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Communication is key.
March 24, 2006
9:19 pm
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loverbee
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I think that sometimes our needs and wants get lost in our insecurities. So I am starting this thread to give everyone an opportunity to tell what they truly honestly want and can handle from this sight. i for instance am having body issues and need people to tell me everything is going to be ok. Some of you may need words of encouragement.Some a safe place to vent. Lets all take a moment to realize what we truly honestly want...leave the past behind and be straightforward. That way we can all get what we need.

March 24, 2006
9:29 pm
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taj64
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I agree. Something simple was told to me and sticks in my mind. Always move forward and not backward. I repeat this when I see myself slipping. I still slip because I know am not perfect and you know what? I don't want to be perfect because it is too hard to be perfect. Even people with perfect bodies find something wrong with them. What is sexy to you may not be sexy to someone else. Different flavors for different folks. Someout out there thinks you are perfect the way you are. Anyway of this encouraging to you?

March 24, 2006
9:29 pm
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lollipop3
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Loverbee,

I think this is a great idea for a thread.

I come to this site mainly as a safe place to vent while I work on my issues. I'm not always looking for an answer per se, but it does help me to talk about it and get other's perspectives while I figure out what to do.

I tend to relate more with people that give honest feedback but do so without being judgemental. I try to show empathy and compassion when giving feedback and appreciate when others treat me the same way.

I also like to come here to talk about my sucesses as well as my setbacks. And I like to come here to check in with some of the wonderful people and great friends that I have met on this site.

I have come to care about many of the people here and it gives me comfort to come here to share my thoughts and feelings and to help others when I can.

Thanks again loverbee.

Lolli

March 24, 2006
9:35 pm
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loverbee
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I am so glad that you have gotten what you need lolli. I have learned a lot about myself since I have been posting here. I think we need to bring this site back to its original purpose. Not to vent about eachother but talk about the support we all need. i hope we can get back to that.

Oh an Taj64-ever here the thing that goes "I am not looking for the perfect man he is looking for me." I thought maybe that is the kind of confidence you are referring to. šŸ™‚

March 24, 2006
9:35 pm
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That is a nice idea for a thread loverbee.

This site is great because it is a place to 'visit' where you can leave your entanglements and their demands and tend to the part of yourself that might need healing, advice or just company. It is great for privacy, for voicing things that you are holding in -until they are ready to come out. People hear help you learn how to talk about things, to ask for help, or even how to talk to yourself in a kinder way- or a way to keep things real.

I need to know sometimes that I am not the only person on the planet that goes through some things that I don't share anywhere else. I might "know" that in my head, but coming here and getting input, I really KNOW it. And that alone can be a big help. People taking the time to respond. That is wonderful in and of itself.

-ella

ps loverbee- i have body image problems and any thread you start on that would benefit me as well as you.

March 24, 2006
9:39 pm
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lollipop3
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((((Loverbee and Mzella)))).....you're both beautiful just the way you are.

March 24, 2006
9:41 pm
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loverbee
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Ella-had a bit of a nervous breakdown today about my body. Check out my thread about having horrible body issues. I struggle all the time with this and I am hoping that it invites anyone else who is having the same issue to talk. I sure could use the company cause sometimes I feel alone in this.

March 24, 2006
9:56 pm
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loverbee
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also one other thing I want to do in coming to this site is to forgive myself. There is so much I blame myself for and want to forgive myself for.

March 24, 2006
10:33 pm
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Anonymous
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I have been visiting this site since last June. I don't post too often, I mostly read and try to learn from everyone else. Since my recovery from an abusive relationship was an individual endeavor, (my family was uncomfortable with my going to therapy, and my friends were afraid of me changing), I have learned alot from the folks on this site. Polly

March 25, 2006
8:31 am
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eve
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I think I wouldn't be here if I truely knew what I need šŸ™‚

March 25, 2006
9:24 am
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loverbee
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Eve-I think you are right on but I think that maybe our needs change from day to day.

March 25, 2006
10:40 am
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kathygy
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loverbee,

" i for instance am having body issues and need people to tell me everything is going to be ok."

That is exactly what I mean about clear communcation. You are asking in a specific way exactly what you need.

It helps me a lot to know that you need people to tell you everything is going to be O.K. I will keep that in mind.

Kathy

March 25, 2006
11:09 am
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loverbee
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Thanks Kathy, it is clear that you are here to help people. The biggest problem I think is that some people come here and don't know exactly what they need. but rather than get angry at the advice given, i think it would be helpful to look at it and say something like, "wow, i thought I wanted advice, but I guess I am more sensitive than I thought. Could you say that in a more gentle way?" That way, no one will get thier feelings hurt. Today, I am beginning to believe that everything is going to be ok. Sometimes, it is just good to hear that there are people that want to support me. Thanks all. I appreciate it.

March 25, 2006
11:14 am
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loverbee
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However on the other hand, if someone says, you are hurting me by your tone in your posts, be gentle. Some need a hand to hold not brutal honesty. That doesn't mean you are wrong, but just be sensitive to those who are feeling a little sensitive and I think this could be good. However, I need something else right now. I am so lonely. I go to a different school than my bf and friends and they are all on spring break right now. I am trying to enjoy the time I have to myself but am feeling a little blue. Please tell me how to make this time go by fast.

March 25, 2006
12:53 pm
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mj
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Sorry to hear you are feeling blue. What are some things that you enjoy doing?

March 25, 2006
12:59 pm
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loverbee
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I have been cooking and taking lots of bubble baths and trying to study and watching animal planet, but I am still just a little lonely. It sucks feeling left out. All my friends are in NY and I never got to go.

March 25, 2006
1:06 pm
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mj
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It sounds like you are trying to enjoy your time without your friends. How long will they be gone?

March 25, 2006
2:28 pm
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loverbee
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A week. I have exams next week and am friends with some people in my classes but the school i go to is a commuter and everyone I know there works full time. So they can't hang out after classes usually. I guess it is starting to hit me that my friends aren't going to be here next year. They are all graduating and moving to real jobs. It just sucks.

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