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confused about meanings of ideas
November 29, 2001
10:01 pm
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suzyblue
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I am so glad I could say something that helps. I have recieved a great deal. Yes, when a child reaches adulthood, your relationship has to change as does the unconditional part of things. It's not easy and my son is only just 16, and I know I will be in the same position of having to re-evaluate the unconditional part which as mothers is so integral.

November 30, 2001
9:31 am
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artist 2
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September 27, 2010
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Vivcav, my ex is 43 - aint' that a coincedence! He would accuse me of overreacting from time to time... demean me when I was suspecious - and for good reason i might add - he was a good actor! and for someone who loves so desperately. i was perfect prey. now, i want to make every step of his life miserable, unfortunately i cannot spend time doing that.

Life and the powers in charge (god, whatever you call it) will provide what you need. If you let go, your needs will be taken care of. Just have faith.

November 30, 2001
10:41 am
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artist 2
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Blondie, I need me a man in his twenties.

You're right! These men seem to be having mid-life crisises (sp?) - is it any harder for women? And, why pray tell, do women not physically take it out on their men? Why does it seem the women are the ones taking it?

November 30, 2001
1:29 pm
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vivcav
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artist 2, blondieNYC
seems like 43 is the magic number. Is there a "L" shape on our forehead by any chance. Seems like I'm a loser magnet. No thanks! Had my share for a lifetime. I agree, the POWERS that be have shown me what a mistake I was making everytime he opened his foul mouth. I just needed to face the truth. Hard to do when you are in "L...O...V...E". Sure it is harder for women but when we make our needs known we are whiny b*tches'. Why stoop to their level. take care

November 30, 2001
1:44 pm
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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No 43 is not the magic number, or maybe it was, should have gotten the clue when he was 43, or even when I was 43, but he is 50, and I am 48 now. When I fell for his recovery bit, he said you don't have to work, you don't have to worry, I will take care of you, what a line of bull, although he has done that, but its also a form of controll, no job, no money, no money you can't leave. No job, no social connections, only him. Get it. Go read that site, pull up ladeskas stuff on charmers manipulators, narcissistic nut heads, get out while you can, it just gets harder the longer you stay. Yea, I was the only one that put up with his trash too, and yea he was the only one there for me when the crap hit the fan, but it was crap that he created, go to the site, re read what you posted, and then go back to the site until you see your future.

December 2, 2001
11:11 pm
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vivcav
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Molly,

GOT IT!!! THANKS SO VERY MUCH!!! It now makes sense what seemed so "loving and thoughtful,etc." is nothing but a CONTROL tactic in disguise. Thank you for helping me see this clearly. I never thought of it that way and it makes perfect sense. If I didn't say it already Thank you you are an angel.

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