETS TO DECIDE IF HE'S TOO TIRED TO DO SOMETHING OR NOT, JUST CHILL OUT AND RELAX, NIGHT PEOPLE CAN'T DO THAT!!!.

We cannot get up TOO early before work cause we're NOT sure what our day is gonna be like at work, we have to "SAVE" our energy. Work is important!! It pays the BILLS so while the Day Person is so REFRESHED after a nice 8 hours of sleep they go to work and can tackle the day, we will just end up exhausted by the middle of our work shift.

I compared what it would be like if the Day person were to have the same schedule as a Night Person, only on his Work Schedule. So if he/she wakes at 8 or 9am they would have to be awake a total of 7-8 HOURS BEFORE WORK TO COMPARE TO THE NIGHT PERSON.

That would mean them getting up at 12am & hours before work, just like a Night Person would be expected to do before he/she went to work at 5pm. So for 7 hours they would be running around, doing errands, laundry, shopping and then have to go to work by 9am, THEN work for 8 MORE HOURS THEN COME HOME AND CRASH THE HELL OUT!!!

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. So while we look like we're sleeping all day we're NOT!!! OUR SCHEDULES ARE EXACTLY THE SAME JUST AT TWO DIFFERENT TIMES ON THE CLOCK.

SPEAKING FOR MYSELF, I FIND IT VERY HARD TO WAKE UP DURING THE DAY AND DO THINGS THEN GO TO WORK. I've driven to work, taking cat naps at Red LIGHTS because He's gotten me up early to help him do stuff or just to get the hell out of bed. He calls me all morning, opens up the blinds, like he did today and while I'm catching zzzz's 3 hours here, 3 hours there he's getting pissed AT ME?

I've researched this to no end as you can tell and it freakin sucks. FYI it's 4:15AM right now. I'll fall asleep around 5am and hopefully get a full 8 hours and wake up by 1pm like usual.

BUT, Usually around 9sm He gets up, Now I'm awake for an hour or so, then I fall back to sleep then wake up from his phone call waking me up during the day to get out of BED.

THEN, If it's his day off, like today, SATURDAY he was up by 9am, tickling me, poking me, opening the curtains till 11am. Keep in mind I went to bed at 6AM!! I was up drawing, sometimes I work on my STained Glass or write Poetry. I enjoy time after work, I'm alone, it's quiet which I love so I can actually get ALOT done. I do Bills at this time too. The couple of hours before work I use to clean, do laundry, wash the dishes, vacuum or run errands. I honestly feel bad that I live this schedule and really don't know how to get him to understand it. It's just ashame that I enjoy it, he thinks I don't care if I sleep all day and just do it to piss him off, which is SO NOT TRUE. I DO IT cause it's me, who I am, what I enjoy, how I live, how I function, how I get through life!!!

Any thoughts on that bunch of banter would be shocking but very welcome. Thanks for listening.

xo
Nattie

October 5, 2003
10:43 am
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mj
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Hi Nattie,
I can hear you trying to rationalize your schedule with your mate. I think he is very disrespectful to your schedule. I personally would go ballistic from sleep deprivation if my hubby kept waking me up. I use to require naps when I was recouperating and he would bang stuff and make lots of noise.....it didn't last long. He found out quick not to interrupt my sleeping. He told me I wasn't very nice, and I told him that when you wake me up that's what you get....a not so nice, tired, angry person. No apologies just plain truth....my truth.

My step-daughter works graveyards. I never call her. I don't ever want to wake her up. I know if she needs to talk or socialize with her father and I then, she will call or show up. I think getting rest is so important to our overall health.

My son-in-law works grave yard as well. I know not to call before 10am because I also respect his need to sleep and know this is his schedule.

I see a couple of options here for you. Stand up to him, leave him, or just continue to allow him to tyrannize you. Hugs dear Nattie. I hope you are sleeping peacefully now.

October 5, 2003
1:24 pm
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Anonymous
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I think love is first of all about acceptance. If we have very serious reservations in regard to who the other person is and their personalities, then there is no acceptance. Therefore, there is something that looks like love but it's anything but love.

Love is acceptance, first and foremost. I don't see either of you accepting the other the way they are. You may be in a lust relationship, but this doesn't look like a LOVE relationship. If he can't accept you the way you are, leaving is the only option. Bitching you about who you are is an unhealthy pattern that harms both your lives. Life is too short to waste it trying to get someone to behave the way we want.

October 5, 2003
4:11 pm
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Anonymous
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When I said "leaving is the only option", I meant that when we don't like someone, we have to leave them rather than bitch them. I didn't mean that you should leave him, but that he should make up his mind, either accept you the way you are or leave, but stop attacking you.

October 6, 2003
10:17 pm
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nattie
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Thank you all for responding. I haven't been able to log or for a couple days after I wrote this and have been feeling blah, still about this whole thing!!

I stayed up till 6am on Saturday Night and promised him last night I would go to bed early and get up.

Well, it didn't work out that way. I came home from work around 2am and started fooling around with a project I have been wanting to finish. It is of a picture I had taken of a Rose in our backyard with my new Digital Camera. I dowloaded it onto my computer and altered it in Photoshop, added a poem etc...

I'm trying to build a nice collection of pieces so I can bring up my website of ART again. This seems to be the only time I do it.

I would like to wake up and be creative but have been in this patter since a teenager, staying up late that is and being alone to create, I can't break it.

Although, even though I feel as if I am being productive and working on things, even though it's late at night and it causes me to sleep all day, I still feel depressed cause I KNOW HE HATES IT.

He called me today at work to ask if I ever got up or ended up sleeping all day, AGAIN. urrrghghghg.

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