Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
**clownface.... need your help!!****
December 4, 2006
10:47 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
201sp_Permalink sp_Print

No I am not going to take him to the Christmas party.. In fact, I am not even going to mention it to him..

I think he will want to stay here either Friday night or even Saturday night now that he knows that the boys will be gone...

I think that he is not too happy with the friends that he was hanging out with for a while...

I will tell him about the Christmas party IF I am hanging out with him on Sunday.... just before I have to go get ready...

I think that having a talk with KH is a great idea... I think that you are now ready to do so....

December 4, 2006
10:48 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
202sp_Permalink sp_Print

Do you take his calls this late?

December 4, 2006
10:49 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
203sp_Permalink sp_Print

He can be so childish sometimes...

He locks himself in his room and plays video games...

I guess it is better than what he used to do before I knew him

His parents let him smoke pot in his room... and even gave him money for his habit...

December 4, 2006
10:51 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
204sp_Permalink sp_Print

Last night he called me at 11:30

I had shut off the cell phone and he still called the house phone...

Tonight I am going to turn off the cell phone and the house phone...

December 4, 2006
10:52 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
205sp_Permalink sp_Print

last night he talked to me for a few minutes .. I was half asleep.. then he said he had to go... then called back after midnight to tell me that he had to get by a certain board in the game... I was so tired...

I really don't care if he calls or not tonight. I should not even mentioned it..

December 4, 2006
10:53 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
206sp_Permalink sp_Print

I'm gonna talk it over with my counselor tom nite. I do not want to do this and then spiral out of control. Not at the holiday and not when my daugther is getting married on the 16th.

If I feel I am strong enough, then I'm gonna do it. You are right, now is the best time to cut loose.I sometimes feel bad about doing this b/c he has been looking to me for his retirement future. But I am only 'his best option'--- financially is the only way he is looking at it. i am looking at it as a lifelong sentence. Can't do it, Won't do it.

December 4, 2006
10:55 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
207sp_Permalink sp_Print

I think that is one reason why he was so mad that I changed my cell phone number.... because if I turn off the cell phone, he then calls the house phone...

HE did that yesterday afternoon.. and late last night...

December 4, 2006
10:56 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
208sp_Permalink sp_Print

I am not feeling well tonight. Not sure what is going on. Maybe too much drama right now. Upcoming wedding, dating two men at the same time, stress of dating two men at the same time!! Scracthy throat and sorta achy. Hazzard of the job, I suppose.

December 4, 2006
10:59 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
209sp_Permalink sp_Print

Cannot blame you CLown....

I understand that you should talk it over with your counselor about it...

I know that it is difficult...

I don't think that I am feeling less anxious about PS because we have been in contact.. I do think that the medication is helping me...

I understand how you feel about the fear of things spiraling down especially with the holidays and your daughter getting married....

but maybe if you do this before your daughter gets married then you will feel more comfortable on that day since KH and LM will be there too....?????

December 4, 2006
11:00 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
210sp_Permalink sp_Print

Have you considered turning off the cell phone AND turning off the ringer on your house phone? Or taking the house phone off the hook? Do you think you are strong enough to do this or do you still need to see if he calls or not? I understand this. I had to know if KH called--still do. But now I put my phone on silent so he doesn't wake me up at such ungodly hrs.

December 4, 2006
11:01 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
211sp_Permalink sp_Print

I hope you feel better....

WHy don't you go and get some sleep..

Rest up...

Have a nice talk with the counselor tomorrow...

I will be around tomorrow night...

love ya

NEED

December 4, 2006
11:03 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
212sp_Permalink sp_Print

YEah I am going to turn the ringer off the house phone now..

I used to wait and see if he will call but I have been setting a limit in time...

Sometimes when he gets out of bowling late on Wednesday nights he will call at 1130- MIDnight... So on Wednesday nights I turn off both phones...

December 4, 2006
11:04 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
213sp_Permalink sp_Print

Good idea! Sleep would be a good thing. You rest well too, Sweet Need.

Talk to you tomorrow nite after counseling session.

Love,
Clown~

December 4, 2006
11:05 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
214sp_Permalink sp_Print

I have been getting better at this too.. YEsterday I turned off the cell phone for a while.. and the other day I did not answer his call when I was home...

I guess that is another reason why he calls every morning just before he gets to work...

Thanks for chatting....

Thanks for being YOU....

December 4, 2006
11:05 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
215sp_Permalink sp_Print

I will talk to you then....

HOT LIPs...

December 4, 2006
11:11 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
216sp_Permalink sp_Print

HOT LIPS will be back in action Wed nite!! Gotta get rested up for some action! LOL!

December 5, 2006
8:45 am
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
217sp_Permalink sp_Print

Good morning girls---

Pondscum did call last night just as I was about to turn off the house phone.. and I was right, He was playing his video game...

Anyway, I decided to take the paxil with me to work and going to take it at lunchtime.. Maybe that will help..

CLown-- hope you have a good talk with your counselor tonight..

love you both

NEED

December 5, 2006
6:30 pm
Avatar
cyndra820
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
218sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hello Hot Lips!!! LMAO

Well, my social butterfly aka Clown, how are you? What did your therapist think of you being ready to completely detach from KH?

You certainly sound like you are ready.

What you wrote about him being there for you when you had breast cancer got me to thinking about a saying I once heard. "People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime." Sometimes it's hard to know when we have to let go, but I'd say you've found the when.

You are not alone. You have no reason to fear being alone or lonely. You've got you, who is a hell of a woman. You've got your children. Now you've got LM. To me you've got a lot to keep you company if you begin to bore yourself.

Need~ How did taking the Paxil at a different time work?

I think we should go to your ex-h's and kick his ass. How sick is it to manipulate a child? That really pisses me off.

Though the break-up with FIB happened in October, I feel free. The first two weeks were awful, but once I realized that he wasn't the person I wanted to be with it became easier. While lurking on the Charmer thread I discovered he was one of those people and I had created the illusion I was in love with. He never was that man.

Then I started analyzing all the things I did that were codependent and where they came from. I'm still working on all of that.

I'm getting a bit of confidence back. I don't feel the need for everyone and their mother to like me. I'm just very content right now.

Right now I'm having a love affair with myself. I'm doing things that I want to do. Taking care of myself the way I should have been doing all along. Soon I will be free of the second household I was supporting and I'm letting it go without a blink.

Ladies, here's to a wonderful life for all of us. Cheers!!

December 5, 2006
8:06 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
219sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hey girls!! Taking the paxil later in the day helped me tremendously...
So I am going to try again tomorrow to take it at the same time as I did today...

Boys were with their dad today after school until 7:30 pm.. although they were late which is NOT unusual for slugshit...cannot even give me the courtesy to call when they are going to be late (more than 20 minutes late tonight)...

I just got back from pondscum's house...I took Mandy over there to play with his dogs and his sister stopped by with her dog.. Mandy is the youngest and smallest of the group and she was the fastest of them all.... She had a blast..

I was there for only about an hour..

Cyndra-- I am glad that you are happy without FIB... You deserve better...

I love you both!!

NEED

December 5, 2006
8:16 pm
Avatar
cyndra820
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
220sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hi Need and Clown,

I'm hitting the hay early. I've got to be at work by 6am to start stuffing give away bags for some community events we're going to.

Have a great night. I will catch up on the thread tomorrow. You two night owls give me something to read during the day.

Love you both!

December 5, 2006
9:36 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
221sp_Permalink sp_Print

Goodnight Cyndra--

I am so proud that you are doing the things necessary in taking care of yourself.. It is important.. I know that it is difficult for us to put ourselves first...

I am glad that I did have time away from PS... I have become more confident in myself and being alone when the boys are not with me..

Good night sweetie...

love ya

NEED

December 5, 2006
11:35 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
222sp_Permalink sp_Print

Good Grief--I missed my faovorite gals once again.

Long day on the road for me today.

Still not feeling very well. I think the stress is finally taking a toll.

Cyn~

It was quite refreshing to read your post tonight! I love the fact that you are having a love afair with yourself. What a beautiful expression of a healthy person. I admire you. I hope you continue on your journey of self intraspect and find even more lovely things about you. If FIB was in your life for a reason or a season, then hopefully he was a 'teacher' too and you've profitted from the lessons.

Need:

I too, don't like that SS uses the boys as he does. It'll only let them see sooner than later, what he is all about. I hope they won't be too disappointed as they grow older and more aware of his manipulation.

Mandy sounds like a bundle of energy! I LOVE dogs and wish I could have one. I do have two kitties, Emma and Maggie, that I love sooooo much.

PS is keeping to his usual behaviors, calling you late at night and so forth. What are the plans for the weekend? Boys will be with their father, right? I hope you can have a good weekend, with or without PS!

Okay, here I go, spilling my guts.

Thanks to you both for your kind words. I'm all 'puffed up' in a good kinda way!!

Talked at length with my counselor tonight. She agrees with you, Cyn, that I am more than ready to cut the cord with KH. I was concerned about explaining things to him, but she made a valid point--he will simply twist my words around. She feels that I owe him no explanation about anything. (She knows a whole lot more about him that I have been able to express to you all on here)

Of course, he left his glasses here on Sunday ( always leaving something here) so I need to ge them back to him. I will probably mail them to him.

Now on to LM! He called me tonight and asked if we could go to dinner Wed nite. We are going to this little romantic Italian place that is very special to the locals.

I bought the imfamous 'little black dress' for the Christmas party Sat night. I am going to pick him up a Christmas tie (Yes, he is going to pay for it!) when I am by his favorite clothing store on Friday. How's that for showing interest? I just have to be careful NOT to give too much.

So the question, is my friends, CAN I LET GO OF KLUNKHEAD? I sure hope so. While he is going thru his "push phase" I am going to run for the hills! Since seeing a healthy man, albeit glimpes, KH has come in crystal clear---he is a taker, a master manipulator. I'm done.

I have a conference call @ 8 so I'd better hit the hay! (it's actually 11:30 Pm est) that's early for this chick!

HOT LIPS is back in action Wed night!! I'll keep ya posted.....LM is a pretty good kisser too!! My first test to see if there is going to be a second test! LOL

Hugs with Smiles too,
Clown~

December 5, 2006
11:52 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
223sp_Permalink sp_Print

KH just called me. Haven't heard from him since Sunday. It is almost midnight and now he's calling.

I DIDN'T ANSWER. PHONES GOING ON SILENT. RIGHT NOW! KAPUT.

December 6, 2006
8:20 am
Avatar
cyndra820
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
224sp_Permalink sp_Print

Clown~ You go girl!!! Look at you! Okay, I'm glad your therapist thinks you are more than ready to let go of KH. I think the fear of the unknown is holding you back. It's okay. I understand all about that. Kept me with FIB FAR longer than I needed to be there.

You don't owe him an explanation other than it isn't working for you. End of story. If he pushes or prods for additional information tell him it's not up for discussion. You've made your decision. Thanks for the memories.

As for LM, I agree with you not to give too much. I do find it interesting that he's asked you to get him a tie. I picked out a tie for FIB once.

Need~ I think everyone should have a love affair with themselves. It is fun and rewarding. I don't feel the least bit selfish or guilty. I feel great. I recommend everyone do it.

December 6, 2006
8:56 am
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
225sp_Permalink sp_Print

Good morning girls!!

Paxil was working last night.. Won't need the sleeping pills anymore... I was sound asleep and then PS called. Talked to him for a little bit.. He was so happy that I came over last night with Mandy.. who was not even a bit tired after playing with three other dogs..
As far as SS, the boys already do see what their father is all about.. I cannot even talk to him about his behavior towards the boys because it would only lead him into twisting things around on me.. Unfortunately I hate seeing the boys going through this..with their father and the girlfriend.. Most often I go into another room when he calls them because I hate to even hear their responses..

I agree with Cyndra and your counselor that Klunkhead does not need an explanation.. In fact, HE was the one who even said that it was Ka-put to begin with... Mailing his glasses is a good idea..
You do not owe KH anything,CLown..

I think that it is nice that you are going to get a tie for LM.. I hope that you have a great time tonight with him... Hot LIPS!!!

As far as plans for the weekend, the boys will be with their father. I am not working Friday night and PS said that he would like to take me to the movies...

Saturday I have to work 10-3pm.. THen I bowl Saturday night. I don't know if PS is planning on coming to watch me bowl.. I have the feeling that he will come..

Sunday I asked for off from work.. We have our Christmas party at 5pm. I did not tell PS about it at all. The boys come back from their dad's house at 7:30pm and my mom is going to watch them if I am not home from the party...

Hope that you both have a great day..

Keep us posted HOT LIPS!!

love to you both

NEED

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
26
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111155
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
Ntaryanka, kokyman, qvcreditsg, freyrobert332, maamazama7, bojo2112jon
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information