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Confused Myself
October 24, 1999
11:46 pm
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GiGi
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I have not been happy for a while and couldn't understand what's wrong with me: I am not happy with my job because of my disability (employees rather depend on my staff instead of me), I'm also not happy being married and a mother (even though I love my husband and my precious child) because I don't have freedom anymore like I used to have when I was single, I'm hurt when I found out that my mother is seeing a man for the first time in 30 years, that she kept secret from me. I have no desire to have sex with my husband, even though I had to forced myself to do it to make my husband happy. I really wished that I disappear and lives at other state. I don't understand why I'm feeling that way, even though I cried and feel depressed about everything. Your help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

October 25, 1999
9:01 am
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Cici
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Gigi,

(We have similar names!). These sound like symptoms of clinical depression to me...are you on any prescription medication? If so, see you doctor immediately with your concerns. If you aren't on any prescription meds that might cause depression, you should consider seeing a therapist or counselor.

If you don't feel comfortable with a therapist, see your family doctor. They can prescribe antidepressants which I think can sometimes be good short term because it shortens recovery time (by clearing your i\mind and allowing you the emotional space to deal with your problems as they come). My family doctor recommended St. John's Wort for me, plus my NA meetings, so the combined therpaies have eased my depression greatly. I feel motivated, strong, and like the world is..., well, manageable. Before it felt like the world was crashing down around my head!

You aren't alone in your suffering, and you DO have people who love and care about you. Don't let anything else control you and your emotions but you! Viktor Frankl said, "Everything can be taken away from man but one thing - to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

Good Luck. Keep us posted on your progress!

Cici šŸ™‚

October 25, 1999
11:19 am
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lost soul
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Hi GiGi,
I do not know whether I am right or wrong, but your feelings towards life at this moment could be due to your past experiences and treatment ans so on and so for.And I feel that your hurt is much more greater when you described your mother seeing a man the first time in thirty years and she is keeping it a secret from you.Somtime is good to let go some of your inner feelings because letting it out itself is" therpeautic".I was encouraged to do that.(here)
If you feel uneasy to let it out to people whom you know(in person I mean) you can do it here.( because we all know each others through words, not in "real person" so it does give oneself some "privacy"
Sorry guys(tears, karin,jaskid,guest_guest)I don't mean anything offensive.is just my true words. Althought we have share so much ( more than we share with anybody else)here.You know what I mean?
So,GiGi, if you feel like talking, do so.
Best regards
Lost soul ( also known as HOpe)

October 25, 1999
6:30 pm
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J. C.
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I was going to say depression also. Hi Gigi. It sounds to me like you have some issues you need to face up front. I remember the feelings of loneliness after my first child. I remember feeling like I was responsible for everyone elses happines, mine put aside, but nobody would try to do things to make me happy...like I expected them (him) to be. I felt like my freedom had been once again ripped from me after my second child. This board has really helped me find some of that freedom. At least I get to have a conversation with someone older than 5 šŸ™‚ Talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. I brought it to the attention of my ob/gyn. He prescribed an anti depressant for me and referred me to counselling. I'm off the drugs now, and I really feel much more settled with my life style. It's time to stop feeling sorry and make the changes in your life that you need to so that you can be happy again. This doesn't mean you have to give up anything...just add to it. Going for a walk in the park, a long hot bath, reading a book, going to a restaurant without the kids...you'll think of something. In the meantime, hang in there. We will listen. It won't happen overnight, and just when you think it's getting worse it's all the sudden a little better.

~JC

October 25, 1999
8:28 pm
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GiGi
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A big thanks goes to CiCi, JC, and Lost Soul for helping me out. I will go see my family doctor as soon as possible and see what he have to say. I feel much better talking to you all rather than holding it myself. I'll keep you posted. Again, thanks. (by the way, I'm not on any prescription medication - never have. I remember I start feeling low right after I had my child 2 years ago.)

October 26, 1999
10:04 am
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lost soul
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YOu are most welcome GIGI, This is indeed a wonderful place to share our feelings.
Life, there is always "up and down" always moment of weakness.If you are able to controll it . it will not override you.
When you look back, things which you have somehow managed to put through, aren't it difficult for you initially.
We will all be survivor!!!
šŸ™‚

October 26, 1999
10:54 am
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Cici
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Hi Gigi!

Please share with us some more...were there any other stressors in your life after the baby was born? These can be things like marriage conflicts, family deaths, actually anything that made you feel unhappy, anxious or uncomfortable.

Post-partum depression occurs in many women, due to hormonal fuctuations after childbirth. Women are at least twice as likely to receive a diagnosis of unipolar depression, and also appear to be younger when depression strikes, to have more frequent and longer-lasting bouts and to respond less successfully to treatment. Postpartum depression can last up to 9 months after the mother ahs given birth. After postpartum, which can be described as situational depression, you might have experienced some other life-stressors that pushed you into actual severe depression. This can be attributed to reduced contact with people your own age (a big complaint during the 1950s), continued hormonal fluctuations, etc. that cause you to feel a certain amount of learned helplessness.

It's important for you to seek help soon. I remember my mother's bouts of depression due to the death of one of my older sisters before I was born. She never received treatment, and I was so confused and scared as a child beceause it had nothing to do with me, therefore I couldnt help her. It was traumatizing. Good luck again!

Cici šŸ™‚

October 26, 1999
8:45 pm
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GiGi
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I went to see the doctor today and he ordered me to have a wide variety of testing, from blood work to psych tests and see what's the finding are. Tomorrow I will have a four-hours glucose blood work all morning (no food! yike!) and then go see the pyschology for testing. I'll let you know how's thing tomorrow or so. Gigi

October 27, 1999
10:27 am
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J. C.
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Good for you Gigi! I'm glad you're doing this...it'll all be worth it, even the no food šŸ™‚ I'll be looking for your post tomorrow.

~JC

October 27, 1999
10:03 pm
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GiGi
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Guess what happened to me today? During my glucose blood work, I passed out several time after drinking sugary soda. My bloodwork showed that I have a severe hypoglycemia! My doctor immediately put me on a strict diet on high protein. The nutritionist gave me a whole lot of food information and I'll see what happens for a week or so. My psych said that my body changed alot right after I had my child, so is my hormone. He said that I don't need prescription right now as he want to see how well I am after my new diet first. We'll see!!!

October 28, 1999
3:05 pm
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J. C.
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Wow!!! Meat and Veggies? I knew that a hormonal imbalance can cause depression and mood swings. I knew that a lack of sleep can affect it, but I didn't realize that your diet can affect your hormone balance. I guess that does make sense. Good thing you went in right away for testing. You could have ended up with various physical problems from glucose problems. Anyways... I'm hardly an expert. Keep us informed.
~JC

October 28, 1999
9:27 pm
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GiGi
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Yes, I was very surprised about my test result. I never heard of it before, so I went to the library to get books and internet topic search on hypoglycemia. I learned alot and found that's what I already have before: depression, exhaustion, moody, weak, some fainting, headaches, and no hunger spell. That symptoms matched the list. If I hadn't find out, I can go into coma - isn't that scary? I have to write the journal for drs. and see how things go. I felt a little different since my new diet - like not tired, more energy, etc. We'll see!!!!!

November 7, 1999
3:47 pm
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lost soul
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Hi GiGi
How are you?

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