Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
**clownface.... need your help!!****
December 9, 2006
8:50 pm
Avatar
cyndra820
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
251sp_Permalink sp_Print

Need~ What did you say to his "lovemaking session" idea? I know you are bowling right now. DAMN I wish I had read this earlier.

Hot Lips~ I hope you are having a blast with LM at the party!!

December 9, 2006
11:09 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
252sp_Permalink sp_Print

Cyndra~

I really did not say anything at all because I was not sure.. However, he said that he woould be there at 8pm and guess what..he showed up by 8:05pm. My friend who bet me a drink said that he would not show up and I won the bet...

I had a few drinks but He was there to take me home.. He is here right now with me.. and I told him how much I do love him;.
I know that i do love him very mich...
Hope all is well with you

and you too CLown..

Love

NEed

December 9, 2006
11:25 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
253sp_Permalink sp_Print

TONIGHT is definitely going to be the test of it all.....

This is going to be the night of the decision of whether to go or run as fast as I can........

December 10, 2006
1:49 am
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
254sp_Permalink sp_Print

Oh Lord, I miss so much stuff on here during the day!

Need:

Do as I did--step back, take a deep breath, re-focus, think things through. Is PS really what you want, what you need? Could very well be that he is the one. I hope you are having a good evening with him and things turn out positive for you. Sure am glad the Paxi is working for you. Are you still taking it @ noon?

Cyn~You are so inspiring for me. I read what you say about KH and I feel so much stronger. I guess this is what this site is all about, enocuraging one another to greater heights and self awareness and possibilites of a brighter tomorrow.

Interesting your thoughts on FIB. Why would any guy discuss his previous sexual encounters with his girlfriend? All those questions he would ask you.......I'm not sure if that would be abuse, I'm thinking manipulation, which of course, is a form of abuse. How do you feel when you have contact with him?

Okay, here's my news!

Haven't heard another word from KH. As long as I do not contact him, I think he will leave me alone. I have no desire to contact him.

Had a nice time with LM at the party tonight. He came this AM, put my tree together and it looks quite lovely! Went back to his house after the party and actually felt some passion!! This is a good thing.

It's 1:44 AM and I'm going to church in a few hrs. I'm gonna need to throw a few extra dollars in the plate, if you get my drift!!!

Love to you both,
Clown~with a REAL smile on her face!
(yes, Cyn~ I know slow and easy wins the race and the man. Still a challenge to him but NOT without some naughty encouragement!)

December 10, 2006
3:54 am
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
255sp_Permalink sp_Print

Clown and Cyndra---

You are both inspiring to me...

He delivered what he had promised and let me tell ya both it was great..

We have been getting along so much better now.. I do know that some of the difference is that I am more relaxed with him. I have to admit that I had a huge smile on my face when he was there to watch me bowl.. I guess it is because we did not spend some time together (like over two months)..

Anyway, I hope that all is well with you both...

Clown-- glad that you had a great time with LM... and I am also glad that KH got the hint to leave you alone....!!!!

Cyndra-- You are an inspiration to us... and I am so glad that you are here....

I love you both

NEED

December 10, 2006
2:02 pm
Avatar
cyndra820
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
256sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hello Ladies!!!

Need~ Glad you had a great time with PS. I guess if you are going to start dating him again we'll have to find him another nickname.

Okay, I'm going out on a limb here...You said earlier this week that he could not be the person you spent the rest of your life with or being around the boys. What's changed? What is he doing differently? Do you think this is a permanent change or is it a "honeymoon" period? What will you do if it's an illusion? I know they are tough questions, and I'm not asking to bust your chops, but I think they are questions that you need to ask and answer for yourself.

I know you care for him, but this is the same man who called you and his mother a cunt. Not cool. I don't want you to go through that again. You don't deserve to be disrespected and mistreated.

Clown~ Naughty encouragement is good. I didn't say you shouldn't enjoy yourself, and it looks like you did!!! Yea!!!

I'm glad KH has not contacted you. Now if it's true that he won't contact you unless you contact him, then you BETTER NOT contact him. I know, that may be easier said than done, but I think you are strong enough.

You asked me how I felt when I contacted FIB. I don't contact him. I've decided that No Contact is definitely what I need. I may change my mind, but right now my peace of mind is WAAAAY more important than contacting him.

I've realized that in almost every other aspect of my life I'm a confident happy woman. In a romantic relationship I become this insecure person who is desperate for approval. Not good. I don't want to be that person any longer. I need to find out why I'm that way and unlearn the behavior. The journey continues.

Thank you both for saying I'm an inspiration. You two inspire me as well. Clown, you got out there and DATED! Sheesh, I am so NOT ready for that. Need, you take charge of your issues and deal with them. When you see something you don't like or aren't sure of you address it. I'm not always that way.

Have a great time at church, Hot Lips. Need, enjoy the party tonight. I'll chat with you all later.

December 10, 2006
5:40 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
257sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hi Ladies~

Joined the church this morning--LM was right there, sat with my fam!!
My daughter is getting married there next Sat, her soon to be husbands' fam have been members there for yrs.

LM is going out of town today, back on Tues.

Cyn:

I am beginning to miss KH. I know, I know, bad habit, very bad habit. However, I am NOT going to call him. That would only open up another can of worms...REPEAT OF SAME BEHAVIORS. I AM DONE BUT I AM GOING THROUGH WITHDRAW, YET AGAIN.

Cyn, I am glad you know what direction you are going in. You sound so strong. At least you recognize your behavior, and are attempting to change. That is very healthy. Good for you! Dating soon after a breakup is not a good thing. Taking your time to find yourself is a good thing.

Need:

Glad to hear that PS delivered on the 'goods'! We will have to change his name to something OTHER than Pondscum. LOL How about: Boom Boom Man, or Hot Bowling Ball(s) Man (pun intended) or Great Lover? Oh, I'm sure you'll have a new name that'll fit. Hope you are having a great time at your Christmas party. Did you end up taking PS?

Okay, I'll check back with you all later. Lawyerman is AKA Loverman!!!

Love to both,
Clown~

December 10, 2006
8:14 pm
Avatar
cyndra820
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
258sp_Permalink sp_Print

Clown~ Dontcha just hate WITHDRAWL?!?!?! It's such a pain in the posterior!! At least we know it will end and it won't hurt forever. Maybe longer than we'd like, but it does end. That's what keeps me from contacting FIB.

I called my therapist and asked her if I was emotionally abused or just manipulated. She asked the only valid question: Does it matter? The truth is it doesn't. I've made up my mind that I will no longer accept that kind of behavior. I allowed him to treat me that way and not once did I speak up about it. So, the responsibility for me accepting it is on me. Not an easy pill to swallow, let me tell you.

I am SO glad you had a nice time with LM who is now Loverman. Nice!!!

Take care,
Cyn

December 10, 2006
10:22 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
259sp_Permalink sp_Print

Cyndra-- thanks for those questions that I have to ask myself because you are RIGHT ON... Oh MY GOD.. what a problem today...

Let's not CHange his Name... he is still PONDSCUM and I have to learn to address the issue of withdrawal and get on with my life without him..

IT was so messed up..

This morning I told him that I had the Christmas party for work. I told him that I had just remembered..

He wanted to go get some breakfast so we decided that we would go to his house and then he could take me to the christmas party since it is not far from his work...

I got ready for the party and then went to his house.. We had breakfast and then watched tv in his room.. We cuddled..

Then oh my god.. he called his mother a f*cking cunt when she complained to him... I was in the bathroom and I could not believe that he said it because it lead me to believe that he will NOT be able to change....

What got so messed up is this... I did not have directions to the Christmas party and I had asked him if he knew where the place was.. Well when he went to drop me off there it was not the place.. So i called my work and asked for directions.. We were not in the right place so I was going to call back.. Then he told me that I would embarass myself.. And he criticized me that I did not have directions. I could not even explain myself to him.. He was all mad and called up his mother and asked her to ask his father where the place was.. She told us where she thought the place was but it was not the right place. So then she called back and had looked up in the phone book the address. Well I called back work and they read the directions and we found the place. So I told him that he did not have the right to belittle me like he did and said goodbye without giving him a kiss...

Then after I got to the place I saw that the person who I was going to get a ride home was not there... So I panicked and thought that PS should just come back and get me.. When I called him back he was all mad and told me that I had to go to the party that he just left me and that he was with me all weekend what else could I have to talk to him about.. and that I need to enjoy myself without him, that I am too clingy and smothering.. and that my problem is that I do not do anything without him/;./. I was so pissed off.. I called my mother and told her that I got a ride there and that PS had taken me there and how he talked to me.. She was alright about it. she knew that I was with him all weekend.. but did not make a comment...

Then when I was there I calmed down by calling the married guy -- the crush... He was with his WIFE.. I asked him if he could take me home and he said that "WE are not staying that long.." so I knew right then that he was unable to take me home.. How awkward because he was the one who encouraged me to go...

Anyway, I was fine.. started drinking right away and I should not have been drinking because of the medication that I am taking.. but anyway a friend of mine was also there and I asked him if he could take me home and he said yes so I knew that I could stay.. and I did..

drank about 6 beers in three hours..

PS called me back before He was going bowling and said that he was on the phone with his friend dawn and wanted to know what she had wanted and he could not click over the phone.. I did not say anything to him/
He said that he would call me after bowling.. I did not say anything to him///\I was so disappointed girls.. Here I thought that things were great and it turned out like shit all the way around.. PS gave me hell and the married guy brought his wife...

So I was fine... The guy who took me home asked me about PS.. I told him that I no longer speak to him. I had gone out with this guy once and we have hit it off but he said always that he never wanted to step on PS toes.. so I did not want to tell him that me and PS are back together..

Anyway, this guy who took me home was so sweet.. He brought another friend to his place first because his car was parked there and then he took me home. He had to go out of his way to take me home and I was so grateful. He even stopped to let me get some cigarettes because I did not have mine on me..
He needed cigarettes and I would not accept his money.. On the way home we were talking about work and he told me that I am a very smart girl.. I made sure that i said thank you to him for taking me home.. I gave him a kiss on the cheek too..

When I walked through the door my mom was here because she was watching the kids since they came home from slugshit.. She told me that I should have known better that things would not change with pS..

so you were right Cyndra in posing those questions to me about him being an illusion and how do I feel.. and CLown is right too..

Things will not change.. IT is a honeymoon period... that is all..

Then after I got home I called him after my mom left. She probably knew that I was drunk..

But anyway the first thing that PS asked me is what time did I get home, did I have a good time, if the married guy went (he knows he is my friend) and asked if my old boss went, he told me to calm down about before and that I should have told him to come pick me up.. so I explained to him that I did not even get a chance to say anything to him at all...

He said that he would have turned around and got me.. I told him what my mother said that I should have known better. then he said that he will call me back.. I do not even feel like talking to him... nothing is going to change and I feel like runnning as fast as I can away from him.,.

My store manager was there and when we were at the table some guy had said how knowledgeable I was with sports and that is why all the guys like me.. so I guess there are a lot of guys who do like me at work but I am not going out with anyone ... and that is because of PS... even the guy asked me about PS tonight.. HE even asked me how did I get there and I did not tell him that pS took me because then he would know that I am still hanging around him..

THis was a definite eye opener to me.. PS has to be still called PS.. because he is exactly that.. PS and I deserve much more than this abuse!!!

then he tries to smooth things over and say that I have to calm down but I am tired of him telling me that.. I admitted that I messed things up tonight by not having directions and relying on him because I had asked him if he knew where it was.. IT was not MY fault that the place he thought it was was not the place...

I am so disgusted with things...

thanks for reading and your thoughts and advice are very much appreciated.. I am sorry if I disappointed you both by drinking last night and tonight. but I am glad that I did go to this party..
And I am going to watch my heart from the married guy and PS.. they are unavailable men.. although the married guy is just a crush but he is also unavailable too...

thanks girls

I will post later if PS does in fact call me back.. I do not want to argue with him.. I do need to do things without him and I do not know why he asked me all those questions...

love.
NEED 2 HEAL

and that is my name because I obviously need to heal and get PS out of my mind... plus it is too expensive for HIM to occupy my head.. what is the going rate Cyndra?? now is it 500,000 per centimeter!!!

price has to go up.... very costly to occupy my head..

I am such a loving, caring person with a lot to offer and I feel like I am shit..

Not fair... even the guy who brought me home said that I am a smart girl...

I was happy when he said that..

PS called me a smart bitch today because I knew that answer to a trivia question without even hearing the possibilities.. he automatically said out loud to me

"SMART BITCH"

December 10, 2006
10:26 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
260sp_Permalink sp_Print

funny how gg thinks I sound so much better even if it is with PS but I guess I am not so much better;; maybe just coming out of the fog..
and not as depressed

December 10, 2006
10:33 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
261sp_Permalink sp_Print

Just going to pass out because I had too much to drink and I am so tired of Pondscum and all this stuff ..

tired of being a pretty girl with a lot of intelligence and being a good mom and a very caring and loving person and having no one to share these qualities who appreciate it... Smart bitch,.. cannot believe PS said that.. should know better like my mother said... will not change and I keep going back... want to run away from him and this disallusionment....

December 10, 2006
10:33 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
262sp_Permalink sp_Print

I do love u b oth and do appreciate having u both in my life..

December 10, 2006
10:34 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
263sp_Permalink sp_Print

I do love u b oth and do appreciate having u both in my life..

December 10, 2006
11:57 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
264sp_Permalink sp_Print

well he called back and asked me a couple of questions.. he asked me if there was a lot of people there from my work.. when i told him that i have to pass out because i had too much to drink he asked me if i was drinking with the married guy (guess he can pick up on the attraction thing with this guy because he asked about him again) and i said that he was there not too long and he was with his wife,, he asked me if i was drinking with my girlfriends and i said no...

he also told me that he told his friend that had called him (the girl from the bar that owes him money) that he was with me this weekend and I asked him what did she say and he said that she said "if that is what you want" and he said that he told her "time will tell"

I asked him what does that answer mean and he said that it is what it is...

he said fo me to stop asking silly questions and i told him that he had a lot of silly questions for me..

I hung up on him

and then i called back and left him a message that I am going to be the one to run now..I said that he got what he wanted.. for me to do things without him..and that I do not deserve his shit.. I also told him not to show up at the boys christmas concert at school on tuesday and he said that he won't and he promises..

and when i was talking to him i told him that i deserve better since i am such a smart bitch...and then i hung up the phone..

December 11, 2006
12:09 am
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
265sp_Permalink sp_Print

You are right Cyndra about asking the question about what if it is all an illusion and how am I going to deal with it because it is always good to be prepared and in control.. I hope that I am more in control than two months ago..

I am afraid of having another downslide especially after getting myself back up again and getting the medication for depression..

I reread what you wrote cyndra about asking your therapist whether you were manipulated or abused and she said what does it matter and that you feel that it does not matter because it is on you for allowing someone to treat you the way in which you did not feel was right... and that is true,,,, been there and done that all too much..

that is the way i feel about tonight with PS...

I feel I deserve better...

and I want to run so fast from him.

December 11, 2006
12:52 am
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
266sp_Permalink sp_Print

Cyndra--and CLownface---

There is some irony.. He was telling me about the game shop 1 to 100.. and he said that there was a question about what has the smallest cell... so without hearing the choices I said that AN AMOEBA was a single cell organism and that is when he called me the smart bitch...

Now if you remember I was pondering several weeks ago on the sisterhood thread of a name to call him.. and I thought about an amoeba shit ....

How ironic ????

He said that he would not have known the answer because he was in the slow classes in school..

so maybe we should change his name to amoeba shit..

And by the way, as far as the goods, well, he is still dysfunctional but he was not selfish the other night..

love ya

NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THE AMOEBA SHIT

December 11, 2006
7:36 am
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
267sp_Permalink sp_Print

Good morning girls.. No hangover which is always good...

This weekend seemed like an illusion.. We had been getting along really well.. until he had to drop me off at the Christmas party.. and his anger and frustration was projected onto me.. and he also was nasty with his mother who had only been trying to help..

thanks for reading and your thoughts, insights, and advice is welcome..

thanks for being there for me...

love
NEED

December 11, 2006
8:12 am
Avatar
cyndra820
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
268sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hi Need~

Wow!!! Did you have a roller coaster ride or what? DAMN, girl!! You don't deserve ANYTHING he's done.

I'm glad that you thought the questions were worth answering. I know I have been wondering the same things about FIB. My biggest question is why can't I let go of the illusion? What is so great about it? Am I afraid of being alone? Do I feel that he may be the last man on the planet to love me? Why do I keep selling myself short? Not easy questions, and I'm still looking for the answers.

As for his getting angry, how stupid is that? Yes, I do mean stupid because EVERYONE gets lost occasionally. So, his reaction was childish and his lashing out at you was beyond inappropriate.

Don't beat yourself up about backsliding or believing the illusion. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and FORGIVE yourself. You made a mistake. It isn't the end of the world and it isn't the end of you. It's a tough learning experience, but that's what it was.

What books are you reading right now? I'm still slowly working my way through Co-dependent No More. I do mean slowly because I want this to stick with me. I don't want to be this way anymore.

I am so glad that the two of you are here with me. This would be harder without other people to help me.

Love you both.

Cyndra

December 11, 2006
8:20 am
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
269sp_Permalink sp_Print

He is so childish and demanding at times too.. It was definitely not acceptable for him to belittle me and project his anger and frustration onto me.. and I am not so sure that he feels so secure with me either because he kept asking me questions.. was I drinking with my girlfriends?? Does it even matter WHO I had been drinking with? And this is from a man who told me that the problem that I have is not wanting to do anything without him.. Give me a break..

I am going to get back up and dust myself off... This time it will be a little easier and I think that it has made me stronger as well..

December 11, 2006
8:32 am
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
270sp_Permalink sp_Print

Good morning, Ladies~

I am taking a few extra minutes at home before I scurry out the door.

Need:

Sorry to hear about your topsy-turvy weekend. Sounds likes PS is up to his old tricks. The names his calls his mother is disturbing to me. I've always heard that a man treats his wife like he treats his mother. This does not sound promising. I still hear a bit of doubt in your resolve to end and I mean end the relationship. I understand this, if true. It is so difficult to break things off b/c the hope is there that it will or is getting better. Acceptance, that it is a 'loose/loose' situation is hard. Round hole-square peg.......

Cyn~
So glad to hear that you are getting healthier and taking your time through Codep,No More. I have that book as well, but when I first got it I could not concentrate at all. I will re-visit it after the holidays. You aslways give such insightful feedback, I appreciate your thoughts so very much. When you do find the right guy, he's sure gonna be a lucky one!!

LM called last night after he arrived at his destination. He is very sweet to do this and always asks me to call him when I am driving home if we take separate cars. KH NEVER did that. He just went to bed. I still am suffering pangs of withdraw, but I know what I must do and I am doing it. NC, NC, NC and so forth.

Okay, I'm on my broom and flyin' outta here! Have a terrific day!

I'll check in when I come in for a landing around 7:00 tonight. I don't wanna miss any of the good stuff!!

Hugs,
HOTLIPS~

December 11, 2006
8:44 am
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
271sp_Permalink sp_Print

Yes it is true that it is true that how a man treats his mother is an indication about how he will treat other women.. It is disturbing how he does treat her. You should have heard him when he was calling her to find out where the place was.. he was so demanding.. and when he called her back the second time he demanded that she look up the address in the phone book.. then he told her that if we did not find the place within 5 minutes that I am not going at all...
He also was belittling to me about "an airhead move" by not getting the directions and that everyone at work had directions but not me.. and that by calling work back I was "embarrassing myself"..

Then there was also the smart bitch comment.. how lovely..

I wish I could end it --- END END IT!

There is no hope and this weekend proved it...

I will check back later...

Hugs,
Smart bitch

December 11, 2006
10:13 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
272sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hey girls...Went to see my therapist today. I talked to her about the past weekend with PS.. and since I did not see her last week she had wanted to know why I had cancelled. so I told her that I had different work schedule and I also admitted that I was very tired.. I told her that I do not know what my feelings are about PS.. I told her that I did have a great weekend with him aside from last night when he was taking me to the Christmas party. I also told her that I told you girls about it perhaps being an illusion to me and that I have been thinking about that.
I also discussed with her my feelings about taking Paxil. SHe told me that she did not think that taking the paxil was a bad idea. I told her that I like the feeling that I am no longer so weepy all the time like when I was driving and during work..
After my appointment More drama unfolded.. slugshit demanded that all of a sudden we are now going to be switching Christmas eve and Christmas night and he does not have proper sleeping arrangements for his children so the kids would have to come back home to me.. We have never switched. He always took them Christmas Eve and I had them Christmas day and night.. Now he demands that I have them Christmas eve and he gets them at 12 noon CHristmas day and would bring them back to me that night..
Final decision: I have them Christmas eve he takes them Christmas day at 1pm.. and keeps them overnight..

The boys have their winter concert tomorrow night.. Slugshit told them that he would be unable to go because he had a wake to go to.. Now tonight he said that he can go and that the wake was changed. All I heard Matt ask is why would it be changed and that the doctors need to examine the body.."you know how doctors can be dad"...

Before the boys knew that their father could go to the winter concert, they both asked PS to go to the concert tomorrow night and he is going...

I am fine with him going..

I hope all is well..

love,
NEED

December 11, 2006
10:55 pm
Avatar
clownface
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
273sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hey girlies~

I am so sick that I can't hold my head up. Not a good`thing with impending wedding on Sat. I'm thinking about taking tom. as a sick day if I don't feel better. Get back to you both tom.

Take good care,
Sick, Sick, achy sick, Clown!

December 12, 2006
7:39 am
Avatar
cyndra820
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
274sp_Permalink sp_Print

Good Morning!!

Clown~ I'm so sorry about your feeling sick!! Is it a cold? I don't know if you have a health food store in your town, but if you do see if they sell elderberry extract. I swear by the stuff during cold season. It boosts the effect of any meds you take. For me it's a life saver.

Need~ SS sounds like he's doing the manipulating thing again. He needs a swift kick. If you had told him that you would have the kids Christmas day and he could either have them Christmas Eve or not at all what would he have said? Just curious. I think what you compromised on is fine, but I wonder what his reaction would have been.

Oveall, how do you think you are handling the PS situation? Do you want this relationship? What does it do for you? Boy, am I the tough bitch or what this morning?

The last few days have been horrible. I've been thinking about FIB and wanting to call him and tell him off. I've had to ask myself at least three dozen times what purpose would it serve? He's still an illusion. More accurately the illusion is what I fell in love with and I keep trying to get it back. I keep searching for ways to have it back, and it ain't working!!!! AAAHHH!!!

So, I'm dusting myself off and removing the blinders with rose tinted sides. He was never the person I thought he was. I created the illusion. Aside from that, I'm doing okay.

My mother's Christmas Party is on the 23rd. I'm making maccaroni and cheese and kale. One of her co-workers tasted the kale and loved it. I thought I'd make it for the party.

Have a great day ladies.

December 12, 2006
9:15 am
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
275sp_Permalink sp_Print

Clown-- so sorry that you are feeling sick.. I hope that you are feeling better and soon.. Are you all ready for the wedding day Saturday?

Cyndra-- You are not being a tough bitch... Yes SS was being his manipulating and demanding self. What really pissed me off was the fact that he twisted things around on me saying that we have been switching the holiday when in fact we haven't.. Then he also said that I am the one who is being inconvenienced if the boys were to be with him on Christmas day and then returned that night .. even though he said that he wanted better sleeping arrangements for them (Here he is putting his girlfriend's kids FIRST and is inconvenienced by having HIS KIDS)... I did not sweat it.. In fact I called him back after I posted here and told him to pick a night either Christmas eve or CHristmas night which ever is more convenient for him.. So he did say that he will take them Christmas day and keep them overnight.. THis is all because he has been living a lie and told the town that we live in that his girlfriend's kids live with his mother in town because he was going to get kicked out because he lives in a one bedroom apartment and was having four boys sleeping there.. Then he also had the nerve to tell me that I am being spiteful..

As far as PS, I am not so sure how I feel.. I let it go about how he was angry when we could not find the place for the Christmas party..

In some ways I have seen A LOT of improvement and changes in our interaction and I am hopeful that it could continue that way. That is why I was so disappointed when things went sour the other night after having a great time with him over the weekend..

I will have to think more about the questions that you have asked because I do need to think about how I truly feel.. My therapist had asked me what is it that is attractive to me when I am with him.. are we intimate... and I did answer truthfully that we are intimate with each other.. He does kiss me, hold hands with me and cuddle when we are together.. A lot of which he does initiate.. He put his arms around me when we are walking or when we are at the movies.

Last night when we were leaving the bowling alley he gave me a kiss on the lips and then hugged me..

Cyndra-- I think that it is good that you are pausing and thinking before getting in touch with FIB by thinking first if getting in touch with him would serve a purpose.. I have to think often about that too especially when dealing with SS... I wanted to call him back last night but I know that it would only cause more of an arguement so I decided not to call.. I did not have to defend myself or justify my feelings to him..

I also have been doing that with PS.. I used to call him back and then it would only cause more of an arguement and strife between us. Now I am more aware of letting some things go... Like I know that when he called me a smart bitch he was not saying it in a meanful way.. or a demeaning way.. He was only joking although it may not appear to be that way...

I am so grateful to have such wonderful girls in my life...

I love you both..

Have a great day..

love,
NEED

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
26
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111155
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
Ntaryanka, kokyman, qvcreditsg, freyrobert332, maamazama7, bojo2112jon
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information