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Codependent of BPD?
October 17, 2004
9:04 am
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hook
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Recently divorced I attempted to get back with my ex-wife. I took all the blame for the divorce due to being a drunk and started getting help through the church and meetings. She began letting me back but abruptly jumped into relations with an old friend when I had to travel out of town due to my daughter. Within days she went from telling me how much she loved me to staying with him and reminding me how sorry of a husband and stepfather I was. Heartbroken, I went back to our marriage counselor for a session and she informed me in addition to my dependency, she believed she had "borderline personality disorder" (BPD). She read me the symptons and it clicked. Even tough I had problems with my own dependencies, I believe I became codependent to someone who had a history of BPD. With her there was always elation followed by dispair. I was never good enough to her each day. There was never any consistency and my resentment was verbally harsh to her and sometimes her sons. My business travel caused intense anger and insecurity of which my previous single life kept being brought up.

Is there any help for me as I struggle with sobriety, the guilt of causing a failed marriage and family while dealing with the two years of rejection from someone who has BPD. I continue to love her deeply and have not gone on with my life. When in a crowd or at a party, I have nothing inside to contribute to social interaction. All I think about is her and now someone with her. I don't remember a good night sleep.

Can one be codepenpent of BPD?

October 17, 2004
12:46 pm
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CAMER
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hi hook, does she take any meds for her BPD?? cuz maybe that will keep her seratonin level of there thoughts in order. As for you, keep getting all the help you need for your sobriety, and if she works on herself and you work on yourself, maybe things will change for the better. The past is the past, and you may have made mistakes, but she too had her "mood swings"...if you start fresh, maybe new possibilities will be there for both of you.

October 17, 2004
2:13 pm
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Cici
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you can be codependent to anyone suffering from a problem so severe that it makes it impossible for them to reciprocate the same level of emotional investment.

The issue, whether it be alcoholism, or mental or physical abuse (or both), or drug addiction, or borderline personality disorder, is that you devote yourself selflessly to someone who is emotionally unavailable for whatever reason.

have you read up on any co-d stuff? it may help....

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