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Committed to Getting Sober
April 5, 2005
6:25 pm
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D dog
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Saw my psychiatrist today, admitted major alcohol problem which contributes to my depression. Need to break free. Described severe anxiety, insomnia, etc. when I don't drink. He gave me Trazodone to take in the evenings, instead of drinking. Coupled with my morning Lexapro, he feels that this should do the trick (I'm thinking I'd better start praying, starting today it's gonna be quite a journey!)

Anyway, point of this thread is to thank all those who have given me support in this matter, and brought up alcohol issues - it has made me feel more normal and able to face the problem.

So thanks as always - here's to some sober discussions in the future!

P.S. Has anyone used Trazodone? Waiting for nightfall for first dose, curious...

April 5, 2005
6:29 pm
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D dog
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Currently indulging in a Kaliber (non-alcoholic ale-style brew, from the makers of Guinness).

I'm already going, "I can't feel my beer! I can't feel my beer!" - LOL! Oh, well...here we go!

April 5, 2005
6:53 pm
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Rasputin
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Hi DDog,

You rock! I would like to commend you for taking this difficult task of what Dr. Phil calls "Get Real." and what I call becoming "self-honest."

Unfortunately/Fortunately, I have no history of alcohol abuse in my family. I drink occasionally, but that's about it.

However, I can support you through my prayer, listening whenever I am available online, chat.

May the Lord bless you! You are such a sweet, honest, brave young lady and we will continue to back you up and cheer you on.XXXXXXXXX

April 5, 2005
7:11 pm
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D dog
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Thanks, Raz! Glad you're out there. I don't care if I have to slash my own tires - I am NOT going to the 711 tonight!

At least I can still chain smoke...LOL! Well, one thing at a time.

April 5, 2005
7:22 pm
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Rasputin
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Buy a daily devotional. I have many, I wish I could give you one. As a new Christian, you need to nourish your soul! Right?

April 5, 2005
7:26 pm
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D dog
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Yes! I am actually reading "Purpose Driven Life" at present. Chapter 27 has been particularly enlightening (skipped ahead for support!).

Get thee behind me satan...

Funny, got off work early today, normally I'd be buzzed by now, but instead have cleaned my kitchen and made my bed...the art of distraction, could be a good thing.

April 5, 2005
7:31 pm
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Rasputin
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U r making progress surely, moving from procrastination... remember last time? to decision making.

Good for you!!!!!!Braaaaaaaaaaavo

That book is excellent. If you can get a daily devotional to read 1st thing in the morning that would make you an upbeat and will give you a good start for the day.

April 5, 2005
7:37 pm
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D dog
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PDL website emails me one every morning, which I usually read, unless I am too hungover to focus on my screen! They're usually pretty inspirational...are there other, printed devotionals? Not familiar, don't even own a bible (yet).

April 5, 2005
7:42 pm
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Rasputin
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There is Charles Stanley and so many other Christian websites. I read Max lucado's devotional 1st thing when I wake up in the moring when my kitty wakes me up. It really motivates me and gives me a fresh start.

April 5, 2005
7:45 pm
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D dog
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Cool! Thanks, I'll check it out.....

April 5, 2005
7:59 pm
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Rasputin
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So here you go:

- intouch.org
- joycemeyer.org

The former is for Dr. Charles Stanley. He is a geat a dignified man of God.

I just checked out Joyce's site and found out an interesting book entitled "Addiction Approval" for people who try to get their approval from addiction. Do you think you might want to see/or purchase it to help you in your alcohol addiction?

April 5, 2005
8:06 pm
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D dog
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Trying to get approval from addiction? I never thought of it that way, but it sure sounds like me.

Will log on to the site...

April 5, 2005
10:36 pm
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D dog,
That's awesome that you're getting help. My ex bf went to the Dr. today & did the same thing. The Dr. gave him Ambien to help him sleep without having to drink & Xanax to calm him down during the day. He's so fidgety all the time and has trouble sitting still, and that's part of the reason he drinks so much. (Adult ADD? We're wondering.) Hopefully these meds will help him get through the first few weeks & then counseling can help him from there on out. Yes, I have taken Trazodone before & I didn't like it. Made me feel really weird & dizzy. You'll get through this. You'll be in my prayers tonight along with my ex!

April 5, 2005
11:45 pm
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D dog
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RG -

Thanks for the kind words! Just got back from dinner with my ex (Indian food - fabulous!), had 2 glasses of wine, but for me that's awesome, cuz up till yesterday I was a 1/2 fifth vodka or 2 bottles of wine a night drinker. Picked up some water on the way home and popped a Trazzi. We'll see how it flies.

I kind of like feeling weird and dizzy, so I'm committed to the meds. Plan to go totally drink-free 2morrow, not keeping it in the house anymore.

Thank you for your prayers, and let your ex know I am also on his side!!

:o)

April 6, 2005
12:01 am
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D dog
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Wow, 28 Days just started on Lifetime network.

How ironic!

April 6, 2005
12:21 am
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angel4U
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(((((((((((((((D Dog)))))))))))))))

These are the happiest words I heard all day!!! You know we are all out here routing for you, kiddo!!!

Go D, Go!!!!

You are still in my prayers, always!

Angel4U

April 6, 2005
11:35 am
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D dog
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Thanks, Angel!!

It's morning, and I don't have a hangover...though the meds made me a bit woozy - I just ran my coffee maker without putting actual coffee in the basket...LOL! The trazzi works, though, felt calm and relaxed and slept REALLY well - no waking up in the middle of the night to guzzle water (the classic!), and no nightmares.

And zero alcohol craving. Nice.

Day two! Movin' on...

April 6, 2005
1:43 pm
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RosyGirl
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D dog,
That's good that you only had 2 last night. I talked to C (my ex) last night after I wrote you. He said the Xanax did help him be less restless & he didn't even crave a beer. He even went to his friend's house last night & they were all drinking & he didn't have one! They were all shocked! I'm so proud of both of you. It takes a lot of courage to make those first steps.

Is your ex helping you through this? Are yall planning on getting back together? (I'm from the south - I refuse to say "you guys"!!) I told C I would be there for him as a friend while he deals with this and we've agreed to keep it that way. We both want to be back together, but our first priority is getting him back on the right track. We'll figure out "us" later, cuz I've got some issues of my own I need to work on too during this time.

Keep me updated on how it goes. This is day 2 for him also, so yall are in the same place right now.

Congrats on Day 2!!!!

April 6, 2005
1:50 pm
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D dog
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Hi RG -

My "ex" is actually STBX husband. Oddly enough, he has become a great friend. Thought about the "getting back together potential last night, but he has a GF who he is in love with right now, so I'm happy for him.

The object of my obsession is H...I love him, but he's "not ready for a relationship." So today I was like, wait a minute...how can I be so cool about STBX and not crave his prescence, but be so freaked out about H? What's up with that?

STBX is far more intelligent, and stable, and caring. Guess I crave H. because I am codependent, and still set on "fixing" him. Hmmm...quite a revelation, that! Need to work on this issue, and let go.

April 6, 2005
2:11 pm
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RosyGirl
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D Dog,
You sound a lot like me. We always look for men that are a challenge. By the way, what does STBX mean??? Separated? Anyway, you should read the thread I just posted about finding your gifts in life. Realizing that will hopefully get away from dating guys that need to be "fixed".

I don't know about you, but I seem to always date (or marry!) the exact same type of guys: come from broken homes, bad relationships w/fathers, substance abuse problems. I can't think of one guy I've dated (that I've really cared about anyway) who didn't fit that exact pattern. I was married for a year after we dated for 5 yrs. He had a problem with pot & wasn't motivated to do anything. I finally realized I had done all I could & decided I'd had enough. C (my ex bf) has a problem with alcohol, but he's really trying to work on it. I'm not gonna get my hopes up for us yet b/c it's still only day 2...

April 6, 2005
2:11 pm
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D dog
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Another word of advice for your ex (from experience!)

Do NOT mix the Xanax with alcohol. Did that with Klonopin last year and ended up in the hospital. Pretty funny, actually, I called STBX and he rushed over, I was all like, "I'm okay," and promptly lurched headfirst into my TV stand, bloodying my nose. He was all like, "F**k, dude!" - although he's English, so he probably said, "Bloody hell, mate!" He had to carry me down my stairs and take me to emergency.

Anyway, relapses are common, so if it happens, tell him to just ride it out, forgive himself, and resume Xanax the next day...

April 6, 2005
2:13 pm
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D dog
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STBX means "soon-to-be-ex". Yeah, seperated.

April 6, 2005
2:57 pm
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Yeah I did remind him about being sure not to drink with the Xanax. He's going to be in a really tough situation Thurs. b/c all his friends are going out to celebrate one guy's birthday. They'll be at a restaurant/bar, so it's gonna be hard for him, especially being around all them. He said something about taking a Xanax that afternoon so he would be less tempted to drink. I suggested that he take it earlier in the day than usual so not as much of it will be in his system. Then, he's got to eat when he gets there. He said he's gonna try to just have one or two beers and drink cokes in between. He seems really committed to changing & I'm hoping for the best, but we'll see...

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