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daizy's back.......
December 8, 1999
1:10 pm
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daizy
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As most of you who remember me, I'm the one who was and still is putting the pieces of a puzzle together in my in-laws family. God, it's been hard and there is still so much to uncover yet, but through all of this reading and uncovering I've come to a good understanding of this family and the disfunctional behavior. It also has helped me from being so angry towards them, and has helped me to understand why they did things and how to cope with things now.
So my next step is to do my best to get his sister help. I have a terrible gut feeling that this girl suffered more than a harsh childhood, but I fear she may have been sexualy abused. I could be very wrong, but something stirs inside of me...and the feeling won't go away. Has anyone ever dealt with or is themselves boderline personality disorder? I would really like to talk with you about it. This would really help my understand of my sis-in-law and what she goes through (and puts her children through).
I admit it's been hard not to get angry at them, but I'm doing my best to help everyone get the help they need. I was able to get my mother-in-law couseling, but now I've just got to get her to keep going often and to be totally honest and open with him....I don't think she has spilled all the beans yet. And if I had the time and space to type it in, I'd tell you of what has gone on in the past two weeks...I'll save it for another post, but lets just say it involves his sister and her being a very confused person and and one point not even wanting her children. By the way, she has been like this all her life, but something makes her lose control every year around this time....that is why I get this sneaky suspicion that something more happened to her as a child and only she knows that answer.
Anyway, someone get back to me if they know anything or dealt with themselves about boderline personality disorder.

December 9, 1999
10:59 am
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BROC
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Daizy,

Hi. Sounds like you have many balls in the air. But, it does sound like progress, even if it doens't sound "great" is being made.

I am back too. Read the Dear Cici thread. Let me know what you think when you have time.

Keep us posted on you too!

Broc

December 9, 1999
11:37 am
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Angelwings
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Daizy playing the Martyr role is very time consuming, exhausting and certainly distracts you from your own personal feelings about yourself and your own life.
I know, I used to do it.
It is a way of not having to deal with our own personal pain and problems. I dont want to offend you, but I do hope that you consider my words. IT is a codependent characteristic.

December 10, 1999
1:11 am
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daizy
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I don't know if I would consider myself co-dependant, but I'll tell you why I'm the mystery man here.
Too many secrets were kept in my husbands childhood...hell he doesn't even know his family tree. I want to know these things and learn these things so that one day when my boys are older they will know the family backround. It's funny you ask if I'm co-dependant, because my husband is the one I worry about in that field - always brushing things off, that in deed need to be confronted, changing the subject..so we don't have to get too deep with his family (although he is like his mom so we never get anywhere anyhow).
So here I sit, sometimes the bitch...cuz I'm pushing for answers and they get uncomfortable. Sometimes I'm being thanked, because I opened their eyes. Yes..it's up and down, but soon it will be over. Hell I can't change anyone or make them get counseling, but I can try to be there and help them see the light. There have been times when I know I've needed to back off and done so...then there are time when I should and don't...LOL!a
So anyway, back to the origional question - has anyone dealt with borderline personality disorder?

December 10, 1999
5:36 pm
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BROC
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Daizy,

((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Man, when it rains, it .......................

I will say a prayer for you tonight. I battle on as well.

all the love,
Broc

December 11, 1999
12:32 pm
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mnms
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hey daizy,

Don't know what to say cuz I've never been in your shoes and I don't even know what exactly a personality disorder IS. However, I think the best thing you can do for your husband is support him in whatever way you can. Try not to push him to do anything... even though it is very hard. Speaking from personal experience, you can't do anything until you are ready to do it.. even if the whole world is backing you up.
WIsh I could be of more help.

mnms

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