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dating issue
April 5, 2016
4:47 pm
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relief
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Hello there,

I met this guy on the social media this last January of this year 2016. We seem to hit it off and started to communicate via the web back and forth. Within one month and half, our friendship became intense. The moment he sensed that it has become romantic, he started to pull away. I suggested to him to exchange our phone number and take it to the real world. He did not mind and we did exchange our phone number and I asked him to take the leadership of our friendship which he took with pleasure. Ever since then, he seemed to shut down and told me that he would write again when he had more time.

I respected his wish and had no contact with him for more than a month, till this weekend when I told him that we needed to meet in person to determine our mutual chemistry, attraction and compatibility. I also told him that we can write other people and remain Unexclusive because we have not yet met in person and known how much we are attracted to each other.

Why do men pull away when a relationship becomes romantic or has potential? What should a woman do when a man pulls away esp if she senses that he is the one? Additionally, Since we have so many things in common, what can a woman do to make it work?

Your thoughts and gems of wisdom.

Thank you!

April 9, 2016
7:35 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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Dear R,
I read your post and I guess I have a couple of questions for you. Firstly, did you make this friendship with the expectation that it would evolve into something romantic? Second, did this guy give you any indication that he was looking for anything other than a simple platonic friendship with you? I think sometimes we have a set idea or expectation that we might not have been honest about with another person, and then we get kind of upset when it doesn't pan out. Whatever happens with this guy and his decision to either remain a pen pal type of friend only, is really his decision. If it upsets you that he does not want to take it to another level, then you should decide what you are really looking for. Make sure that the next time you befriend another guy, that you make it clear what you are eventually looking for. Not all guys are afraid to get closer. Some might have suggested exchanging phone numbers and meeting right away. I think you just need to except that every person is looking for a certain kind of relationship. Just make sure you are honest about what you are seeking. You might have confused this guy by being platonic friends for quite a few months and he might have been looking for nothing more than that. In the back of your mind, you probably thought that the two of you would eventually meet, but he might have had no clue that you were thinking that. I hope this makes some sense.
odtwp

April 11, 2016
5:55 pm
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relief
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Thank you for your reply. This is a dating service. However, on my part I mentioned in my profile that I like to start as friends. I was simply commenting on Easter period as being the most beautiful , spiritual, and romantic time of the year. He overanalyzed this sentence by thinking that i was implying our friendship is romantic. This is where he got confused.

September 7, 2016
8:15 pm
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belinda36
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Ummm... may be he has something in his mind, may be he needs time..?

September 29, 2016
4:38 am
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ShiningLight
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February 9, 2011
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Maybe the guy isn't ready for a commitment and he's trying all means to avoid the topic being brought up. Move on and look for someone better.

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