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Confussed, Stressed, and Depressed
June 28, 2000
2:53 pm
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mama0526
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September 27, 2010
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I lost my virginity at the age of 16. Was going to marry the guy but then I backed off. (Good Choice) Did not stay with the guy.

By 18 I slept with 2 other guys. The total was now 3. Regret it all.

Went on the internet to find a friend someone I could talk to. Yes indeed I did find someone. He sounded like the perfect guy (down to earth).

He told me about his life. He tells me that his first real girlfriend cheated on him and he beat her up for that. And after her all of his girlfriends he use to beat. They all left him of course. And I told him about the mistakes I have done.

Even after he told me this I decided to make it more then friendship. We started dating. Then we started falling for each other. He was so perfect. The kind of guy I did want to marry.

I moved in with him. Then the arguments happened. He started screaming at me. He started calling me names. Making it sound like I was no good for nothing. Started talking to me like I was a dog and not a human being. He says he loves me and I do believe him. He says he doesn't know why he loses his temper. He tells me he trusts me. He tells me he is sorry afterwards. But each arguement after that it just gets worse. Now he is starting to push me. In one ocassion I fell and hit myself with the table...got a bruise. He gets mad at me and starts pinching me and they hurt alot. In one ocassion he has really hit me with a slap on the back of my head with his hand. Another ocassion he threw a remote and it hit my back got a bruise for that too.

He says that he really doesn't want to hurt me physically or mentally. But he just doesn't know how to control himself.

I really love him. But I am giving up. I tell him I will try to help him overcome this behavior. But he is not helping himself.

How should I look at my problem.

June 28, 2000
9:52 pm
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DONNIE
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September 29, 2010
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When dating it is as good as it gets, if he is like this and you have not married him yet it will only get worse. Run as fast as you can unless you want to live with this for the rest of your life and possibly bring children into this envoironment. Also, food for thought he could lose his temper one time and lose control of himself and you could really get hurt or killed and it be an accident because he didn't really mean to do it. Please think about this.

June 29, 2000
2:01 am
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Iris
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September 29, 2010
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He needs a professional help. I agree with Donnie, you should take care of yourself and your life away from such environment. Love should not be an excuse for destroying our or other's life. Take Care.

June 30, 2000
9:50 pm
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Spirit
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September 29, 2010
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Why is it we women see the red flags waving high and strong in the winds of warning and, yet, we forge ahead and try to make everything all better? This now makes three: Run like your tail is on fire and don't look back. Learn from this, do not regret the lesson. And, get yourself into some councelling quickly. You are a young, living, breathing spirit who deserves a hell of a lot more than an abuser.

July 2, 2000
4:35 pm
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msloris
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September 29, 2010
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I totally agree with Spirit. Why did you think YOU would be different. First of all, you may have already been somewhat unstable considering the decision to actually look for a mate on the internet - sorry everyone!! - then you met someone that was definately utterly unstable- what were you thinking??! Anyhow, I believe the fact that he told you about the past abuse whether he said that he didn't like doing it or not, was his forewarning to YOU, telling you what to expect. Girl - RUN

July 2, 2000
11:47 pm
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holly2001
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September 24, 2010
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Mama,
Please see my comment to "myself" from tonight. Please, women, stop being victims to men. The men are just using you (us) to provide them with some stability, someone to come home to , someone to take out their frustrations. If you have (accidentally) gotten involved with one of these men, you have to get AWAY from him, no matter the cost. You will lose yourself with this man, and that's really tragic seeing how you have ONE LIFE on this earth. He does not deserve to control, dominate and ruin your one life. You are a separate and special being and you deserve happiness and fulfillment the same as all of us. But unfortunately nobody is going to make the decision for you. You have to leave him and start over, even if you are broke and alone. At least you have your spirit, and your natural talents (we all have some, don't try to say you don' t). PLEASE, leave him and forget about him, and whatever regret you feel, focus it on bad timing, or bad decisions, or whatever, but don't blame yourself. These men can look very attractive to us when they seem to be offering what we want and "need", but in reality we don't need them and are blinding ourselves to their "tricks" and becoming subservient to them. You are a strong WOMAN and you can make it without HIM. Believe it. Don't be afraid. Go out there and make use of your brains and resources in the community and start over. You deserve a frest start. Everyone does. Don't sell yourself short. F__CK controlling, dominating, abusive MEN! You dONT NEED THEM!!!!!!

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