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dating: being too welcoming cost me
October 14, 2008
3:17 pm
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i was kicked to the curb by a girl i was initially not impressed by but quickly warmed up too. for the first few days she was very anxious and enthusiastic where i just followed her lead. whenever she wanted to see me i was available. it didnt take more than a week for her to tell me we are better off as friends. now that i have had time to think about it i know EXACTLY what i did wrong. i showed her too much affection and thought. bottom line i looked desperate. the crazy thing is that i felt at ease to be so affectionate cause she intiated it and it felt really good. but in hind site i should have shown some restraint and we would probably still be hanging out today. i would definitely like to see her again but i know whats done is done. ITS REALLY TOO BAD...

October 14, 2008
5:13 pm
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It No Longer Matters
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Too Bad you sound like a nice guy.

Bitsy

October 14, 2008
5:28 pm
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Giggles_29
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((((hopefull32))))~ I am sorry that it has ended. However, they say everything happens for a reason, even though we may not see it in the moment. Maybe this happened so that you can be more cautious and be more aware next time?? Just a guess. You do sound like a nice guy.

Keep your head up and know you are NOT alone !!! Keep on posting. :o)

October 14, 2008
6:48 pm
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thanks, i am a nice guys which is exactly why i am in this position. for the first few days she seemed a lil too anxious which i thought could be a red flag. in the past that was a turn off but now that i am in my 30s i decided to go with the flow and open up. unfortunately it seems like it is still all a game.

October 14, 2008
6:54 pm
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ShortCake
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Hopeful, sorry to hear this... I am in my 30's and I am having nothing but trouble meeting a nice guy. I think it all has to do with the right timing and place. Clearly she was not the one.

Stay postive and keep your focus on meeting the right girl for you. You will find her and she will be so grateful for you.

Have a wonderful evening.

Shortcake

October 14, 2008
6:55 pm
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Giggles_29
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Yea I am in my 30's also, and quite frankly dating scares me. LOL! I have a 4yr old daughter and it's not just about me!

I think once you hit your 30s you finally know what you want out of life and are not willing to settle anymore!

Just remember, good things come to those who wait. :o)

October 15, 2008
12:36 am
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marypoppins
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Hopeful,

Well, you will probably never know exactly why she "kicked you to the curb" unless she tells you. What you THINK it might have been, might not be the reason at all.

A few people on this site have written that men love the hunt and the chase and that it is the woman who should play not too easy to get.

I don't know. I've gotten involved with men before who seem REALLY into me and then they go cold. Without explanation. No matter how much I go over it, I'm just guessing without input from them.

So, in my opinion, we have to accept that some things will remain a mystery and beyond our control. We can only be ourselves, right? If we get caught up in trying to play games, we're presenting a false self.

I do agree that taking things slowly is wise and healthy, but we should also be confident enough to be our true selves and not try to control or manipulate the situation.

That's my plan anyway.

All the best to all of us out there in the dating world!

Mary

October 15, 2008
8:09 am
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CAMER
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Hopeful, as others said, you may never know the reason why this girl left, maybe she found another guy?? who knows, who cares...it may not have been you personally.....plus you didn't know her too long, and things just didn't work out, life does go on....I think deep down you know you may have been "too welcoming", so next time, take things slow, at a good pace and see where it takes you.

And yes, Hopeful, you sound like a great guy, and someday you will meet a great gal!!

October 15, 2008
10:27 am
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newme66
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Hopefull, I wish there were more like you. Just take your time and you will find true love. Who wants to play the game. I am in my 40's, and in my 30's relationships were games. I did not start the game I was a willing participant. Do not seek the women who seem to enjoy drama or have too many demands too soon. Let things flow and if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be. Be yourself do not pretend because you will have to do it the entire relationship.

Please, take your time, you are still very young and you sound awsome! It's nice to see a man posting his feelings, she was not good enough for you, as far as I am concerned!

October 15, 2008
11:27 am
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i appreciate all the responses. the reason i think the rejection is stinging a lil bit is because even though we saw each other for a short time it felt great to hold her. mainly because i bought into her excitement. no worries, im sure by the end of the week i wont give it too much thought.

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