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Day Care Kids
August 14, 2001
12:48 am
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Jugg
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Is it true that kids who spent years in day care, or home alone after school, or both, well, to put simply, mess their minds up in some way? Just thought I'd throw it out there to see if anyone had any thoughts:)

August 14, 2001
3:10 am
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malaikau
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I sure hope not, because as a single parent, I have had to resort to many creative options with regard to child care for my kids. . .

August 14, 2001
10:17 am
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sue2001
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I heard a reprot the other day that kids that went to day care on a regular basis vs kids that stayed home were more aggressive. So I say. what is wrong with an aggressive kid. I say they have a greater lead than the less aggressive ones. As an adult who are the ones that are ceo's and lawyers and stars and judges the ones that went out and got it. The ones that knew from early on that if you don't get there first some one else will get it. I didn't put my first child in day care because my mother in law said that "we should raise our own children because we can't trust what some one else will teach them." well ok agreed. But what will I teach them here at the house..... I am and have never been any thing but, is the word placid? I don't have a problem with kids in day care as long as they have high quaility time at home....
My son just started kindergarten and I was really worried about him because for almost 6 years it has been me and him day in and day out....He is adjusting well but, I am afraid that he will want to stop going because of the stress of having 15-20 kids in class and having to deal with them... so day care sets them up and gets them ready to deal with the other kids.... get a good day care research it.. thank you sue

August 14, 2001
12:54 pm
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Jugg
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I'm just searching for answers now. I'm 25, doing a lot of introspection. I have some serious self esteem issues, and I'm wondering if it's becasue my parents neglected me. Hell, I'm still trying to figure out if they negelected me or not, trying to piece back my childhood. I was in day care for many years and after that, I had a few years of walking home after school to an empty house while my Mom did something, run errands, or pick up my older brother. Look, without going into a long drawn out story, I'm pretty sure that had a lot to do with it. It may have been a piece of a bigger picture. The funny thing is, I can hardly remember my childhood, even though it wasn't that far away. Repression maybe? I will say to seriously reconsider daycare. As far as the more aggressive theory, all I can say is that I am really passive and introverted. I guess I'm at that age when I blame everything on my parents:)

August 14, 2001
4:14 pm
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janes
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It sometimes boils down to the nature versus nurture thing....

There are people who are born angry, or easy going..and then the environment plays it 's part too.

I do worry about latch key kids more...

but at times I have thought it safer to leave elementary age kids home alone than teenagers....

Safety and training is the key...

and think back...

there were never times when ALL mom were ALWAYS at home....

Kids...love them raise them...whatever is best for YOU...will be okay.

They can be resiliant yet fragile...

August 14, 2001
7:22 pm
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Alena
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I think there's a difference between assertive and aggressive. Aggression is not a good thing, CEO or not.
But, I've seen aggressive kids come from both backgrounds. The thing I like about kids being home with mom is that in MOST cases, not all, mom is a great protector of these little people who have no way of conveying to us what happened to them during their day. And sometimes, when they do, nobody believes them because of their age. So, I like stay at home moms, Busy 3's groups, story hour at the library, occasional get aways from mom, social interraction at a slow consistent pace, preschool at 4, all the while your homebase is mom and dad, or mom or dad. I know not everyone cant afford this scenario. But, if it's possible, I think it's best for the child. Too many throw away kids out there, (not implying or pointing fingers here, just stating a fact) being raised by people who are just trying to put in 8 hours and get a paycheck. That scares me. Like I said, it works both ways, some stay at home parents resent it, can't take the pressure and the ho "hum"ness of
of being with a baby, toddler, preschooler, whatever..it's not easy.
I actually think it's one of, if not THE hardest job out there. Not many instant rewards. It's just my opinion, and the way I chose to go, and as soon as the youngest was in school, I went back to work on a part time basis..I think if you can afford it, you can work out a happy medium.

August 14, 2001
7:34 pm
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whatever44
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Alena --I so much agree with you.. I've been a preschool teacher for 12 years and it's heartbreaking to see these kids start at 6 weeks old in day care ... five days a week from 630am to 600pm .. Hell even I can't stand to be there all those hours... and that's the life these kids know .. get picked up go through MCDonalds and home to shower and to bed to wake up and drive thru mcdonals for breakfast monday thur friday and the weekends with the grandparents because the parents or parent is gone to Palm Springs to unwind.. Okay so I'm whew that felt good...

August 14, 2001
7:41 pm
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Alena
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Whatever...glad you feel better...you did good! 🙂

August 14, 2001
7:59 pm
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Molly
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Ultimately if the parent is the primary teacher, and the parent is abscent, and the primary teacher is now a person, who is only getting $7.50-$12.00 to teach, yours, and 10-25 others, who have been subjected to what ever, from sexual abuse, to verbal abuse, domestic abuse, as well as basic abandonment due to exhaustion, what is your child going to get out of the situation. Not to forget the high risk of disease transferance? In my own little sociological experiment close to the home front, I have observed, some what objectively, the difference between a day care kid, from the age of 6 weeks, compared to a stay at home mom, up to the age of 10, then there part time, after school, and where day care was not an issue. The day care kid, is pissed as hell, piercings tatoos, rage, dropped out of college, doing alcohol and drugs, still living at home hating it, by the way they both are 21 today, simply a rebel, with no direction,and in therapy, the other, is starting the 4th year of college, working full time, earning expenses, and is socially conforming to conserative standards, has satisfying relationships, and appears to be developing into a productive adult.
Go, figure. I believe if at alllllllll possible to stay at home with the child full time until the child is at least 7, then be sure to be home after school, to screen the emotions of the day. Its not a perfect world, we didn't know that it would be like this, but then again, I wouldn't let my kids go to public school now a days either.

August 14, 2001
8:17 pm
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Alena
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A very good young friend of our family's is a single mom with two little ones under 5. For the passed year, she's been working in a day care facility where she sends her children, works out nicely for her and them, given the fact that she absolutely has to work to make ends meet. She chose to work in the infant's rooms rather than spend the entire day with her own because she says she can still check in with her kids througout, interact with them and be right in other room , but that it's pathetic to see these brand new infants being dropped off and she just wants to hold them and nurture them all day so they'll feel secure and loved. So, so sad, for the parents who find no other alternative, and for the child. I thank God I wasn't put in any kind of daycare, and also that I was never hard up enough to put my kids in one.
But, isn't it really expensive today?
Don't I hear people say, by the time they pay for daycare, they don't take home anything?? Of course, there's always the mom who stays home and takes in 15 kids. Have one of those right next door to me and I can't count the times I've seen them all outside in any weather, watching themselves while "sitter" is busy on the phone or watching tv and needs all the kids to be out. She keeps a constant flow coming and going, they usually stay for a couple months and then they leave and she gets more. I just shudder....you're right Molly, in a perfect world....

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