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Dating Cops
January 10, 2006
12:30 pm
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Anonymous
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I have to ask... has anyone else here been in a relationship with a police officer?

Hugs, LOST

January 10, 2006
12:31 pm
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kathygy
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I never have. What's going on?

January 10, 2006
12:36 pm
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Anonymous
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guns SCARE me - I couldn't - I draw the line.

January 10, 2006
1:37 pm
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jewel2
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Other than being totally turned on by the uniform they're no different to anyone else so what's the story?

January 10, 2006
1:51 pm
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Anonymous
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LOL! you girls make me laugh. I was just wondering because both of my ex's were cops and I seem to be drawn to that "type" of man. I was out the other night in a very crowded place and I met a nice guy and turns out he was cop. I swore I wouldn't never put myself through that again. I have always found myself to be lonely in the relationships and feeling like there was a huge wall I couldn't break down. Why do you think we are drawn to certain personality types?

Hugs, Lost

January 10, 2006
2:01 pm
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jewel2
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My therapist once recommended a book called "Getting The Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix - fascinating read. The book suggests that we look for the same traits in partners that our prime caregivers had - both good and bad, either consciously or sub-consciously - so that we can re-live the opportunity of correcting the mistakes and bad choices that we made with them (our care givers.) "The unconscious selection process has brought together two people who can either hurt each other or heal each other depending upon their willingness to grow and change." I recognize that it sounds a bit 'out there' (and obviously I have just summerized in a few lines a 300 page book!) but I have to say when you do the exercises in the book (and I'm not talking Palates!) you will be blown away!

January 10, 2006
2:12 pm
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Anonymous
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Jewel,

I don't think it sounds far out there at all. I think it is fascinating. I think I am beginning to learn that nice guys are good and emotionally shut down men are not for me. I used to equate being nice with being weak and being cold as being strong. I have begun to spot out unhealthy people for me before I get myself wrapped up in any type of relationship with them.

I can't wait to check out the book! I was also reading a book on inner child work.I really didn't buy into the inner child work but I read "Homecoming" by John Bradshaw and did the exercises and I see a huge difference in me. It is amazing how someone just putting things in perspective can really help you move on from the past.

Hugs, Lost

January 10, 2006
2:21 pm
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dandysandy
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I don't understand why we are attracted to certain types but I would say take it slow, real slow. Become friends without intimacy FIRST. It's hard to do but I think it can be done.

January 10, 2006
2:39 pm
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Marlex
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Hi feelinglost,

Maybe you like the control they can have over you...maybe you are attracted to the power that they have over people. I am also the same way and I am trying to be attracted to other professions. Maybe your personality is very strong and you feel that only with a person of authority you can have more of a challenge.

January 10, 2006
3:02 pm
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Anonymous
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Marlex,

It's funny that you said that because I feel like certain professions attract certain personality types. For Example, I could never be a cop. On the opposite side of that coin I think why are those men attracted to women like me? Is it something I say or do, Is it a subconscious attraction. They guy that I met was very nice but I do have a boyfriend. So I started thinking today of all the people I could meet I attracted a cop and of course I was instantly attracted but maybe for the wrong reasons. I am just trying to step back and figure out why...

My current boyfriend is an engineer he was so sweet I thought there was something wrong with him! When I first met him I realized there was nothing wrong with him, it was me putting a wall up. Now, I find that happier then ever. My encounter this weekend just sparked my curiosity of, why do I feel that way? Maybe it is something to do with power or control....

Hugs, Lost

July 12, 2012
6:40 am
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missmoneypenny
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Hi Ladies!

Ive been dating a cop for a month now. Im divorced with 2 kids, he's divorced-no kids. He's sweet, affectionate and thoughtful..but he doesnt like to talk on the phone. He almost always texts. That's our primary means of communication. Im not crazy about it because its so impersonal.

He's thoughtful in some ways, but in other ways, kind of uncaring. He goes hot and cold. He complains about things often, like being bored, being tired, wanting to get off his shift and go home...

I think I like him because he reminds me of my father! My father has a lot of integrity, likes to do the right thing, is very direct with people, is fair, extremely masculine, dominant, is old school when it comes to traditional male and female roles...and he's tall!!!!
Im extremely drawn to him for those reasons, not so much because he's a cop (although I wont lie..I LOVE TO SEE HIM IN HIS UNIFORM.) He's very one dimensional and not available when I want to talk (on the phone).. Can anyone else relate? Any advice?

September 25, 2012
8:00 pm
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ShiningLight
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Maybe you need more time to get to know him well. Dating a divorced individual is quite unusual and it takes a lot of courage to be able to know what kind of person he/she is. Texting is really impersonal so try a more intimate means of communicatiion like going out on a dinner or going to a sport that you like or watching a movie together, etc. You don't need to rush things as time will reveal if you are really compatible with each other.

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