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Day 11 No Contact But I Miss Him By Destinystar
October 17, 2007
10:13 pm
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_anonymous
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My Record. 11 days. He has not called or written. I have not written. But I miss him. Dont want to let him go. I dont know why. I want to visit him. But I know it would be stupid. His kid told the sheriffs that she saw her dad with bags of pot in a storage shed. They seemed to think I put her up to it but I did not. I hope what she says is true. But he knows we said something so I think that is why he isnt calling or writting. Oh well. I dont know what to do.

October 17, 2007
10:17 pm
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Anonymous
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(((Destiny)))

October 17, 2007
10:22 pm
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fantas
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(((Destiny))) Hang in there! have you read Lalas girl's thread/s? She went through the same sort of drama but she finally cut herself loose from him. I hope that day comes for you.... I am just curious, what exactly is it that you miss about this man? stay strong, day 12 is almost here 🙂

October 18, 2007
7:26 am
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CAMER
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hold strong Destiny...you can do this, and yes, it hurts, you miss him, but contacting him would just bring up old wounds.

Keep busy, tt friends, keep posting here, just don't p/u that phone and call him.

(((((((thoughts and prayers your way)))))

October 18, 2007
10:06 am
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_anonymous
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fantas- I did read LaLa girls threads. The last I read she was still dealing with him then found a job so I am not sure where she is at with her sitatuion. I am lonely without him. Have no one. Just miss him and love him

Camer- he is in jail I cannot call him there. I am not writing him. Since I told him to f off he hasnt written or called me. I feel worse each day.

October 18, 2007
10:08 am
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LOTSOFFEAR
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Destiny,
I am on 3 weeks and it is killing me not to contact him...I keep going through the whole relationship what I should have done different...

I guess my last email said it all and he has not contacted me either....
I have been going to meeting. I have so much literature....I hope I will get through this....He is taking to much space in my head....

October 18, 2007
10:46 am
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Always Unforgiven
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Destiny, I certainly understand the loneliness, It is very hard but stay strong. You CAN do this and I for one am very envious of you. I wish I was able to do what you have done. I might today as it helps being here and knowing you're NOT alone. Try to hang in there and be strong. Sending lots of huggs your way!

October 18, 2007
10:54 am
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StronginHim77
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Destiny -

The man is a CHILD ABUSER. You have firsthand knowledge of the brutalities he inflicted on his own daughter. Knowing this, how could you possibly feel any attraction for such an inhumane, criminal MONSTER? I'm sorry, but crimes against children push me over the edge. And for the life of me, I could NEVER understand how any woman could be attracted to such a hideous excuse for a human.

The attraction you have for him is unhealthy...SICK. You need to get into therapy ASAP and get help for yourself. Alot of us have encouraged you to do this on many other threads, but you have resisted the suggestion (no insurance; can't afford it, etc.). If you have money for horses, you have money for therapy. Which is more important? When are you going to want to recover badly enough to prioritize getting the professional help you need and deserve?

You may also need support medication. There is no shame or stigma in this. Many of us have needed medication, in addition to therapy, while in recovery.

Again, I urge you to stop mooning over this sick man (who sounds sociopathic to me) and GET SOME HELP.

- Ma Strong

October 18, 2007
11:02 am
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LOTSOFFEAR
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Destiny,
When it really hurts and your ready you will get help....I did....

October 18, 2007
11:10 am
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nappy
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Destinystar,

I'm trying to understand something here.
Who are you being in no contact with and who are you missing??????????

I have read difference threads on here from you and I just want to get a good understanding on who is this person that you is wanting back into your life.

Nappy

October 18, 2007
11:19 am
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CAMER
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(((destiny)) are you more upset that he hasn't called you, maybe you feel rejection???

you are in pain now, your heart is broken, most likely your lonely, and maybe you are just thinking of the good times you had, but what about all the bad & the reason behind breaking up???

October 18, 2007
11:22 am
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StronginHim77
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Nappy -

Destiny is talking about the husband she just divorced last month. He is in prison right now and probably will not be released until January. But there have been a long string of "drama" letters and calls between them, despite the divorce action and her knowledge of who and what he is.

- Ma

October 18, 2007
11:40 am
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risingfromtheashes
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Destiny,

Ma Strong is right - if you have the money to get a pony and a puppy, you can find the resources to get into therapy.

meetings are free too.

I have seen some effort (talking to pastor, the laddy from the meeting), but it seems like you may need MORE.

Missing him is normal in the sense that you are lonely. And you are missing out on the chaos and drama - which seems to be like and addiction. But withdrawl is normal.

Plus, my sense is that even tho you told him F/U - you had hope he would continue to call - he has always come back, no matter how mean you were - so maybe you were expecting him to do it again.

Him not calling IS a blessing - tho you may not see it now.

Focus on you - focus on your pony and dog if you need to - but get into some deep counseling - many will see you more than 45 minutes per week.

Hell, if you need to - check into the hospital for a week - get "detoxed" and get assigned to a good therapist....get his daughter into someone else's hands too.

Withdrawl will happen - just like detoxing - but it's necessary.

October 18, 2007
11:57 am
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nappy
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Hello Ma,

How are you doing? I haven't heard from you in a while. I hope that everything in your life is going well and I hope that you are having a bless day today (((MA)))

Destiny,

Go back and re-read your threads.
Maybe if you let go of some of these things that is keeping you attach to this man, then maybe you will be able to see clearer. I just feel that you have to much on your plate and you really need to get some of them off. You may not be able to get all of them off but the ones that is not doing you any good.

In order to stop this maddness in your mind. You do have two choices with this man. Either you want him. If you do then stop playing games and get yourself prepare to take him back when he get out of jail. You already have his daughter and then you and him and her can start over.

OR..........

You can step out of this drama and start thinking about YOU. I don't know your age but if you want the other half of your life to live and be in some kind of peace, then you have that right to seek it.

There is no doubt that you still love this man. He was a part of your life but come on now.... If you didn't change him when you were together, what make you think you are going to change him when you get back together again. Take them rose colored glasses off and start looking at the real picture here. If you truly need help, then seek it and stop adding more on your plate then you can handle.
Nappy

October 18, 2007
11:41 pm
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_anonymous
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rising- He isnt calling b/c his daughter wrote and told him there was a no contact court order unless supervised. Then his kid told his probation officer he had pot in a storage shed. Now it comes down to self preservation. Scared he will be arrested for calling and talking to his daughter. Must be worried about the pot accusations. Oh well i dont care. I had also wrote and told him I could not afford collect calls and visits. I know he is pissed about the sheriff report. I will start therapy again. When I get moved and get my insurance straightened out. I did get more counseling from the pastors wife. She told me to pray about it. And the answers will come. It did. I decided to put the kids first. I am not going to worry about him or what he is or isnt going to do.

October 18, 2007
11:49 pm
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_anonymous
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Nappy- I am 46. I want the kids. But I dont want to live with him again. He is impossible. It didnt work out before. Hes pissed right now cause his daughter is telling the police he is growing pot in a storage shed I am not sure I believe her. He's pissed cause his daughter has confronted him about his past abuse and feels sooo out of control. I havent heard from him. I dont care. He has always been an ass. Just have to take care of the kids. He will be even more pissed when I tell him that I am choosing the kids including his own over him. Oh well. He is mad cause I told him to F off and knows I am selling him out. Oh well, its how he treats me. I dont know what the future holds if it is anything like the past then I would have to say right now we have no future together. I never have and I never will accept his behavior.

By the way where did you get your nickname from? It is cute. It is how I describe my little ones hair.

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