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Damaged, where are you
December 20, 2001
12:31 pm
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Molly
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Why create the opportunity for relapse? Sure its a possibility but only if you create it. Like Nancy used to say, har har har, Just say no!
Relapse is a part of the recovery process, you have to look at the little things, like when you first started, or any one for that matter, some have 2 days, binge, then 2 weeks, binge, then 5 months binge then 11 months turns into a year, then 3 years, yada yada yada, that is why at the meetings they give chips, awards, tokens, of your achievment, you are just getting hugs from me, right now, but the tokens are symbols to help you see how long you have been celebrating, why don't you pick up energy stones or something like that for your self. Jade is a symbol of stregnth for women, rose quartz self love, read the cards on the table next to them. I heard, or saw that MADD was hiring, doing the work, helps to reinforce your efforts, its real hard to walk the walk, and talk the talk with out reaffirmation. Your doing great, and damn you know most parents don't have a clue, do all the wrong things, and here you are to help them. Put it out as choices, if your able, simply language what worked for you, and what didn't . Get on a couple of web sites, and if your serious, send away for some material. Get a teen AA program going, a group where the kids can relate, vs the grown ups group, I am sure that would be a welcome thing that would keep you busy, get to meet some people, parents and kids, its sounding like a win win situation for you. The only thing to fear is fear itself. Told you you can do anything you want to do, you are a gift, and special person, perhaps this is what you are supposed to do, makes you wanna go hmmmmmmmmmmmm doesn't it? Shine baby shine, your a super star, ugh ugh smell your hands to be sure though!!!! har har har

December 21, 2001
9:51 am
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damaged
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Molly thanks for the kind word. I raised my son with the statment you can do anything you put your mind to. I guess that can work to ways. The kids of my friends are kids that are in there twenty and thirtys, have been putting there family through hell for many years. The same night of my last post someone at AA said that you need to help antother alcoholic to stay sober. To me that was God talking to me. I have really never understood when people say God talked to them. I just knew I never heard voices. I think I might be getting it very slow but I am getting it.

On Christmas eve is my eleven months of sobriety and yes I do get my chips every month. I have lived in the same town for about seventeen years and this year will be the first time my parents will spend Christmas with me and my son in my home. I am really looking forward to it, also I am going to take them to my AA meeting with me to get my chip. Molly thanks for your words. They carry along way with me.

December 21, 2001
11:49 am
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Molly
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Lady, congratulations. Ya know those voices are out there, you just have to be open to hear them. There have been so many times I have tested it, and down to walking down the isles of home depot, turn her, look up, there it is when in a hurry, parking places, lost keys, even perhaps last night an understanding of my daughters. Something was rambeling in my ear. I hope you have the very best Christmas, and have your dreams outlined as intentions for the new year.

December 21, 2001
3:51 pm
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gypsygirl
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If you admit to hearing those voices then they say it is just halluncations. even if you deny hearing voices they still say you are hallucating. It is a lose lose situation

December 24, 2001
1:36 pm
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Molly
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Merry Christmas Damaged, hope Santa brings you joy and happiness, and some good home made baked goods. Molly

December 25, 2001
9:23 am
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damaged
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Oh Molly Thank you! I wish I could only say how I am feeling inside. I actually took the time to set back and say thanks for my beautiful christmas tree this year. My parents are here to vist me the first time and I feel so much love and joy.

I also wish you a great Christmas with your family. I hope you have been a good girl so santa brings you lots of toysssss!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS Molly thanks for all your support thats been a great gift from you to me.

December 26, 2001
12:39 pm
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Molly
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It was a good Christmas, and Santa was very good to me, hope you continued on the joy, now its the new year we have to look foreward to, what resolutions are you making? I have a list and checking it twice, gonna make my plans to be naughty and nice, gotta clean up a mess, seems like that is all I have done for a couple of days besides eat, well it all stops Jan 2. har har har.

January 1, 2002
11:46 pm
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damaged
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Hi Molly I hope all is going good with you. I have been so sick, I am having a really hard time getting over this one. Someone told me today that sexually abused people have a hard time setting boundrys, is that ture? I am still working on this boundry thing with my counselor. I want to deal with this and not run from it. I haven't been seeing her much but I will start again seeing her once a week soon. My ex- is her co-worker so thats why it became a problem and now my ex is going to be getting a new job in a couple of weeks.

January 2, 2002
11:50 am
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Molly
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So, is this emotional sickness, or you got the flu bug. don't make things more difficult than they really are, we do have a way of making tangles when we don't have to. Sure its true sexual abuse victims have harder times with boundries, but all abuse victims do, heck its just darn hard. There is a cost for everything, just look at it as what do you want to pay? Have some chicken soup, it feeds the soul, and the body. Love to you and make this a good year, the ball is in your court. har har har.

January 2, 2002
6:56 pm
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damaged
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No this is the flu bug!!! Emotional I guess I am ok and I guess just ok. Yes I do feel the ball is in my court and I like to win!!! You haven't probably ever came across to many people more competitive than me. I have lost alot and I don't want to be a losser at life. I have this one co-worker that would love to see me slip and get drunk and that makes me want to stay sober even more. People out there that think I can't make it, I want to be the one to prove them other wise.

January 2, 2002
8:14 pm
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Molly
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Great start so far, nothing like success, aahhhhhhhhhhhh
The flu huh? I have managed to escape it, I had maybe a cold right after Thanksgiving, but Sybil has had two bouts of the flu, and he got the shot. Can't stay awake, and a bad stomach pain, oh well. go ahead and whine, you only get sick once and a while, play it up. Get that boy of yours to make you some soup,even the can and a microwave, short cuts ok. Teach him how to take care of a sick woman, har har har. Marriage prep 101, make us have hope for the next generation of males, talk about balls in your court, har har har, I am sorry trying to be silly.

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