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cutters
October 24, 2007
9:37 pm
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netsirk
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After my abuse happened and I was not believed I started cutting and self harm. Has anyone else delt with this issue? I have been to counseling for many months and that has helped some. What has helped others deal with the cutting and then the scars and embarrassment.

October 25, 2007
3:34 pm
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emopenguin
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i started writting poetry to realease some of my feelings. it helped me stopped cutting. i used to cut all the time but i havent done it in about 2 years. im so proud. it just takes time to find your release but im sure you will just stand strong.

October 25, 2007
6:15 pm
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loverbee
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I used to cut but I quit about eight years ago. I mostly quit because a suicide attempt landed me in a therapeutic boarding school but I totally understand the release part. Its hard to deal with pain especially when it becomes overwhelming.

October 25, 2007
7:49 pm
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water_lily
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netsirk

i have a friend who lifts weights or does
some cooking whenever he has thoughts of harming himself.

i do a lot of journaling to help with my emotions. reading what i write helps me understand what i'm feeling. i also take walks to get myself out of the house.

don't worry about what other people might be thinking. just concentrate on what
makes you feel good about yourself.

October 29, 2007
8:53 pm
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alien
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Is cutting a terrible thing to do if it is not done in a life threatening way? In a crisis, to help deal with dark thoughts? Instead of acting on dark thoughts, or doing drugs or drinking? I can't think straight, can't tolerate my mind. Please help.

October 29, 2007
9:27 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Alien, I just happened on this thread because I used to try to help someone with this issue. I don't know a lot about it, just some, but I would not advise it because apparantly like anything else it also becomes habit forming. And I do understand that you are dealing with a few things all at one time and I know that has to be very difficult to say the least. The person I tried to help wrote a lot and I tried to encourage that because I really felt that might get one over the real tough times. I hope so, anyway. Love, TW

October 29, 2007
9:30 pm
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free2choose
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I will get back to this thread when I have more time to really write.

I was cut free for 2 years and cut again for the first time yesterday.

Justknow youare not alone.

It is a hard habit to break.

F2C

October 29, 2007
9:34 pm
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alien
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I can never seem to be clean and sober and not cut. It is always one or the other. I don't know what is worse? Using or cuting? I think using drugs or alcohol is worse. I have hit my head so hard against the wall many times today to avoid both. I'm freaking out man!

October 29, 2007
9:50 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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((alien))

October 29, 2007
9:50 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Alien, I wish I could be more helpful. I guess the only other thing I can think of is if you want to call someone to talk with about this. From what little I know I'm guessing it is important to get these feelings out and I'm glad you are posting about it because I think that probably takes a lot of strength and courage to do right now. Maybe the more you post about how you're feeling right now will somehow help. I surely hope so. I know I can only mention some things from what little I know and tell you that we are here for you, okay.

October 29, 2007
10:02 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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I guess there must be web sites on this also and hopefully forums maybe as I know I looked up something about this before, but you are probably already aware and I don't want to be telling you what to do as it is not for me to say. Safe Hugs to You.

October 29, 2007
10:04 pm
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alien
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My piece of crap dad died a couple months ago, i didn't go to the funeral, my crap family told me to F-off and that i was garbage...my best and pretty much only friend died 2 weeks ago, and today i got a package in the mail from my "mom" with my ADOPTION ????? records and pictures and report cards and all and any evidence of my existence...and a note from her that said "heres your shit". There! It's all out now.

October 29, 2007
10:14 pm
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Friendma
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(((((ALIEN))))) Just wanting you to know that you are not alone with the cutting. I haven't cut in several months but I'm really struggling with it now again. I have self medicated for years with alcohol, and cutting, they are both bad for you and I can only encourage you to seek help, there are counselors that understand and can help and there are medicines that can help, and there are books and self soothing and Just please be careful cause I started out cutting small and then big and then taking pills and then last year I almost killed myself not on purpose by overdosing and just like with drugs and alcohol you can get more and more addicted and trapped and worse, the same in my experience has happened with cutting. I haven't been drunk in several months and cutting free for several months. I take meds when I feel out of control.

I understand the feelings with the family abandoning you and I just want you to know that I am sendin ya lots of safe hugs and just hang on to the fact that you are not alone and there is help out there and you can overcome but it is a process and it takes time. Take care of you, I hope this helps. I take comfort in knowing that I am not alone with my issues.

October 29, 2007
10:14 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Alien, Just letting you know I read and I am sorry about all of it. I am glad you posted about it though and all I know to do or say is to hope you will keep posting about things, okay. I won't keep posting right now because I'm going to try to get some rest for now.

October 29, 2007
10:16 pm
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alien
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And anytime so much pain exists, and there are no answers....people run for the hills and avoid me, no one can take it, no one can take not knowing what to say, so they just dissapear........like what is probably going to happen here to. And i am in more pain with more shit than i have ever been in and i feel sure that i will therefore be more alone and without help than ever, thats how it goes..................................

October 29, 2007
10:20 pm
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alien
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Thanks you guys so much! It's ok TW, rest, i'll chat with you before long. I know you are there for me, friend!

October 29, 2007
10:20 pm
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Friendma
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(((((NETSIRK))))) There are counselors that can help and medicines that can help and self soothing and just know that you are not alone and you have found a way to survive and although it is not a healthy way to cope, you can reach a place that you can begin to deal with things in a more healthy way. There are lots of books, Have you been diagnosed with anything? Are you currently on any meds? I hope that it is ok to of asked these personal questions. I am sendin ya lots of safe hugs. Take care of you!

October 29, 2007
10:23 pm
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Friendma
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Alien, I do understand consuming pain and not having relief or answers. I do understand bein alone and not havin any one be there. I don't know if I can help but I am not runnin for the hills. (((ALIEN)))

October 29, 2007
10:29 pm
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alien
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Friendma, you are the best. Thanks man! I have bipolar/bpd/ptsd....not medicated now because i have been trying to heal naturally, with orthomolecular treatment. You can google it if you are unfamiliar. But my substance abuse has been screwing up my chemistry for sure. I'm just soo screwed up right now. As if i feel like i can live throgh all of this. I don't feel like i can right now. I hate meds., i am terrified of them. But i know that if i was reading this i would suggest meds...i don't know if i will cave and take them, or get high, or cut, or what right now. I do have meds here at home. I have too much in my head. Cutting would slow it down, i know that for sure....

October 29, 2007
10:33 pm
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alien
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Dude, i feel better already actually

October 29, 2007
10:35 pm
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lissy1208
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OH God, I know that your angels are watching over you are not alone. God is with you ever step of your way. He knows there is all this pain. Can you some how believe that you are going through this because of a reason bigger than yourself. God only knows why you've been through so much lately. God is right by your side. You know that when it rains it pours and after that the rainbow always comes. Your rainbows coming... When you feel like cutting tell yourself peace and be still take a deep breath and let God take over your life. I'm not religous but I do believe in God and I believe that a spirtual experience within you is the only thing that can help.
Get out, Get help, CODA meetings, therapy, exercise, do something you like, meditate, pray.....
Lots of Love Lots of Peace be still

October 29, 2007
10:39 pm
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alien
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(((lissy1208)))

You are one of my angels.....Thank you! I am calming down. I was bursting with keeping all that in.

October 29, 2007
10:51 pm
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alien
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I'm okay. Thanks everyone SO much. I had a freak attack man. I did just need to let it out. I'm going to go for a walk. (((everyone)))

October 30, 2007
11:05 am
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Friendma
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(((((ALIEN))))) Just wanted to check in with ya and see how you are doin. I hope that you are feelin better today. I have been diagnosed with bpd/ptsd/panic disorder/agoraphobia/major depression. I hate meds to and they scare me also. I have tried to go without but I have found that doesn't go well for me. I take the least amount of meds that I can and I am doin better. I take xanax for the anxiety and my times that I freak out. Alcohol just screws my system all up and I try to just stay away from it but that's always easier said than done. I just want you to know that you are not alone, I am a cutter and I understand the pain and loneliness and confusion and isolation and fear etc. I have a thread over on libs side and I talk about my struggle with cutting here recently, if it would help to read of anothers struggle with cutting maybe ya might want to check it out. I hope you can find peace and a calm in you that will help you today. I'm sendin ya lots of safe hugs! Take care of you!

October 30, 2007
2:23 pm
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netsirk
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((((Friendma)))) Thanks for writting to me. Personal questions are ok. No I have not been diagnosed with anything officially. I do not have health insurance so getting a doctor to diagnose anything would be hard. From what I have researched I seem to think that I have all the signs of borderline personality disorder. I am not on any meds other then what I can get otc like St. John's Wort.
Yesterday was ok until I talked to my mom, then I cut. I go in cycles and I just can not seem to break that cycle.

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