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Crack- Can you really get hooked the first time?
October 13, 1999
4:10 pm
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Sierra
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September 27, 2010
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I know that I've been harping on the crack cocaine issue a lot, but is it true that a person can get hooked on it the first time? Forgot to mention in my last post that my husband had been married before and both he and his former wife had a crack problem. That was about 10-11 years ago or so. I never in my wildest dreams thought he'd go back to something like that. He told me that he had lost everything the first time---his house, his wife, and almost his kids. He was selling to support their addiction. I just don't understand why he would do this after spending almost 9 years rebuilding credit, having a new home built, a new car, a loving wife and kids and a steady job! How did this happen?? I still have in the back of my mind that he could have been cheating on me with other women too. On one hand, I believe it's the drug, but I've never seen him high, only drunk. Doubt that I'd even know he had been smoking since I'm not sure what to look for, ya know? This whole thing is so scary and unbelievable! I'm afraid to leave him...I love him so much. What if this throws him over the edge? I've been honest with him about the apartment that I'm looking into, and also told him to feel free to come over and call whenever he wants to. I'm not ready to lose him or give him up. I just know that we cannot continue living like this....Surely there have to be some major changes. Anyone have any ideas? I'm frantic! Sorry to keep posting so often...I guess I'm hoping to get all of the answers at once. Sorry....Also, I can agree with the lady that posted about feeling like a failure. This is my third marriage as well. Is there something wrong with me?

October 14, 1999
11:17 am
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Cici
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From my own experience, you can become addicted to any drug the first time you use it (except maybe pot, but that's a much more benign drug)

Things to look for in a tweaker (someone who uses methamphetamines or coke)...Fast/excessive talking, bugged out eyes, twitching/fidgeting, bloodshot eyes, irritability.

It's not about you. It's about the drugs. People who are addicted will give up anything and everything because as they see it, they cannot live without drug use. Your husband has a problem that can only be cured by seeing a drug therapy counselor.

October 14, 1999
12:34 pm
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Jaskid
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September 30, 2010
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Sierra,

My father-in-law was a drug addict for 35yrs...he has been sober for 11yrs now...How... God saved him from his life of Hell. He had of lose everything...I mean everything. His house, wife, kids ,and job... My husband finally got to point where he told his father that he was not going to put up with his addiction anymore. He was 17 at the time... He went over there to get some of his things and found his Dad with a loaded sawed off shot-gun in his mouth... He was terrified, but he knew at this point there was nothing he could do to change him. God spoke to his heart and said walk out of there right now and that is what my husband did... As he was just about to get in his car his father came running out in his underwear, dropped to his knees and asked his son to help him. They hugged and the next day was church and come to think of it my father-in-laws birthday. Well that day changed his life... by the Grace of God he was finally free! My husband and his Dad hugged and cried together for hours. It was a rough next year going through withdrawl and everything but he made it. He was the meanest man you'd ever meet, now he is a teddy bear. He has his wife back, after six yrs of separation and 7 grandchildren he can see grow up. See he's got to want to change ,you can't do it for him. No, don't give up on him, miracles do happen but do not let him bring you down with him... Pray that God will heal him.

Jaskid

October 14, 1999
10:04 pm
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lost soul
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Hey,Jaskid

I like it! very compassion,very patience and most of all.It tells other that there is always HOPE.
Anything is possible!

October 15, 1999
7:46 am
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starie
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Dear Sierra,

I am going to try to help you understand what is going on for you as I see it.

Your partner does have another relationship, it's with a drug. He has formed a dependancy on something that is familiar to him, that perhaps provides him with a false sense of security, and helps him escape. It is so difficult to understand addiction if we do not suffer it ourselves, but it never leaves the person, it is just about how they are able to cope with it.

The difficulty you face is watching this happen. It is so hard to witness a person you care about destroying themselves and everyone around them. Suddenly you become lost in it all too, and it becomes all consuming.

I think it is important that you recognise that by offering support you may be feeding his habit. I know this sounds bizzare but when a user is supported by close family members it can often serve to give them the permission they need to carry on. However hard it is you must try to remove yourself and find out where you are in all this. Only he can control his future.

I am a drug and alcohol counsellor and can offer you more help if you need it. I am also called Xena in the disussions, but I couldn't work out how to enter as Xena a second time!!!!! Computers are NOT my strong point!

Take care, and remember not to lose sight of yourself in all this.

October 15, 1999
7:51 am
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starie
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Oh and Sierra,

Please do not feel you have to apologise for posting. I am privaleged to be able to help in any way, and as another human being you deserve support.

Keep posting whenever you need to, as I said in the message 'can I be your guide' human touch is the greatest healer.

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