Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Collecting lame ducks
December 16, 2003
1:39 pm
Avatar
unhappy camper
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ginger mentioned that.

Collecting lame ducks.

I do that.

It's an enlightening statement.

Makes me think, hard.

December 16, 2003
2:03 pm
Avatar
gingerleigh
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I didn't actually coin that phrase, Kessie did. 🙂 Whatcha thinking?

December 16, 2003
2:19 pm
Avatar
unhappy camper
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I try to make silk purses out of sow's ears...

Stupid sow's ears won't change...they hurt me and I hate them and love them....all mixed up feelings....

But I am detached from the control. At least that much. The pigs can't control me....they just disappoint you like crazy till it almost kills you.

Because you haven't closed the gate on your heart yet. It's not a nice thing to do. They can be as rotten as they wish, but I can't be.

It doesn't feel good to be mean to someone. You only do it out of retaliation.

December 16, 2003
3:32 pm
Avatar
gingerleigh
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

The opposite of love is not hate. Someone smart here said that once. The opposite of love is apathy, indifference, a true lack of concern. Sorry for your sadness today, UC.

December 16, 2003
3:49 pm
Avatar
unhappy camper
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

What is hate the opposite of then?

Even if he came back to me and did all I asked of him with therapy etc.....I'd still have a trouble maker on my hands. My life would be a roller coaster ride and fraught with anxiety and problems and frights....

He wouldn't make it any picnic...that's for sure.

My mind knows that. Thanks ginger.

How is your new hubby? Are you still glowing? 🙂

December 16, 2003
4:15 pm
Avatar
Kessie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

No - I didnt coin it either, a friend of mine said it of me. The trouble is, my latest lame duck seems to have collected ME!

December 16, 2003
4:53 pm
Avatar
gingerleigh
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Opposite of hate... detatchment? Maybe that's what MJ means when she says to "detach with love"... Or maybe it's acceptance, or joy, or peace...

I am anything but glowing these days. The holidays have me down, the rain up here in Seattle has me down, my cold has me down, I'm just a big puddle of blah these days it seems. Winter blues I guess. Feeling a bit lonely sometimes, but I find it even worse to go into social situations, because as soon as a social interaction starts with me and another person I right away want it to be over so that I can get back to being by myself. If it weren't for the groups I play in I wouldn't have any human interaction at all, I fear. It's probably OK, just my brain trying to tell me that I'm out of energy and need to be alone for a while to recharge.

I don't really have any close friends in real life. Sometimes I wonder what close friends talk about. I haven't had a best friend since high school, and she and I had a huge falling out in September. The blowup was my fault, kind of a long story, but let's just say that I was taking anti-depressants, got really drunk and out of control at her wedding reception, don't remember a stitch of it. Anti-depressants should not be mixed with alcohol, toxic combination. She wrote me an email the next day telling me what an awful person I was. We reconciled, but the venomn with which she attacked me just rocked my world, and I don't think I've been really the same since. Someone that has known me since childhood hit me where it hurt most. Some friend. She's tried to make amends, is really nice to me when I call, sends me cards every once in a while, but it just feels so fake to me, and ever since then, everyone else seems really fake to me too. I keep thinking that everyone else in the world is secretly thinking these mean thoughts just like she did and will wait for an opportunity to unleash them on me. I mean, if my best friend could do that, if that's the best friend that I could find, who else in the world could I trust if not her?

I trust my husband, but he is gone all the time getting ready for deployment, and starting in January he will be thousands of miles away. I find myself withdrawing from people, at least in my head. I'm still there, I'm still doing things, but to me everyone looks like a plastic mask, every phrase has a double meaning, and I don't trust anyone.

Work is frustrating, because you can't say what you really mean. "I'm really pissed" has to be turned into "I'm frustrated" and "He is being an asshole" has to be "He isn't quite bought into the process yet" and "He thinks he is smarter than everyone else" has to be "He hasn't finished transitioning his knowledge to the team"... And for me, someone who wants to call it like they see it so that it can be fixed, that just makes my head explode. My job is to be a PM, a diplomat, conflict resolver, stop the developers from killing the DBA's and stop the support folks from killing the call center people... when really all I'd like to do is send all of them to their rooms with no supper until they can learn to behave like adults. Waaaahhhh...

I come here to this site because it's a fresh breath of real-ness... it's not reality, but it's real because people are being who they are. No hidden agendas. No answers either. But it makes me feel connected, which perhaps is what I'm missing these days.

December 16, 2003
5:21 pm
Avatar
unhappy camper
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

No answers? Well, if you keep asking questions you get closer though. Like a child who keeps asking "why?" and you keep explaining it in more and more detail...until they reach the point where they are satified for the time being....or you burst a gasket and tell them to stop asking so many questions! LOL

When I married my husband, we met for the first time in real life...had the marriage certificate ready....it was amazing. Next to having my children, it was the most exciting thing...very wonderful.

But after the four days we had, signing marriage certificate first day, getting married on a covered bridge in a park in a tiny town in NYS by the Justice of the Peace...a lady, and her deputy as witness. Just us 4 people.

...then two days of honeymoon...and then goodbye for almost a year, each going home to their own country/city.

I cried all the way home...six hours drive. As soon as I got home we went online and talked and talked.

It was heartwrenching to say goodbye...but we looked forward to being together in the future.

(Too bad is went so sour.)

So, I know your blues. I know you have important things on your mind.
Also, being sick actually makes you depressed physically.

Just keep planning that big wedding.

Friends? I don't have any either. They let you down, get too personal, take up all your free time...for very little in return. That is how it is with me. I end up giving lots and getting little....

Now...why does THAT sound familiar?

LOL

love,
camper

December 16, 2003
5:39 pm
Avatar
mj
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

OK you guys....can I collect you as my friends 🙂

I enjoy both of you very much.
I think online friends are meaningful.

December 16, 2003
6:20 pm
Avatar
gingerleigh
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I agree, MJ!

December 16, 2003
6:26 pm
Avatar
mj
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

🙂
Remember GL, I am only about 6 hrs away !!!!

December 16, 2003
6:29 pm
Avatar
unhappy camper
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Count me in guys....

But I will be the quietest one for a while...

love to you's,
very unhappy camper

December 16, 2003
6:29 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

GL, you have three really good friends that I know of. xxoo. Crash any ole time, just ten minuets from LB airport. I think Alena is almost ready to face her flying fear.

Hate is still part of Love its emotional energy giving to that person. They still are in power, no ???? The opposite of love well I think that is fear. Detachment is good, there is no energy exchange there.
Just my theories, funny I spent some time with my sisters house guest this weekend, and the poor woman, doesn't have a clue at how much energy she is still giving to this guy she is "Over" every other sentence that came from her mouth involved him in some way. I doubt if she has a clue how much rage she is still giving to him. He is still controlling her life, no wonder she is exhausted. Anger, hate, are such strong emotions, and when you can think of how high you get on love, and lust, you can see the scales of anger, maybe. Its so heavy, no wonder when you break down some over weight people,with emotional eating disorders, it goes back to anger, or depression, which is repressed anger. Just some thought food for you to chew.

December 16, 2003
7:32 pm
Avatar
gingerleigh
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

*smile* Molly, how ya be, toots?

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
49
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110959
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38560
Posts: 714252
Newest Members:
charli55, SeaG1ant, shawncanwe, lianot, dagaf, duminy
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information