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Coping with a loss of function/self-worth
February 14, 2000
3:55 am
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bummeroo
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September 27, 2010
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Hello-
I just need to get this out to see if there is anyone else like me out there. I am in the process of getting some major sugeries performed on my shoulder (hurt while in military) Everytime something gets close to working, it turns around on me. I find it so hard to trust anyone anymore. I am pulling away from my friends and am down all the time. Its my dominant hand that is messed up so simple ADL's are difficult for me now. I went from playing college tennis and working to a degree in sports med, to feeling utterly worthless and useless. I am afraid to talk to anyone in the military because I dont want anything in my health records that can hurt my chances of getting correct compensation for my injuries. I am going to have to be a body brace for 12 weeks at least and another one for another 6 after that. I just turned 23 and I feel like I am wasting life. I cant get myself to believe in anything now because I have been hurt too many times before. Any suggestions?
thankS!
Bummeroo

February 14, 2000
10:19 am
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hazza
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September 24, 2010
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HI B,
It is very difficult when you are used to being an active person to find yourself temporarily disabled and not able to do everything you could before, I have other things in my life that have meant that i can't do any of the things that i "should" be doing at my age and i think in a way i understand your frustration.

Try to remain positive, i know that is easy said than done, but you are entering adulthood now, more and more you will see that we all have a Non perfect life in one way or another, and it is not what happens, because over tha course of a life time we will all experience greif loss pain sadness as well as the happy times, but the attitude with which we face these challenges. You will be in a brace for some weeks but in the course of a life time that is not that long, you will come out of it healthier with your body benefitting from the treatment.
You have always been an althletice type of person, maybe this is the perfect time to study other things of a more cerebal nature that appeal to you?
It isn't for ever, you are not doomed, but your attitude can doom you if you always see the negative,
I try each night to think of as many posotive things about my life that i can, at first it seems silly because you don't really belive it, but with practice you begin to realise that you can feel much happier when being positive, and that invite good opotunities into your life, as if by magic.
There is so much positive that you can gain from this experience, you could go to a kids hospital and reassure children who will have to go through similar treatments to you, you will be able to understand their fears. You could use your compensation to start up a great business and be your own boss, there are postive things that can come out of any situation.

But you are depressed, understandably, you should go to your doctors for that, if you need concelling for that then go, this will not affect any claim for compensation as it has occured after and because of your injury. Only things that happened before your injury can be said to play a part in the events that would be looked into for compensation purposes.

You are not wasting life, injuries can happen to any one at any time, You will only be wasting life if you allow them to get you so down that you lose the will to get out there and do something with your life. even if it was not the same thing as you had planned before. Roll with the changes.
Peace
Hazza

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