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"coparenting" advice
January 4, 2006
2:30 am
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orangeboy
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argh. i feel so frustrated right now.

i have a dog that i am supposed to be coparenting with someone. meaning sharing responsibilities with them. i'm getting ready to leave for 4 months in a few weeks. we've been planning on her taking care of him while i'm gone for a long time.

however, recently, she has initiated space from me for one year, which i am glad for, very glad, as i actually think that we're bad for each other. she is the most unhealthy relationship that i have in my life currently, and i do not want to be attached to her. i want to be done with her.

but, i am dependent on her for taking care of my dog while i'm gone. i don't trust her, i don't like her right now, and i don't want to remain in contact with her in any way. its contradictory to the "taking space" thing.

GRRRRRRRR!!!! i just feel so MAD! and mad that i feel stuck. argh. what else can i do?

January 4, 2006
3:17 am
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orangeboy
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i don't want to have anything to do with her anymore. she has completely blown my trust on so many levels.

but here i am, i have put myself in a position where i'm dependent on her, against my better judgment, and in a situation where we're sharing a major responsibility, while simultaneously trying to "take space"

January 4, 2006
5:15 am
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alycia
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Can't someone else take care of the dog. Honestly i am not trying to determine the seriousness of this problem but its really not that bad, i am recently split from my 7 mth olds daughters dad and sharing ur child is alot harder. Ask a family member to care for the dog, if that is not possible here in aus we have places that mind ur pets while u are away. That is always an option, keep us posted.....

January 4, 2006
5:22 am
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bonita1
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ask your parents if they would be willing to house the dog for you? They can only say, "No," and you will not put yourself in a position where you yourself have said you will be dependent on your friends, against your better judgment...

don't be afraid to ask, hon. you have nothing lose.

I am gonna go now and pass out on my bed....

XXXOOO ~~bonita 😉

January 4, 2006
9:23 am
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taj64
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The dog is a tie between the two of you. If your relationship with this person is completely cut off then the dog needs care from else where, a friend, family etc. A year's time? A lot can happen in a year. Chances are you will recover from this person. You cannot trust her, and without trust a relationship is doomed and unsuccessful. I believe trust can be regained but it takes a lot of work from both partners. You say you are done, then done is done. Hanging on a clause for one year is just prolonging the inevitable and not closing the door to the past.

January 4, 2006
9:29 am
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gingerleigh
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Orangeboy, is this person the woman you were going to propose to? Or someone different?

January 4, 2006
1:46 pm
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exoticflower
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oboy, unlike a child, a dog is not going to suffer in any way if you choose not to coparent with this person. Perhaps you can just give her the dog? Or say "no, here's your part of r\the $ for the dog"? Don't let someone play on your sense of responsability by making a pet housing sitation a domestic one. You are not coparentingf, it is a dog. Sounds like someones screwing with your head ND MAKING YOU FEEL GUILT that may not be apropriate to the situation. And even if it where a parenting situation, any parent willing to put the dchild in the middle--that poor child is better off with less of their involvement!

January 4, 2006
1:59 pm
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kathygy
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are you using the dog as an excuse to maintain ties with this woman?

January 4, 2006
4:46 pm
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exoticflower
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Or letting her use the dog as an excuse?

How does Iz feel about this?

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