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Cried myself to sleep
November 8, 2005
12:20 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I have been so depressed laltely. I have been sleeping a lot and lastnight i cried myself to sleep. It seems like everyone catches on to things a lot quicker than i do. And when i talk sometimes i either say it wrong or i forget what i am talking about mid sentence and it realy makes me feel like im stupid and i dont know to feel better about myself when i know im not the brightest star in the sky.

November 8, 2005
12:24 pm
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thumkin
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Go to the doctor. Depression is a monster that will eat away at all logic if left untreated. I have worked with so many people who are depressed, I have seen it happen. With help depression can be dealt with and lifted.

November 8, 2005
12:27 pm
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addicts wife
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(((((Rw2))))
when i read your thread title I said outloud "meee toooo."
and then i read what you worte and AGAIN I said ut loud "mee toooo."
I think youre very smart, and I can so relate to forgwtting, not being able toreact in what I consider a quick wenough fashion and not having things come out right.
I am so soory you are experiencingthis, and that you criesd yourself to sleep last night too.
((((hugs))0 for you!!
you have to remember all the WOnderful good things you have been doing for yourself, and how far you have come.
I think you are very bright, strong, couragous, brave,let alone a great mommy, a great support system for so many at your chirch, and here!!
You Rock RW!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 8, 2005
12:29 pm
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addicts wife
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thumkin... I think I'll call my therapist today.

November 8, 2005
12:38 pm
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mj
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With the recent change in weather, daylight savings time, and the cooler temperatures, I have found myself fighting a daily fog. I try to get moving because the exercise releases happy hormones! Grab all the sunlight you can as well!

November 8, 2005
1:07 pm
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Randomwomen2
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my depresion came back about 3 weeks ago and it has gradualy gotten worse

November 8, 2005
1:12 pm
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RW2

I have read some of your poems, and I read recently you were doing some coursework, and doing really well...you have no reason at all to feel inferior to others. You are talented and a very warm understanding person. That's alot more than you can say for a great many people.

Sometimes crying is just a release, maybe for something else. It doesn't always mean depression (of course if you have other symptoms of depression you should get help to beat it)

Everyone feels 'stupid' sometimes...let it be fleeting, like a sneeze, and shrug it off. You are above people's petty judgements.

((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

~charlie~X

November 8, 2005
1:19 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I am on medication already. Im on .3 milligrams of clonidine and 300 milligrams of seraquel and 350 milligrams of lamitcal. I just last thursday saw my doc and he raised my lamitcal so hopefully that will do some good i know it takes a while to work.I just feel like im hanging on to life by a thread.

November 8, 2005
2:15 pm
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(((((rw2))))

Eventually (soon!), that thread will feel like a strong rope and you will be back on your feet again. I know it. You have the strength...
~love charlie~X

November 8, 2005
4:54 pm
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Randomwomen2
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i sure hope that happens soon. I also seem to get stupidder when i have a headache. Which is not good cause i have one now and im trying to write a paper for school

November 8, 2005
11:31 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I seem to be dooing good in school I have gotten A's on the 8 papers i have done thats about the only thing im doing right and i just hope that i can keep it up

November 9, 2005
12:32 pm
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coastergirl
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Crying yourself to sleep, a feeling I know all to well! I have been crying myself to sleep ever since I was a teenager. I also hit myself and think about suicide alot!!! I keep signing up for school but then skipping my classes because I feel dumb, then I drop them and take it out on myself. I have been in a BAD relationship for almost two years I guess it's easier dealing with him then finding strength in myself to make something of myself. I haven't written any poetry since I was 16 but when I did it was always about being lost between the two worlds of love and hate. I am 27 and just now discovering who I am and that all that I have and am experiencing, I am not alone. My first counselor only made me feel worse about myself so I switched. I actually went to sleep last night with a smile. I have never felt so up beat and the feeling came for knowing I was for once in my life doing something for myself, spoken from experience love yourself and do only for yourself! Read lots of books I am finding out that I am a codependent person I never even knew what that was until now. Here's a book I found at the local library, Claiming your self- esteem. By: Carolyn M. Ball

November 9, 2005
5:47 pm
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exoticflower
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RW, I had so much fear going back to school after dropping out at 17...highschool and college where two different worlds I assumed, I was older than most of my classmates, I felt totally behind in life!

But in time I realized that I was MADE to be a college student, I just responded better to being treated as an adult, having basic rules and then being left alone to get done what I needed to. I know you are going to do great!

I completely understand the way you are feeling right now, it's sometimes called "toxic shame" I think, it's NOT YOUR FAULT! Look inside and realize that you are a good person, a loving mother, a bright and caring girl, and those who gave you the message you where not good enough and are not 'right' is who is REALLY wrong. Who makes these rules, this understood 'right and wrong' standard and tells the rest of us we have to live by them? It's almost like there is a game we are expected to play the right way, and i don't know about you, but I never agreed to play a game or follow rules that don't make sense like not being myself, not expressing discomfort whn I feel it. You have the right to be who you are and not to be ashamed of yourself Julie! (((((hugs)))), hope things are getting better! luv, ef

November 9, 2005
8:14 pm
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taj64
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Please don't cry. You are too special to cry. well maybe it is cleansing for you. Crying is good for the soul sometimes. It is preparing you for something good. Love TAJ

November 10, 2005
12:06 am
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Lass
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I'm no MD, but I am a big believer in exercise, preferably first thing in the morning, for treating depression.

Some of those drugs can leave one feeling like a zombie.

Love you, sweet Random. Hold on. Here's a prayer going up for you.

LL

November 10, 2005
4:46 pm
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taj64
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Hi Random, how did you sleep last night?

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