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Court day, Cont'd
November 17, 2005
3:47 pm
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
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I just got back and WOW, that was hard. I didn't get called up to the stand or anything....but found out that if they decide to throw him out of drug court that he will go to prison for 3yrs. That is not good. His public defender is trying to reduce his charges because she really sees that there is hope in him. I wanted space but my gosh, that is not what i was trying to do. I know that it's not my fault. I was just hoping we could both have time to work on ourselves. I didn't want him to go to prison. He doesn't belong there. I didn't think that this would be so hard. I have to just pray that they give him one more shot in drug court!! I honestly believe in my heart that will do him a world of good, even if they can do inpatient/residential. Got to go back to work....please respond!! 🙂

November 17, 2005
3:55 pm
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
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I think you need to let him face his own consequences.

He made his bed and he may very well have to lie in it. And that's not YOUR fault - so work on ridding yourself of the guilt. You weren't the one on probation in possession of drugs. He took the gamble and knew the price. He was COUNTING ON the fact that you wouldn't turn him in. And you didn't...he got caught fair and square...you didn't squeal on him for the drugs, you squealed on him for the abuse.

Don't let the guilt get to you.

EVEN IF he gets three years, he may be out sooner on good behaviour...and going to prison may be what he needs to get clean and smarten up...like "scared straight" kind of thing.

I learned that when we pray for someone, we are not supposed to pray for the outcome we WANT, but that the "right" outcome happens, no matter what...perhaps going to jail for three years IS the right outcome.

Stop beating yourself up - you did the right thing to protect yourself and your daughter...and HAD HE BEEN CLEAN when they picked him up, he may not be facing three years....it wasn't your fault he wasn't clean - he choose to do it...nobody put it in his body without his consent.

I am a firm believer in letting people who break the laws face the consequences...I know I can't dish out justice myself, so I rely on the courts for it...and if someone screwed up once, they might deserve not to go to jail...but in this case, he did it again, even after they gave him his free ticket out of jail the first time...he took a gamble and he lost. I can't feel sorry for him...but then again, I don't love him....perhaps I would feel differently if I was in your shoes....No, I don't think I would...when my BF was drinking and driving, I prayed he would get caught and go to jail...cuz I knew it would be the only thing that changed him, or make him straighten his act. I loved him, and would never want him to go to jail, but if that's what it took to get him clean...I would vote for it.

So don't worry about it...he may get all or part of the 3 years and if he gets the full 3, they may let him out early anyway....

just keep focusing on you and your daughter...and let him deal with his outcome.

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