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co dependcy
October 16, 2006
11:09 pm
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virginia
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I am an adult child of an alcholic, and do not drink myself, but have all the negative feed backs of being brt up in dysfunctional home.
My dilema right now, trying to fix my sister. She has two grown boys, who are in the pattern - drug problems, she will not let them go. Her finances are awful, does not have a dependable car, and this is where my problem begins, I let her use my car when hers is broken down. My husband gets upset with me, because he says I am an enabler, I love my sister, and want to help her, but it is pulling me down.
what to do

October 17, 2006
1:02 am
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Randomwomen2
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Your sister has to first want to help herself hunny. I cant imagine how difficult it must be to watch but in order for her to get her life in order she has to truly want to and take the steps to do so

October 17, 2006
7:42 am
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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let your sister help herself....by enabling, your hubby is right, your sister is an adult and needs to care for herself and her children....you can't fix your sister, only she can fix herself.

October 19, 2006
7:33 pm
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virginia
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Help me: I am thinking about writing a letter to my sister to share with her my feelings, cause we can not talk face to face. We are always afraid of hurting each other's feelings, so we just keep our thoughts to ourselves, and after 52 and 58 years of keeping feelings inside, we can not communicate.

I dont even know what normal is.

October 21, 2006
11:14 pm
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virginia
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is there anyone who will discuss with me codependency and how to overcome it?

October 21, 2006
11:21 pm
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needtoheal
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September 24, 2010
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i am just getting out of a relationship in which we were both each other's CRUTCHES..
he was "there" for me during my separation and divorce
and i was "there" for him when he decided that he wanted me in his life and stopped smoking pot...
i know what my issues are: I was trying to rescue him and it never worked... he needs to be responsible and accountable for his own actions ...
this is hard for me because i have to let go of him... or the illusion of sharing my life with someone who could not change...

October 27, 2006
4:31 pm
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Newhorizons
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September 24, 2010
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First of all be self aware of your problems try to work on feeling like a complete person. I'm in a new relationship we got into a fight in the past I would have called and called worried we were over this time I did not. I'm not wrong about what I can live with I can't be in a relationship with a man who is still in contact with his ex nor do I chose too. If it's being selfish too bad because I know what I can tolerate and can't. If he talks with her and does not send the mail return to sender I'll be moving on. I do love, care, and would miss him; I would hurt but would be better off in the longer run if it comes to that.

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