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Codependents support group 2
September 26, 1999
3:02 pm
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askme
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cynical you are nieve some. An abuse does not show his abuse till after the ties. If you come from a family of high values and god you attempt to do all you can to keep the marriage . This is the plague . You give all you can to marriage . With his manipulations and in time he will slowly beat you down and before you know it the finacial end is keeping you there also. They are manipulators first its self esteem and taking away friend then it finacial. It happens to all. DR. Lawyers from one spectrum to other. NO ONE is safe. THere are some that are more vulnerable than others. Especially if one grows up in a family as such and feel its ok to have one almighty in family. THe boss controler. Abuse of any kind deteriotes the self esteem. If you wish to learn read about co- dependency and learn . You may open your eyes.... Take care .. And remember to judge only allow you to be judge..

September 26, 1999
4:20 pm
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cynical
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Ther is no such thing as co dependency. It's fine that Once you are deep into the relationship all the bad mannerisms come out, but once they do come out, what do you do about it? I have been in terrible relationships many times in the past, but now I'm not anymore. That's why I cant understand why would someone put up with crap day in and day out. Once the someone repeatedly puts you down, why stay? Why deal with it? Just because it is hard to leave, doenst mean you should stay because of the pain. The pain eventually goes away. I have no problem with someone judging me in fact I welcome it because oftentimes it helps me to see myself as others perceive me, and that can be good sometimes. To me it helps me to improve myself. I look at it as constructive criticism.

September 26, 1999
5:46 pm
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searching
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Cynical,

You are right on the surface of it. Don't let people hurt you is quite appropriate. But for me what happens SOMETIMES, not most of the time, but SOMETIMES, there's UNRESOLVED STUFF from when I was very young that gets brought up in these situations. My pain is from when I was young and it gets all mixed up unfortunately with the present. I have to work it out in a SAFE forum like this to see it clearly. Its not the person right now that is the problem (yes, just leave the SOB) but the other stuff from the past that gets in the way. From talking here and in other SAFE places I realize what I am doing, get it out of my system and MOVE ON. Its not dumb or smart, it just is.

Whether that is codependent or not, I don't care. It works well for me. I am better and happier for it. I simply do better faster. That is I think is smart.

September 26, 1999
7:26 pm
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KTHOMAS
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I did get out of my bad marriages. This is my third. There has to be something to codependency when we are attracted to the same type of man over and over. We are fixers. Maybe we can change this person...God knows we do what we can to change ourselves. Unless you can walk a mile in someone elses shoes please do not put them down or lable them. I feel sorry for cynical....with out compassion and sympathy we become hardened. And when we harden our hearts to others we are really hardening our hearts to deep emotions and hurts that we have burried inside. My pain comes from when I was a child. Being molested at the age of four and telling your father (your hero) and he doesn't believe it because this man is a friend of his...leads you to unhealthy thinking when it comes to your relationships with men as an adult. I am a successful carrier woman and luckily for me this time (wasn't always so) I can pay my own way and not stay in my bad relationship to survive. But there was a time that I did stay. I had two small children to take care of and there was no way I could make it on my own. There is truth to being trapped. Welfare is a joke...it doesn't pay the rent let alone feed your family and if you try to find work...day care eats your money up fast. And then there is the fear of being alone. That is a big one. Sometimes even a bad relationship is better then none. The nights are are long. It's been a month for me and even though I know Tim (my husband) is a liar and has a major alcohol problem...when things were good between us they were very good. And there are times when I forget the bad and just want to be held in his arms. We all want to be loved. It's human nature. And we are all just human after all.

September 26, 1999
7:29 pm
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KTHOMAS
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tears....where are you?

September 26, 1999
9:52 pm
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Yes and so have i. However the courts set you up for awhile to continue to live in such a situation till there is resolution from it . Being told you have to wait 9mth is not right. Its amazing what you have to endure to prove a case. Cynical what would you do if you had no family , no money to support you, love your kids dearly and know he had all money in world to hurt you. You didnt have a dime to fight it. Would you leave the situation to end up no house food or shelter to have him bring you to court to take every last breath your kids. No support no where Really stop and think about it. Put yourself in that place. Its a very vulnerable position. Can you allow yourself to be vulnerable. Hugs to you cynical cause i see hurt in you. Do you rise above yourself when you cut others down in order to feel good wonderful. Laugh it off or being smug. Hmmm The Hurt must be deep to do such a feat. Careful you may come to see your inner self. Welcome cynical.. Come join us . Hugs to you.. Your right were you belong.

September 26, 1999
11:35 pm
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KTHOMAS
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Hey askme how are you doing??? Tonight I just said good-bye to my 22 yr old son and his girlfriend. They have the u-haul packed and are headed to mississippi. We live in a little town in n. ca. How I will miss him. Hardest thing to do is let your children go. My daughter who is 24 yrs old lives in the bay area (San Fransisco area). Five hours away. My family (sibblings only as our parents are deceased) live in San Diego and turned their backs on me a very long time ago. So I am feeling alone. Of course my nine year old is still with me. He is the light of my life. But it's so hard on him losing people he loves. Kids are such victims. I wish I could make it easier for him. So...it's just the two of us now. 🙂 Maybe when I finally get in to see this new counselor she can recommend something or counseling to help him. Lord knows with a mentally handicaped father and now another man (his step-dad) leaving him and his brother moving away...the kid could sure use some help. I just want to make everything okay for him. 🙁 Nothing is ever easy is it. And it's already another work week. It's tough making it through the week. Holding it together and being strong. Deep breath girl and I must remember my own advise...one day at a time. 🙂 Bless you all...I am really enjoying this group. What did I ever do without you all. 🙂

September 27, 1999
8:08 am
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ruya
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gawd,
we're having fireworks! i wish we all take CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. no bad jokes, bad vibes to ANYONE via internet.Please!! we are here to voice our feelings, our views and we'll do so amicably with the PRIOR CRITERION that each will RESPECT each other's view even if they don't agree. i believe that these views are reached by us based on our own experiences and we do believe strongly in what we feel. we have to be open to others so that this is included in our experience, our data updated and our views upgraded. women are strong and strength is might and we have to use this to our advantage. sometimes we slip but every slip i guess can add to our strength and in a group like this i think the process is speeded up and guided by all of us!! hip hip hurray to all of us. be cheerful.
ruya.

September 27, 1999
8:45 pm
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askme
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HUGS to you KT i know the feeling well. Its much easier to ignore it than adress it especially when there in another state. Its so sad what we do to our love ones. Ofter our kids go off on us because we are the safe ones. And we need to relize it. Its a out and you need to think or try to get them to vent it another way than allowing them to take it out on you. Its very hard not to have immediate family there to support you. Hang in there. IM here for you! When every your lonely and need someone to talk to im here. Things are getting better ive come to relize i have to stay here for 9 mths and have him slap in my face each and every day but im ready for divorce just want it done now.. The sooner the better. Many professional people i know tell me that i will fly.. Many co dependent do . There very intelligent and live life to fullest once out. I also feel so much hurt when he hurts the kids. I no longer take his hits. And make him responsible for himself. I cant make him pay groceries and other stuff. Today 2 my girls had birthday. He told them hes not buying them nothing cause i bought them enough. What a sad father. My second just said he better get me something . I address her by telling her that she cant control what others do but i understand shes hurting and i assured her its not her fault. And how much she is loved. Just kills me to see there hurt. But im not covering for what he does anymore. He has to pay consequenses. He tried to tell me he has a right to know where his kida are going with me > Almost yelling at me " I have a right to know where my kids are going" I steadily and assuridly told him that he does not. IM not married to him and my capiblities and safety for my kids is not a issue never been so he has no right. We are divorced. As long as you know with me no problem . He stomped off to basement end story . Getting stronger but wish i could go to support group tonight. My husband told my friend that called told her i was at anuts meeting. Hes such a jerk. Well all is going ok.. You all take care ill be around. We will make it! HANG IN THERE AND HUGS TO YOU ALL>

September 27, 1999
9:42 pm
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KTHOMAS
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One day at a time...I already miss my son. My husband is calling to make sure I'm okay. He can be so sweet at times. Can almost make me forget the lies and hurts he's heaped on me. But I do feel weak. I almost want to ask him to come home. Man...I hope I can stay strong. But it gets so lonely and it sure does feel good to be held. I know he loves me as much as he can love anyone...he needs help too. He wants to go with me to my counseling appointment. Do I let him go???? Maybe he'll be able to face his drinking problems and understand why it effects me like it does. It's all so confusing.

September 28, 1999
12:46 pm
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No, you go on your own kthomas. You do not need to share tihs with him, he could use his knowledge of your intimate therapy stuff against you and mess you up further.
YOu need to look at the loneliness and feelings that you suffer from before you want to indulge in your drug, just as i told lost soul in the previous post.
OUr men, are our drugs. What are you feeling that makes you want to indulge again? Loneliness seems to come up a lot in your posts, which is understandable honey. Feel this, write about it in your journal, really feel it, confront it and challenge it. Then change your life to change this feeling. If you no longer have these negative feelings overwhelming you you will no longer have relationships with me who mistreat you (sure hes nice some of the time otherwise it would be easier to leave wouldnt it) dont deny the bad and the pain. You do not need this.
When you face the loneliness you may find that you do not love yourself. This is common udnerlying theme with women who love too much and "loneliness" YOu see you did not get that love you needed and deserved as a child nor as an adult. YOu are looking for what scraps this man can give you but YOU need to give full love to you as god loves you. Blessins

September 28, 1999
11:41 pm
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if it helps to anyone out there, it can be very different. it happened to me after 15 years of abuse and multiple side affects that have left me disabled. but i am alive and in the first healthy relationship in my life. I still have to check myself daily for signs of what got me there in the first place I will never be cured of being a person that allowed abuse in my life but, i am trying very hard to learn and guard myself of what triggers it in my life... it is an hourly job.

September 28, 1999
11:43 pm
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Bless you Kelster.

September 28, 1999
11:53 pm
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KTHOMAS
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Thanks tears...your words bring me so much comfort right now. I don't have to worry about his going to counseling with me now...he's in jail. He got busted selling drugs. (Meth). Like I need that in my life! Sounds like he'll be gone for a very long time. He was arressted last night. He's already called (collect) twice tonight. I need to just not accept his calls. I'm not bailing him out...it's way too much anyways. He sold our beautiful RV for the drugs he was selling. The sixth of Oct. is getting closer...not close enough yet but closer. And you are right...I do not like myself to much. And I need to learn to love me...that is why i believe I have a hard time with anger...rage to be exact. Not directed at my children (I'm no abuser) but at myself. Sometimes I have thought (quite often really) that if it weren't for my kids I would just check out of this world and end it. I even had a plan...but God gave me my children for a purpose. And when it came down to it I knew I could never do that to them. Not what they need. They need a strong parent. And none of their father's are healthy support systems. So it falls on my shoulders. Since they do not have Grandparents...I am the link to hold it all together. I never show them my weakness...parents should never rely on their kids that way...you know what I mean??? My son is acting out in school (my nine yr old). His teacher called me at work today. I need to get him some help too. I do miss my older son...and yet I know it was time to let him go. Growing is such a painful process isn't it.??? Right now I feel so selfish because all I ever do is talk about myself and my problems. When others share and give such beautiful support. Forgive me. I know that I am not the only one hurting and I don't ever want to ignore anyone elses needs. Like you tears...I'm sorry we wore you down. I am quilty of leaning on your words of wisdom and support. And I just want to give to you as you give to others. God Bless you tears.

September 29, 1999
8:38 am
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hi kt,
don't feel bad about being selfish here, it is the one place maost of us can just let it all out, we all need that it is a human right, not a failing.
You have had a tough time with you husband and all, but now fate/God? has chosen a new twist in your story, you can now concentrate on you and your kids, these are both things worth investing in.
You do have to be strong right now, so as your son understands what is happening with his daddy is not his fault, i dont think he is too young to understand and i think it will help him if you explain what has happened, why his dad has had to go away, and let him ask yo any questions he needs to.
You no longer have a chouce of having him in your life, somehow, i think, having the loneliness enforced on you makes it easier to just get on and deal with it, you wont be able to torture yourself with thinking that maybe things could be different. You will get through it. Hugs to you at this time, i know where you are at but it will get easier.
Take care
Hazza

September 29, 1999
12:24 pm
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kt your considering my feelings was special thankyou, but no one does anything to me it is I who stretches myself at times at the expense of my own needs. I take full responsibility for that. as far as your husband is concerned, I do believe that is is a blessing in disguise for both you and your husband. Let him sit there and think about everything. Let this be the catalyst for YOUR healing (hopefully it will be for him to but this is not your worry any more) you need to be selfish and focus on your needs and that of your son. Perhaps you can have your son attend some counselling at school. It is sad that he has been through such trauma. Better yet, spend quality time with your son, show him how much you love him. Choose this time to really draw close to him. Take him to the zoo, horseback riding, movies whatever. If he has particular interests, take interest in them also and perhaps buy him supplies for such. Blessings

September 30, 1999
12:27 am
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KTHOMAS
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Hi Hazza and Tears...thank you again. Tim calls me from jail every night so far...I can't say no yet. He needs things like his glasses to see, information...and all of a sudden I have this sense of not wanting him to feel deserted in there. I am still going to counseling and I am going to visit him tomorrow night. (Visiting is only one night a week). It looks like this will be a second strike for him so he's facing state time, so...soon he will not be in the same area and maybe then I can let go. I did tell my son about his dad. I couldn't tell him it was drugs because of what drugs did to his real father. I don't know why I feel the need to protect Tim still. He knows he blew it and of course he is "so sorry". I am going to the book store this weekend and picking up some of the books you have recommended tears. I know I need to back away from Tim and pull into myself...and my son...and we are going to an amusement park next weekend. 🙂 that'll be loads of fun. I need to just have a real honest fun day. And God forgive me but I am so relieved that Tim is in jail and that I no longer have to worry about him killing himself or someone else while driving drunk. He's safe there if you know what I mean. And again forgive me but the longer he's in there the better. For me.

September 30, 1999
2:22 am
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Amen.

September 30, 1999
12:06 pm
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confused mom of 3
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WOW , THIS IS MY LIFE . I HAVE TO SAY THAT I DONT AGREE WITH CYNICAL THIS SEEMS TO BE A PLACE WHERE ALOT OF PEOPLE ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THINGS FEELINGS ,PAINS ,CONFUSION ,AND IF ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE EXPERIENCING THE SAME FEELINGS .... THAN IT IS REAL.....SOCIETY HAS NAMED IT ,BUT ITS OBVIOUSLY REAL!
I SHOULDNT JUST POP ON HERE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND SPOUT OFF LIKE THAT ,BUT I DONT THINK ANYONE WHO HASNT BEEN IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS HAS NO UNDERSTANDING OF IT!
ITS A PROVEN FACT THAT DURING WAR PRISONERS ARE
BRAINWASHED AND A LIFE WITH AN ADDICT IS BRAIN WASHING AT ITS BEST

September 30, 1999
12:43 pm
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confused mom of 3
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HI EVERYONE SORRY ABOUT THAT ,BUT I WANTED TO GET THAT IN BEFORE I GOT BOOTED AGAIN . I CAME HERE BECAUSE I HAVE BECOME SO UNCERTAIN OF MY OWN ABILITIES TO MAKE THERIGHT CHOICES IN MY LIFE-THIS TOO IS AIS ALSO A DIRECT RESULT OF BEING IN AN EMOTIONALLY DEAD WORLD! AS TIME PASSES IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU START TO BECOME JUST LIKE THE PERSON OR SURROUNDINGS IN WHICH YOU LIVE,THIS IS ONLY HUMAN NATURE ,THINK ABOUT IT.....
HOW DO CHILDREN LEARN TO SPEAK? THEY COPY ....... SO -WE ALL BEING HUMANLEARN TO BELIEVE THAT WE ARE WHAT THEY TELL US WE ARE STUPID,UGLY FAT,WORTHLESS OR WHAT EVER WORD YOUR ABUSER TELLS YOU OVER....AND OVER
UNTIL YOU BELIEVE IT IN YOUR MIND EVEN IF YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART THAT YOU ARE NOT THESE THINGS , AND UNTIL WE SEE THAT FOR OURSELVES THERE IS NO GETTING OUT!
I HAVE BEEN IN AN ALCOHOLIC MARRIAGE FOR10 YEARS ,FIRST THINKING WHAT MANY OF YOU HAVE THOUGHT ---
IF I COULD JUST SHOW HIM/HER ALL THE LOVE I HAVE I CAN MAKE HIM HAPPY AND HE WILL LOVE TOO! THE SAD TRUTH IS THAT WE CANTMAKE THEM HAPPY AND ADMITTING THAT WE CANT
IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS TO DO!! I KNOW IVE BEEN THERE TOO!AS FOR CYNICAL ALL PEOPLE IN THESE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE LOVING PEOPLE AND GET IN THIS WANTING TO GIVE LOVE AS WELL AS GET IT IN RETURN EVENTUALLY HOPING TO HELP AND SAVE SOMEONE ,WHICH REALLY ISNT A BAD THING BUT WHATS BAD ABOUT IT IS THAT IN TRYING TO DO THAT WE LOOSE SITE OF OURSELVES AND OUR OWN WANTS AND NEEDS
WE ALMOST BECOME OBCESSED WITH MAKING THIS PERSON SEE LOVE .
WHICH REALLY BECOMES UNHEALTHY FOR US!
IM NOT CRAZY OR STUPID AND I REALLY DONT INDERSTAND HOW OR WHY I GOT MYSELF INTO THIS ,BUT AT THIS POINT THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS TRY TO FIND A WAY TO GET
MYSELF OUT OF IT EMOTIONALLY!
I USEDTO LOOK AT PEOPLE IN PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS AND WONDER ...WHY DONT THEY JUST LEAVE ..THE SIMPLE TRUTH IS ITS NOT THAT EASY!!!!
THERE ARE ALL SORTS OF CIRCUMSTANCES THAT PLAY INTO WHY PEOPLE STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS ,BUT THE BIGGEST COMMON FACTOR IS .......WE.....ARE ....HUMAN!
WELL IM AT APOINT WHERE IVE LOST MY HOME KICKED HIM OUT ,LET HIM BACK IN AND NOW I DONT EVEN THINK I LIKE HIM
SO IF ANYONE HAS ANY FEEDBACK I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO HEAR IT.... NO OFFENCE TO CYNICAL -YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPIONS BUT I NEED SUPPORT NOT ONE MORE PERSON IN MY LIFE TO TELL ME THATS ITS ALL MY FAULT!

September 30, 1999
12:43 pm
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confused mom of 3
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HI EVERYONE SORRY ABOUT THAT ,BUT I WANTED TO GET THAT IN BEFORE I GOT BOOTED AGAIN . I CAME HERE BECAUSE I HAVE BECOME SO UNCERTAIN OF MY OWN ABILITIES TO MAKE THERIGHT CHOICES IN MY LIFE-THIS TOO IS AIS ALSO A DIRECT RESULT OF BEING IN AN EMOTIONALLY DEAD WORLD! AS TIME PASSES IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU START TO BECOME JUST LIKE THE PERSON OR SURROUNDINGS IN WHICH YOU LIVE,THIS IS ONLY HUMAN NATURE ,THINK ABOUT IT.....
HOW DO CHILDREN LEARN TO SPEAK? THEY COPY ....... SO -WE ALL BEING HUMANLEARN TO BELIEVE THAT WE ARE WHAT THEY TELL US WE ARE STUPID,UGLY FAT,WORTHLESS OR WHAT EVER WORD YOUR ABUSER TELLS YOU OVER....AND OVER
UNTIL YOU BELIEVE IT IN YOUR MIND EVEN IF YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART THAT YOU ARE NOT THESE THINGS , AND UNTIL WE SEE THAT FOR OURSELVES THERE IS NO GETTING OUT!
I HAVE BEEN IN AN ALCOHOLIC MARRIAGE FOR10 YEARS ,FIRST THINKING WHAT MANY OF YOU HAVE THOUGHT ---
IF I COULD JUST SHOW HIM/HER ALL THE LOVE I HAVE I CAN MAKE HIM HAPPY AND HE WILL LOVE TOO! THE SAD TRUTH IS THAT WE CANTMAKE THEM HAPPY AND ADMITTING THAT WE CANT
IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS TO DO!! I KNOW IVE BEEN THERE TOO!AS FOR CYNICAL ALL PEOPLE IN THESE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE LOVING PEOPLE AND GET IN THIS WANTING TO GIVE LOVE AS WELL AS GET IT IN RETURN EVENTUALLY HOPING TO HELP AND SAVE SOMEONE ,WHICH REALLY ISNT A BAD THING BUT WHATS BAD ABOUT IT IS THAT IN TRYING TO DO THAT WE LOOSE SITE OF OURSELVES AND OUR OWN WANTS AND NEEDS
WE ALMOST BECOME OBCESSED WITH MAKING THIS PERSON SEE LOVE .
WHICH REALLY BECOMES UNHEALTHY FOR US!
IM NOT CRAZY OR STUPID AND I REALLY DONT INDERSTAND HOW OR WHY I GOT MYSELF INTO THIS ,BUT AT THIS POINT THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS TRY TO FIND A WAY TO GET
MYSELF OUT OF IT EMOTIONALLY!
I USEDTO LOOK AT PEOPLE IN PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS AND WONDER ...WHY DONT THEY JUST LEAVE ..THE SIMPLE TRUTH IS ITS NOT THAT EASY!!!!
THERE ARE ALL SORTS OF CIRCUMSTANCES THAT PLAY INTO WHY PEOPLE STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS ,BUT THE BIGGEST COMMON FACTOR IS .......WE.....ARE ....HUMAN!
WELL IM AT APOINT WHERE IVE LOST MY HOME KICKED HIM OUT ,LET HIM BACK IN AND NOW I DONT EVEN THINK I LIKE HIM
SO IF ANYONE HAS ANY FEEDBACK I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO HEAR IT.... NO OFFENCE TO CYNICAL -YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPIONS BUT I NEED SUPPORT NOT ONE MORE PERSON IN MY LIFE TO TELL ME THATS ITS ALL MY FAULT!

September 30, 1999
9:42 pm
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askme
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Hello all.. Im having a horrid night. Hes not helping with groceries. Kids skating. Kids lunches, clothes, telling them to go get it from your mom. I dont have it. He paid electric and said automobile insurance. Cable something ? .Ive been paying kids birtday presents another pair pants for younger ones.. have uniforms so make 2 pair pants while its getting cold out. they need many more clothes and i dont know how im going to handle it .. All my money has gone to kids lunches , school event , clothes birthday gifts, gas to get to events.. my lawyer telling me not to pay rent to house its going to be his. But im suppose to stay in this house under this circumstance. My husband said if you dont i got ways around that also and you will pay for it. I already pay out my check health insurance. Im so scared. Really scared. Hes going to hurt me and i have noone. No one to give me helping hand if i have no money. What he will use against me will be my kids if i dont pay there stuff they wont get to go. Want to do what lawyer says but this is so stressful. Tonight he blamed me for him cheating on me again . Said my fault. I said bull you crossed the marriage line. And he said i know cause i didnt care. I still hurt really bad inside . I told him if he has question to ask my lawyer. Thats what lawyer said im not to talk to him. What you guys thought on this.

October 1, 1999
12:50 am
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KTHOMAS
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This must be the night for all hell to break loose. I couldn't visit Tim at jail tonight. The elevator broke and so visitation was cancelled. So he calls me and says he's been talking to some bail bondsman. (His bail is at $57,500 now). Wants me to put up $2000 and the pink slips to his car (the one he traded our rv for) and my car!!!! Of course I said no...I know he will just run and then I will be left holding the bag. He said thanks for the trust...now all of the sudden it's my fault again. Even his friends are telling me to get him out even if he runs cause he's facing eight years in state prison. And it will make him even worse then he is...what is all this quilt being laid on me for....I am at an extreme low. Sorry to everyone for not being uplifting tonight. Sounds like life is just plain hell...and even though I know God is there...I know this in my head...my heart and soul are a million miles away from his comfort and peace tonight. I'm not feeling so strong and hopeful tonight. Where is my rainbow God???? How much more must I endure...I am so tired...so very tired. Beaten and wore. I want to give up so much....run away...but my son...but I just need a break. I'm so tired...help me god...help me.

October 1, 1999
10:12 am
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lost soul
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i think tonight is a bad night for everybody(30 sep).Me too.My husband told me that he is going out.I asked him to come back early.As usually,my body "alarm clock" woke me up at 2.00am.I woke up, called him,asking him why is he not back yet? He said he is on his way.when he came back, is about 3.30am. he was high ( looks like drunk & pills) the moment he came home,trouser amost drop.pathetic stage.Pager lots of memories. By the way till today I don't have his pager number.silly right?
What have i done to deserve going through these.he normally wears jeans to work but looks like he has planed for tonight.Well dressed.
I really curse and swear.he has totally changed to a stranger to me.he never do "pills", never like to drink.Feel so sick!

October 1, 1999
2:28 pm
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askme
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this is only getting worse. He stole my travelors checks. That was from my paycheck. I have no money now. No way pay nothing. He stole them all from my vehicle had hidden in there and in my fathers jacket i held since he died.. Was shriners jacket. Where is the justice. Making me live here in violation chaos and kids too. Hes gotten his control back like he likes it. And told me its going to get nasty. Tell me theres light at end of tunnel cause im not seeing any. This is horriddd.. Now kid wont beable to do things ,, they will suffer need clothes, cant go to job without gas, i cant pay electric gas ect. Someone tell me how im going to be protected?????????

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