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~Completely Conflicted~
July 4, 2007
3:12 pm
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BeautifulEyes4Him
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September 27, 2010
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Sad, you are completely right. How could i want to go back to that? I guess i'm just hoping that he'll hit his head or something and realize what he's missing. or maybe at the end of this four month seperation he'll just come back, unchanged, and continue to take advantage of my loyalty and giving heart. Then all that i've worked so hard for in the four months will come to a halt and fall away all so i can try to be good enough for him. I just can't stand this unknowing. What if i let go of him now and move on independently only for him to change or grow-up. Or maybe what he needs is for me to hurt him by letting go of him. He doesn't think i'll break up with him because i have always been so needy and he used to be such a good guy. What happened? Was it because we moved in with his Grandma in NY...she is soo pampering and babies him beyond belief. I think she got too involved in our relationship. But i guess everything happens for a reason. So the final question is: Should i tell him that i'm not going to hang on anymore, waiting for the four month seperation to be over and if i do how can i handle this pit in my stomach this desperate alone feeling, anxiety whatever you want to call it? I Love him so much but i can't stand this pain...

July 4, 2007
3:53 pm
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sad sack
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Hi Beautiful Eyes4him,

Before I say anything, I wanted to let you know that you do not need to create a different thread everytime you come here. You just have to write underneath the last post. This way people who read your thread can read it from the beginning. If you create a new thread everytime, they will have difficulty following your story. So, if you want to, you can retype what you wrote here in your original thread entitled " Eating away at my liveliness." (I think that was the name - pardon me if I am off by a word or two.) I will wait until you do that before I respond, so that others will be able to understand your story from the beginning.

I hope you are having a good 4th of July.

sad

July 4, 2007
3:57 pm
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BeautifulEyes4Him
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Anyone trying to follow the story please go to thread "Eating away at my Livelyness" thank you!

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