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codependency labels so many feminine traits and makes us think were sick
February 20, 2007
1:38 pm
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eurogurl
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I dont know about you, but psych society likes to try and put a lot of labels on women , bpd, ( mostly applied to women ) codependency, i think this is reckless and victimising

February 20, 2007
1:49 pm
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on my way
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That is why we have to stay aware, educated, and take it with a grain of salt. The psych society ....some help, some victimize, I agree. Important to treat the whole person, spirit, soul, heart and head.

February 20, 2007
1:59 pm
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southgoingzax
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I don't like the label "codependent", because most of those traits are something that all people have, to some degree. I don't think it needs to be treated like a disease or like there's something wrong with us per se, only if there are persistent unhealthy behaviors. I do think it is blaming or victimising ourselves to say there is something wrong with us because we're codependent (depending on your definition of that word). Maybe it's everyone who's screwed up.

zax

February 20, 2007
2:11 pm
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Sakti
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Moving away from a labeling. I'm a drug addict(recovering) and a couple of years ago it was brought to my attention that by saying in a meeting; "I'm an addict name is Sakti" it was um...affirming to my spirit that was only who I was. Now I say in meetings; "My name is Sakti and I suffer from the disease of addiction."

Blessings!

February 20, 2007
2:19 pm
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doubleloss
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from what i've learnt codependency is a "normal" trait in all humans because we all depend on each other. I agree with zax that when certain behavious are out of control then it might be problematic. Balance is the key and sometimes it's very hard to regain it. But the actual label sucks.

Sakti, I really like your posting it's something I've thought about and discussed several times w/my xbf who is a recovered alcoholic. the affirmation of I'm an alchoholic/drug addict/codependant/ or whatever must get etched in the psychy somehow and addicted or not everyone is way more than their disease.

February 20, 2007
3:45 pm
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Rasputin
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It it NOT only a feminine thing. I believe it is a Global Epidemic spread worldwide!

In some cultures it is more prevalent...esp sophisticated culutures...I find that it tends to be more prominent in early childhood. I also observed that it can be taught at a very early age. You see a child imatating his mom who is "people pleaser" and if the child does like his mom, he gets applauded and ranked a "smart kid." If he doesn't...he gets labelled as foolish kid. By the time he becomes adult, he has so many codep traits.

In addition, it happens so often in families where emotions are NOT allowed to be expressed. For instance, when a child is angry or upset, naturally he/she is supposed to cry. Quite often the parent/caretaker would restrict him/her from crying.

For the boy, they say: You are a man, men don't cry. Thus, when he gets older, he learns to suppress his negative emotions which is unhealthy.

EVEN we women, the fair sex have lost our femininity and became self-conscious and we REALLY have to hide when we want to cry lest someone sees us.

When we smile and laugh, this is an acceptable emotion.

The truth of the matter is Crying, shedding tears, and weeping are very healthy and release so much stress and pain with it.

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