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codependent or real life..
November 6, 2011
9:26 am
Forum Posts: 13
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
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Met her about four months ago.. I have all the symptoms of being codependent.  I dont trust because maybe she is always texting on the phone.  Always making plans in advance to meet one of her four guys out to drink.. I trust her.  She has drank every day, and night since I have been with her, but never really drunik, maybe a little buzzed.  Always wanting me to drink.  I hate driniking!  My mother drank all of my younger years.. 0- 17.  Yes she does what my mother did..  But, she is very kind.  Manipulating at times, I see some control.  She is 36, hates her job, and wants to have kids.  I CANT, and will not do this with her.. I feel very scared, and know it will just get worse.  I also know that I would end up doing everything, like cleaning, and taking care of the kids.  I am not going to though.  Question... Do you think because she is kind, that it would work.  I feel at times that she is kind, because I am being set up.. bying beer etc.  Am I really co- dependent, or do my trust issues stem from her always.. texting, and staring at guys when we go out..  My alert moments.. knowing she is setting up plans with her guy friends to go out and drink?  One guy she has already slept with a year back..So I have the characteristics, but all for a reason.... Thank You....

November 9, 2011
11:02 pm
Forum Posts: 572
Member Since:
February 9, 2011
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Is she your girlfriend?. Maybe you are really carrying the symptoms of being codependent but it's not too late to get some help and be treated. Codependency and trust issues usually go together so never wonder why you are behaving that way towards her. Kindness is not just enough to decide staying on something/someone you've hold on to for quite some time. Acceptance and understanding should always be on top so if you have fears or anything then maybe it's time to tell her your condition. If she's willing to accept and understand what you are going through then her kindness is indeed for real.Try to consult a counselor about your condition as that will help you how to deal and cope with it.


Wishing you well.

November 10, 2011
11:55 am
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
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Check into your local CODA meetings (free support groups for recovering codependents).  This might help you...hearing others' relationship stories and struggles.  Knowing we are not alone helps alot.

And remember that we CAN recover from codependency.  Took me therapy, support group work and alot of years spent, learning to be alone before I could trust myself to make healthier choices.  But we CAN do it.

-  Ma Strong

November 13, 2011
6:06 am
Forum Posts: 13
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I talked to my counselor the other day, and he told me I keep meeting the same type of girl, then always feel bad, because they drink too much and dis respect me..  when I first had sex with her she told me that she had a sex buddy, because she is very horny, and she has her needs also.  This thing about her staring at other people is humiliating, and embarrassing.. I would never do that to her.  I dont drink, I just want a simple life where somebody just wants me, and will be with just me..

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