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Conflict of interest...
November 12, 2000
7:01 am
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Ruth
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My mother has Schizophrenia...it is genetic. With the recent cuts in medicaid funding in Arkansas, she will need a new place to live. Right now, she is living in a group home with two other women like her. But since medicaid can't pay for it, and she only draws $500 in Social Security...the options are limited to one. Moving her to where I am so I can take care of her. She is 48 and all she needs to do is be given a pill every day to maintain her. She can care for herself otherwise. Problem is, I have only been married for 8 months and I am afraid that this choice, if it were made, would put strain on our new marriage..possibly too much of one. He doesn't like the idea of mother living with us...and frankly, it breaks my heart to see her the way she is now. She acts so hostile towards me over the phone...it makes me want to die just hearing her speak to me that way. I know it is the illness talking, but I still can't dismiss is. Last time we talked, she yelled at me so much that I cried and eneded up hanging up on her. All she can love is that son of hers (my brother) who abandoned her in a shack and stole all her money..left her with nothing. I flew 2000 miles to get the courts off her back, get guardianship over her, and get her into a treatment facility which at the time I thought was good, but it appears they can't even get her medicine down her...so what do you think of my conflict? Any constructive advise?

November 15, 2000
6:53 pm
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christina
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wow, that's quite a problem you have on your hands. I honestly don't know what to tell you other than you need to do what's best for you. Take some time and think about it....
sorry i couldn't be more help

November 15, 2000
8:29 pm
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nhon
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ruth. your problem is very understandble to me because i have a schizophrenic brother in the family.. he is now currently in a caring home..and living someone with schizophrenia is so problematic that it leads to arguments among family members and very sad moments... our family understands very little about schizophrenia..and instead of coming to understand his illness, he is so problematic that my family members at times would verbal abuse him.. we can't come to any conclusion of what we can do with him.. and so we send him to a caring home.. i know that it is heartbreaking to have your own family member living in a caring home.. they dont like it there much and they would often call home in anger..
i really dont know what to say for you becuase i dont have an answer for myself either.. but i just think that people with schizophrenia have lost all thoughts and reasoning.. and the only way you can help them is to console them to make them feel better.. there is no point in reasoning with them because it's just pointless.. their mentality and thinking is almost like a child so you have to be your very best at nurturing them and encouraging them to take their medication.. whatever they think of you. or how much the ever come to hating you. you just have to understand that it's not really them that's behaving that way.. it's just their illness.. yes. it's very difficult to realize this because the abuse is just slapping you in the face.. but if you are strong enough and constantly reminding yourself that these people are mentally ill.. and it's not really their fault.. then perhaps it will make you feel alot better about the situation..
i haven't visited my brother in about a year .. i have to admit that i'm such a coward myself.. i once made many visits to the caring home before and the sight of seeing him pale and skinny ..and constantly asking me to take him away from the caring home just hurts me so much... i sometimes cry just thinking about his situation .. and i know that there is nothing i can do to help him with his illness. the only thing that i can ever do is to be by his side but thats just depresses me so much i have kept myself away from him. and it's been a year thus far.. and i'm still afraid to go see him.. i feel very ashamed about myself.. yes. it's very difficult. it's never anything easy when you are situation like this..

i suggest looking up schizophrenia on the net.. there might be discussion groups that talks about schizophrenia.. and probably discussions about schizophrenia might give you some helpful insights .. take care..

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