Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
**clownface.... need your help!!****
November 29, 2006
10:02 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Clown~

What a spill!! Actually what KH said sounded familiar.. I remember PS telling me that I could treat HIM to dinner and I have the pleasure of his company too!!

I am glad to hear that you are going to go out again with LM and NOT tell KH about it right now.. You are right.. He does not need to know anything about what you are doing...
Good for you!!

Sorry to hear about having to pay off your son's loan... I know that it does not get any easier as the kids get older.. That is why I am trying to enjoy the moment with them...

Cyndra and Clown---

I got a promotion... Matt and Jake agreed that I could be the DISHWASHER at SLOPPY JOE'S RESTAURANT... they told me that there are a lot of customers and they needed to hire someone to do all the dishes... Geesh!! I thought that I could get a percentage of the profit...(especially with delivery charges to Maryland and W. Virginia!!)

I love you both!

Need

November 29, 2006
11:50 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Need:

Thanks for responding!

I'm glad you think I am doing the right thing with KH and LM. I am actually excited to pursue the relationship with LM. I am not putting too much into it though. I'll keep you posted after dinner tomorrow night.

SO YOU'Re THE DISHWASHER @ SLOPPY JOE'S, HUH? With no chance of the profits? Actually present company, (Jake and Matt) I'd say you've got a pretty good deal! Enjoy every moment.

Love ya,
Clown~

November 30, 2006
12:08 am
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cyndra:

Are you lurking tonite? If so, speak up and stop lurking!! I want to hear from you. Hope you had a good day.

Clown~

November 30, 2006
8:00 am
Avatar
cyndra820
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Clown~ Sorry I missed you. I've been trying to confine myself to the mornings, but I'll be around tonite after Chinese catch-up class.

Okay, here's my two-cents worth: I think you are doing the right thing. You should see what is up with LM even if you think he's a bit nerdy. LOL He seems nice and genuine.

I agree that going to the office party is a huge statement, maybe a little too huge. Play it by ear. I know it's the 9th, but if you can give him an answer on Tuesday or Wednesday I'd wait.

KH sounds like he's doing a push-me-pull-you kind of thing. Not something I like at all. I don't think you've done anything to deserve this treatment. I'd put him on ice. Give him the cold shoulder for a while.

In what ways does he still control you? I had a moment like that. One of those ah-ha moments where I realized that I was still seeking validation from my ex. I know he can't give it to me and I got pissed with myself for wanting it. I immediately journaled. Can't say anything is resolved, but I'm working on it.

I am sorry about your son and you having to sell the stock. I think it's nice that the bank will put any money he pays on the loan into your account.

Need~ Wow, a promotion!!! Matt and Jake have the best dishwasher that side of the Mason-Dixon!! LOL I think it's great that they feel free to include you in their games.

How are things with PS? How are you feeling about that? Is there anyone at the bowling alley you can flirt with? I don't mean seriously, but playfully? I have been practicing flirting with someone I met through work.

Interesting guy. We had lunch yesterday to celebrate the completion of a project. I told him I'd buy lunch when it was done. So, we went out yesterday. Nice. He's got two daughters 21 and 14. I don't think I can do a 14 year old who's never had a mother. Their mother walked out and fell off the face of the planet about 10 years ago. He wants to go for drinks, but I'm hedging. It was nice to flirt again.

The one thing I didn't do is talk at all about FIB. He came up in passing, but that was all.

FIB did call me this week. He has been helping a woman who works with him at his church. She's 24, married to a man with custody of his 6 year old daughter. She had some sort of crisis and called him, not her husband. I thought that was very interesting, but didn't say anything. Whatever he does is on him and I am no longer a part of his life. Glad of that am I.

Hope you all have a great day.

Love to you both,

Cyn

November 30, 2006
8:46 am
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi girls~

I got my first paycheck in my mailbox that is outside my bedroom door. $50.00 --not bad for a night of dishwashing.....

Cyndra~ I think that it is great that you went out to lunch with the nice guy from work.. It is fun to flirt.. makes us feel alive..

I have someone at work who I flirt with.. he's married (what a shame)..
He asked me if I was going to the company Christmas party on Sunday December 10th.. I told him that I am going..

As far as PS, he has been calling ME.. He seems happier ever since we spent time with each other over the past weekend.
It was awkward at first to be over his house. His mother answered the door and seemed to not know what to do.. HE did not tell her that I was coming over. But she did welcome me. THen it was like old times again.. talking with his parents and his sister about the boys and the puppy.. I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner there.. His mother said that I look absolutely great..SKINNY, skinny... (Well, I would not refer to myself as skinny but THINNER)...

Last night when he called he told me about his friends that he lent money to and how their "story" about getting kicked out does not seem to add up; I did not comment.. I am not making any judgements or give my opinion.. HE is finding this out for himself..

Oh, this is interesting too.. Slugshit--my ex-husband-- he got a kitten for the boys after our cat died.. So I have a big container of cat litter here.. So before the kids came home I called him and offered the cat litter . He said NO... not even no thanks.. I bet my mother that he would refuse... But at least I offered.. I just do not understand why does it have to be that difficult..

I hope you all have a great day...

Love~
NEED

November 30, 2006
8:52 am
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cyndra~

The way you feel about FIB calling you up and telling you about the woman who called him up is the same way I feel about PS calling me and telling me about his bar friends ... No reaction.. whatever THEY DO is on THEM....

November 30, 2006
10:28 am
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cyn and Need I miss you guys bad. Just wanted to let you know that this morning....Am feeling a little down...

Love to you both...

November 30, 2006
8:23 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Friends!

Okay, back from my dinner date with LM. Girls, he is looking like a keeper! At least for a little while!

We had a great dinner, conversation was light and interesting. He told me that he 'disclosed' to some of the firm that I am his date for the Christmas party.

I don't know how to act having a man pay for everything. Gee, is this different.

I don't have a Christmas tree, so he offered to bring it to my home after I pick it out tomorrow evening. He also wants to go see the new James Bond movie.

KH is clueless. He called me this AM and said he was going to lunch with his staff that had retired last yr. Three ladies, who know us BOTH well. I asked him what he was going to say when I was brought up, and he said "nothing has changed, we're still ka-put." I repeated him and said, "We're ka-put, right?" He said nothing has changed and that I speak German well. That was just what I wanted him to say! Now when I 'disclose' about my other friend, I can remind him that HE is the one who said that we were, "KA-PUT!" I couldn't have asked for a better out!

Okay, thanks for allowing me to spill my guts.

Cyn-I'm glad you have someone to flirt with. It sorta reminds us that we still have the goods to allure the male germs!!!

Need-Any more word from PS? I think he really misses you and just isn't sure how to work things out. Sounds like if he is jumpin' into the ole beddy by with you, then he IS figuring things out. Glad to hear his fam was nice to you too!

Love to all,

Sage, the Clown

Also may I ask what is FIB

November 30, 2006
8:50 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Clown--- I am so HAPPY for you about Lawyerman!!!!! And he is going to help you with the Christmas tree...Yeah!! And I am glad that he mentioned to people at the firm that you are HIS date for the Christmas party!! I am so excited!!!

As far as KH, you are right about the out... KA-PUT!!!!!!

Pondscum keeps calling.. He called after he got out of work but I just happened to NOT get the call... I am taking the suggestion to NOT be available all the time with him..... It never helped us that we were always in communication with each other.. It was too unhealthy.. I have learned from this..

Although his mother is very controlling, she is a very nice person.. she means well.. I know that she has always liked me but sometimes I felt she liked me so much is because she wanted to UNLOAD him...

What is strange about us both is whenever I would go to his house his one dog would whine and go crazy.. I had not been over there since September.. When his mother opened the door the DOG went crazy.. His mother said to his father "DO you hear him? Guess who is here?"...

And when Pondscum came over to my house, MAnDY went absolutely NUTS..SHe flopped on her back and then went pee.. Then when we went to bed that night She whined and cried herself to sleep.. She has NEVER done that before.. I know that dogs do not have a concept of time but I guess they can remember.. because PS was with me when I picked her out... and he had only seen her two times since August.. and SHE went NUTS for him..... INteresting...

I am feeling much better although I am still very sleepy.. but I will take daytime sleepiness over daytime crying...!!!

My mother told me that she sees a BIG difference in me.. I am much calmer.. I agree... I do not feel as impulsive or obsessive...

Clown~ FIB= Fucking Idiot Boyfriend

that is Cyndra's Pondscum

Cyndra~

Hope all is well with you sweetie...

Love to both of you

---NEED----

November 30, 2006
10:16 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Need!

I know what you mean about being more calm and stuff. When I finally came to some terms with KH after the last split, I became a much calmer person. I too, lost about 20 lbs thru the process. That was the best thing, if you can consider this, a good thing!

I still think you need to get that book I suggested, "Why Men Love Bitches" for your reading. You are alrady adopting some of the concepts by not being so 'available' for PS. I am adhering to the suggestions in the book with LM and they are working well. I am not gonna live my life by them, but I do find they work.

I think a man should consider it a privledge to spend time with me. AND, if a man is going to pursue me, then he is going to pay for my company. I will reciprocate in time and the 'upfront' $$$ he spent will be well worth it. I am, of course, very giving, but I have to watch it, b/c if I give too much, they tuck their tail and run!

Also I am not being Needy with LM. I really don't care if he calls or not. This is a turn on for guys. Remember, they love the chase.

If anybody is around, please, let's chat. I leave for work early everyday so it is difficult for me to get on here during the day.

Love,
Clown

November 30, 2006
10:32 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Clown~

I will definitely check out that book.. thanks....

I am here...

November 30, 2006
10:58 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

So is PS there tonight?

November 30, 2006
11:02 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am not surewhat I am going to do tomorrow night. LM wants to get the tree and go to the movies.

I know KH is going to want to do something and he is definitely gonna know something is up IF I don't do something with him.

I am still unable to cut the cord with him just yet. Is this the co-dependency issue coming up again??

November 30, 2006
11:03 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

No... he is home... He only has been around when the kids are with their dad... I have not had them around him for a very long time... They know that we "broke Up" but today when I was on the phone with him they asked who was I talking to and I told them that it was him... so they know that we are talking now...

November 30, 2006
11:07 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Clown~~

I am not sure myself because I do not know why I cannot cut the cord from PS either...

I cannot even say it is because we are intimate because we are not.. even though we slept together this past weekend that is what we did... SLEEP..

However, when he said goodbye to me Sunday night he gave me a hug and then a kiss... and it was sparks all over again...

I know that it is probably the romantic idea of him but I have to say that kiss was like the first time we kissed....

November 30, 2006
11:07 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

How do you think you think the boys feel about this? Do they like PS or not?

November 30, 2006
11:12 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

They have mixed feelings about him.. I know that they do not like him because whenever we would all be together sometimes I would be upset and I think that they picked up on that... I know that they did like to go to his house because his parents and his sister were always welcomed us like family... they loved playing with the dogs too..
They have not said anything about PS.. knowing that I have been talking to him..

What i found very INTERESTING is Jake-- my youngest who just turned 7-- wrote something about being thankful.. and he wrote that he is thankful for pets because if you are lonely they can cheer you up.. I think that he was referring to me because he had been sad after I was NOT talking with PS...

But I reassured them both that I was fine without PS around.. when they would go with their dad, I told them that I was at work..

I don't want them to feel sorry for me

November 30, 2006
11:13 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I know you said that PS had 'mechanical difficulties' KH always took a "little Blue" when he had those issues. He also injects himself with testostrone. That's when he becomes a real meanie.

So the sparks were flyin' during the kiss, huh? Well, I'd say that you guys are gonna work it out. I do think you might wanna consider 'airing out' the problems that lead to the split, unless you feel this may be too stressful right now.

November 30, 2006
11:15 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think that if you do something with LM then it does not matter if KH knows.,. remember, Ka-put!!

That is why I am also making my own plans for when I do not have the boys... I used to fill up all my time when the kids were with their dad with work and then with PS.. So on Dec. 10th I will not have the boys and I am planning on going to the work Christmas party.. I am not even going to mention it to PS...

November 30, 2006
11:18 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am not so sure what the problems are physically and/or mentally with him.. I know that he is NOT gay.. I think that he feels inferior since he never was with another woman ever.. but maybe he does not have a sex drive because it being a form of control... ??

I cannot figure it out...

I have to admit the sparks were there...

November 30, 2006
11:19 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think our children are much more receptive than we think. They are silently observant, taking it all in, but not saying much. It sounds like your boys are very intune with you and can sense when you are in pain.

My children can read me like a book. They know when the least little thing is bothering me. Even if I attempt to conceal it, they have hidden radar and can pick up on it.

Need~What am I gonna do about tomorrow night? KH or LM??? I don't know what to do. I am scared to loose KH b/c I don't like LM as much as I do KH. But I want to give him a chance. KH makes me sick but I am still addicted to him. Now is that not just about the craziest thing you've ever heard??

November 30, 2006
11:22 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Clown~

I do understand some of the problems that led to the split that I directly contributed... that is something that I am trying to change.. not being too clingy, too possessive, needy...

and i noticed that he is calling me more...

although I did not hear from him again tonight.. He might have fallen asleep early since he bowled late last night and then worked for 10 hours today...

I have been doing what you suggested and ending the conversation first... I did it last night when he called me after bowling... It was a good feeling...

November 30, 2006
11:23 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

PS should get his testosterone levels checked. He may not have any libito b/c of this. That is what KH did. Lord, help us all!!! When he takes his injections, his libito goes thru the roof! That is when he turns to the porn. I can't stand that.

November 30, 2006
11:25 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I know the feeling Clown... although I am not in the same situation since I do not have another choice other than PS...

However, I do think that you should go out with LM tomorrow night.. get the Christmas tree and go to the movies...

What would you do if you were to do something with KH? any predictions? what is your "normal" routine with HIM?

November 30, 2006
11:25 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think you will see an improvement in PS IF he thinks you really don't care if he calls you or not. Let HIM wonder what you doing. Don't tell him. Let him see that you are quite okay without him.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
25
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111165
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
anissafield, Aemorph, CaitlynForlong, AndrinNetzer, MaarcusPedersen, MarcusPedersen
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information