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counseling dependency 2
December 13, 2001
4:24 pm
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cloud
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Tinker, I think you have some great New Year's resolutions there. Why not go for them? I've been reading your other post, "Scared Girl" but I haven't written on there because I don't want to intrude. It is your post and I think you are getting some good advice from others on this website. You know, when you're young, it's hard NOT to care what other people think about you. But you do begin to learn that it really doesn't matter anymore. An older friend of mine told me that. She said, "Who the f*** cares about what people think of me!" And I believe that too. I am what I am, even if that person is mentally unstable. And I don't even know WHO I AM. Well, take care.

December 13, 2001
4:26 pm
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cloud
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*Call Barbara...Don't call Barbara...Call Barbara...Don't call Barbara...* Why is this such a hard decision?

December 14, 2001
6:42 am
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I doubt i will stick to the new years resolutions! they always end up in the bin! or i forget them!It is hard not to care what others think yeh! glad you don't worry what others think of you. i admire you for that cloud.

I don't mind you writing on the other post i made.I am thankful for anyone's comments.

About ringing barbara....what is it you want to ring her about? Stupid question really! i get urges all the time for no reason, just wana ring. I got a letter from kay today,sending on a piece of work we did that i wanted to see,so she sent to to me.At the end of the letter she said "Ring me if you need to". This made me feel better,i really didn't think she meant it.

Tinker
xxxx

December 14, 2001
12:47 pm
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cloud
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Oh my God! That is so sweet of Kay to put that at the end of the letter. Tinker, I think she really DID mean it! 🙂 That is so great. That would make me feel so good inside. Warm and fuzzy! 🙂

I wanted to ring Barbara about the "two week problem". But I didn't.

December 14, 2001
2:46 pm
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Tinkerbe11
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Cloud: I really like the way you described that feeling. "Warm and fuzzy". Thats really nice.Its so true though.

What are you going to do about ringing barbara?I know it is easy for me to say, but you should do what your instincs say.What is it you are worried about ringing her?Tell yourself there is a point in ringing-you told me that.

*Tinker*

December 14, 2001
6:47 pm
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cloud
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Oh yeah, I did tell you that, didn't I? Well, Barbara doesn't work on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays anyway. So my ringing her would do no good anyway. But I might ring her on Monday. Then I'll be seeing her on Tuesday anyway. My weekend is going to go by so fast because I have to work all weekend. So I'm glad about that.

WARM AND FUZZY!!! I love those words too!

December 15, 2001
10:47 am
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Tinkerbe11
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Cloud:Yes thats good really isn't it.If you have to do other things,your mind goes anywhere alse but thinking about kay(barbara for u)well sometimes!

Let me know what she says won't you.

Tinker

December 16, 2001
1:42 am
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SuzyQ
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Tinker,
I was re-skimming through this thread. I also just posted on your most recent thread. Would it be possible for Kay or Kelly to talk with your parents for maybe 1 session to explain to them what's up with you? You had discussed panic/anxiety, are you taking any meds for this? If you have these symptoms generally meds and therapy are the appropriate Tx.
~SuzyQ

December 17, 2001
5:17 am
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Tinkerbe11
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SuzyQ-I have meds for the panic-just to slow down my heart beat(adrenaline) Thats it. Kay has said she would talk with my parents but i just feel even she can't say anything or it will upset them.

December 17, 2001
6:08 pm
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cloud
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Tinker, I think you should let Kay talk with your parents. At least then you can possibly get into some therapy again.

BABS, here I come!

December 18, 2001
6:21 am
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Cloud:Do you think? I don't. When we have spoke in therapy (when my parents were there) i feel my mum didn't like how kay spoke to her-just kinda patronising-not that kay ment to though.I am going to my doctors tomorow to ask if i see him, then will it be confidential.

Let me know how it goes with barbara.

Tinker

December 18, 2001
12:14 pm
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Hey Tinker! How are ya? I can honestly say that I am happy! I spoke to Babs today and she is going to have me come in the day after Christmas!!! Plus we spoke about things and it made me feel better. I then asked her if I could call her because it helps when I talk to her. She said yes! I feel like she filled up my "HOLE" today. I feel warm and fuzzy 🙂 If there's one thing that could have made today's session even better, it is that I would have loved a hug from Babs. But that didn't happen. I was going to try to give her a hug today (because it's Christmas time), but I didn't. I wonder what she would have done though? So now I don't feel guilty if I call Babs every now and then. I love her!!! I love my Babbsy!!! 🙂

I hope your talking with your doctor goes well tomorrow. I'm sure it would be confidential. About Kay talking to your parents...my mom felt the same way when she came with me to therapy a few times back when I was in high school. She felt like the therapist was "attacking" her. But maybe this would mean YOU going back to Kay. I don't know. Think about it.

December 18, 2001
12:57 pm
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Cloud:Im really happy for you! I can imagine how thats made you feel warm and fuzzy,I love feeling like that.But at the moment i feel cold and dry.I might ring kay tomorow.I'm not sure.

At the moment i feel i should be getting ready to go to my course,and see my tutor...kelly.Makes me feel sick.i don't have her anymore.as soon as the new course starts in january the 15th,i will go and see her.

Im glad one of us is happy! If only we both could be hey?!

December 19, 2001
11:07 am
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Tinkerbe11
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AHH! Just when i start to think things are looking up, i feel absolutley s**t again(-sorry about the language!) Hope ya ok cloud. Talk soon i hope

December 19, 2001
4:11 pm
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cloud
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What's going wrong Tinker? I wish the both of us could be happy too. Of course, my happiness does not last long anyway. The warm and fuzziness is starting to wear off. Time to call Babs, maybe.

December 20, 2001
11:45 am
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Tinkerbe11
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Everything! I went to a place to see about counselling and it just such an upsill struggle again!

Tinker

December 22, 2001
10:47 am
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Tinkerbe11
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Hi Cloud:Just thought i would post a thread to ask how ya are (on the c.dependancy thread!) How are you then?Howz it going with barbara?

Tinker

December 22, 2001
2:16 pm
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You know how happy I was that Babs is starting a new group beginning in January. Well, I just realized that (since my schedule for school changes in January), I will be in school when she is having the group. I am so mad right now. I was so happy that I would get to see Babs twice a week and now I don't even know when I will be able to go to my own individual session. I think I'm gonna call Babs this Monday to talk about it, because I can't go on like this till Wednesday. I hope she can work something out for me. 🙁

December 23, 2001
7:16 am
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Tinkerbe11
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Oh Gosh. Thatw would make me so mad too.How annoying.Is there any way of changing your school schedule or changing the day with babs?

December 23, 2001
6:45 pm
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cloud
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Can't change my school scheule, but I'm going to call Babs tomorrow to ask if she could start the group a little later or just see what she says.

December 26, 2001
5:07 pm
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cloud
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I didn't do it. I didn't have to. Today I planned on making a big scene if Barbara told me she would be away next week. I thought about this all this past week, the fact that she might be going away during New Years. And I came to the conclusion that there was no way I could get by without her. I had planned to pull out the weapon on myself if she gave me the bad news. I even planned to not come back home, that I would be in the hospital tonight and who knows how long after that. I was going to threaten to kill myself. But, I didn't have to. Barbara is NOT going away next week and I'll see her next Wednesday. So I'm okay. At least for now.

December 31, 2001
9:57 am
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Tinkerbe11
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Hi cloud.I can't get into my e-mail right now so i don't know whats happened with it.I think the system has gone down.I will keep trying but i just thought i'd let you know-i haven't forgot you!

Tinker

December 31, 2001
3:51 pm
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cloud
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Hey Tinker. I was actually wondering if everything was okay with you, since I hadn't gotten an email. Hope you are well. It's almost the New Year for you. Happy New Year! (How's the new top???)

January 1, 2002
10:36 am
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Tinkerbe11
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Yeh.Everything is ok-well ok as i could be. Happy new year cloud.There is something wrong with my e-mail site thing,so i haven't been able to accesss if you have sent me an e-mail.I am annoyed about that.I will give you my other e-mail instead.sorry.My top was ok i suppose!
Hope to hear from you soon. Love,Tinker. My tempory e-mail is- [email protected]

January 1, 2002
12:14 pm
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Hi cloud! Its ok now. Its working for the time being! I am e-amiling you bk now. 🙂

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