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Co dependent relationship?
August 19, 2005
4:59 pm
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peacenik
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September 30, 2010
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Hi all. I am new to this message board. So be gentle. LOL

Anyway, I need some feedback on a relationship that I am currently involved in..

Background: I am a recent widow. My husband passed away 10 months ago. I ventured out into the dating scene 2 months ago with no intention of getting seriously involved with anyone.

Well, on my 3rd "coffee date" off of an internet dating site, I met this gentleman that I felt an immediate "chemical" attraction towards; everything about him, his physical appearance, his voice, his personality charmed me. He is physically fit, well read, and endearing.

Well, nothing is perfect in this world; come to find out that he is extremely insecure, is in therapy, and is very needy. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster with this guy. BUT, I cannot seem to let him go.. he has given me every opportunity to bow out gracefully with no regrets or animosity. However, I seem to experience this deep profound sadness at the thought of not hearing his voice and feeling his touch.. that I cannot bear to say "good bye". I have this need to take care of him; to make things right..He states he feels unworthy of me but I feel that my wants and desires are not as important as his...

I want to change this feeling; I have started therapy.. I know what I should do but I don't know why I just can't seem to do it.

Thanks

August 19, 2005
5:22 pm
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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You're on the right track! It's a big step to get into therapy, but it will help you. I guess you know this already or you wouldn't have done it.

One thing your post made me wonder is where you feel you are in your grieving regarding the loss of your husband. This must still weigh heavily on your mind and heart. I think it may be an important consideration where your other relationships are concerned--especially romantic ones!

Love,

Ren'ai

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