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Confused1
May 31, 2007
12:28 pm
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ecnorlando
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Forum Posts: -1
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September 27, 2010
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I really don't want to mess things up. My main issue is that I always think that something is wrong. What is the solution here. Why can't I enjoy the moments that aren't anything but just hanging out, not right next to each other. Does everything have to be so perfect for me that I will sabotage the entire thing because of my uncertainty. I get so paranoid if there is something as simple as a roll of the eyes. What can I do to fix it? Why am I consumed with everyone liking me or making everyone happy. I am normally a very happy person, but is that because I am making everyone else happy and not myself. I have always thought that I was somewhat selfish in just the fact that I like to be the facilitator, the leader, delegator. What can I do to gain control of myself and stop worrying about anyone else?

June 6, 2007
6:29 pm
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fantas
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Forum Posts: 14
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September 29, 2010
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Ecn, I am bumping this up. I think that first you have to deal with yourself and figure out what you can do so you can accept yourself as you are. You will never be able to believe that other people like you until you like and love yourself exactly like you are. Have you done any counselling around this issue? There are several books on: Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden is a good one. I struggled with this a lot. I am better now but I have to diligently keep affirming myself and getting a handle of my triggers. I find it helps to try and find one thing about me that I am grateful for daily. Like a gratitude journal about me. Everytime I feel myself getting insecure, I counteract with my strong points. I stick to facts. For example, If I feel innsecure about meeting a new group of people because I am not smart, or am shy, or short, whatever, I tell myself, that I have a few degrees, I teach and stand infront of classes and groups and speak, I have good shoes...etc. Then I feel better. I am finding that I am much better now than I was. Instead of waiting for peolple to like me, I go and extend myself to them...hairy at first but it's getting easier...keep at it

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