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completely pathetic and embarrassing question about therapy
April 7, 2007
2:02 am
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cpt1212
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okay, so i am in therapy, obviously--hence the title of the thread---and i find that i am thinking about my therapist much of the time. we are of the same sex and i am heterosexual--it is not a sexual attraction---i guess it is more like a needy, validation type thing. I just want to know if this is common and will pass or if i should be worried or maybe change therapists. i don't want to change therapists--i like and trust the one i have and see progress. if anyone can relate or has some wisdom to depart please share . . .

sincerely,
very embarrassed cpt

April 7, 2007
2:15 am
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mamacinnamon
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CPT:

I honestly don't know. Just wanted to say HI and that there is no need for embarrassment here. 🙂

April 7, 2007
2:31 am
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southgoingzax
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Hi cpt,

I have felt like that too. Sometimes I wish my counselor and I could be friends, because she seems like a person I could really get along with - because i can tell her anything, because she listens, she seems so kind and caring....But the reality is she is just doing her job. It's her job to listen to me, and it's her job to be....appealing....to me, to make me want to share things with her and trust her etc. Does that make sense? I think what you are feeling is perfectly natural - you are finally getting some validation, and you are starving for it, so you have in some way latched on to your therapist because she/he is giving you a little bit of what you have needed to have in your life. I'm sure this is just a phase in your recovery.

zax

April 7, 2007
2:38 am
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cpt1212
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thanks zax, i hope it is a phase of recovery cause it feels pretty pathetic--ha!

i appreciate your input, it helps to know that other people feel similar

April 7, 2007
8:51 am
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lollipop3
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Hi Cpt1212,

What you are talking about sounds like "transference" and is very, very common between client and therapist.

It can also happen the other way around between therapist and client. That is referred to as "counter-transference".

There is plenty of information out there for you to research, but the general definition of transference is....the process by which emotions and desires originally associated witht a significant person in the patients life, such as a parent, are unconsciously transferred to the therapist.

It is because of this common occurance that a lot of therapists reccommend seeing a same sex therapist....due to the fact that there are unethical therapists out there that would take advantage of this vulnerable situation.

I hope this helped.

Lolli

April 7, 2007
2:28 pm
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hopeful for change
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lolli that's the word I was looking for just was hearing about that recently.

April 7, 2007
2:38 pm
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Anonymous
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I´ve heard it´s common to fall in love with one´s therapist... so, nothing embarassing, but out of order cuz it can definitely create confusion and demand some extra attention to separate things. You´re doing a good thing to watch out for this in its early stage. Good luck.

April 7, 2007
9:11 pm
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revelation
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cpt, I think this is common, I have heard lots of people with concerns about it....the thing is just to stay honest with yourself. Listen to your gut...my feeling is though that you are going through a normal phase of relating with your therapist. but if its taking over TOO much time outside the therapists office, if its distracting you from other stuff...then it might be becoming a problem...other than that though, I'd just go with the flow on this! You are making a new friend...

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