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Cici X2
May 14, 2001
1:02 pm
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Ladeska
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Cici....was good for my soul to read this today...."so glad". Sounds good to me!! You guys do sound like you're blending somewhat. Read Kahlil Gibran's thing on Marriage in "The Prophet". Drink from the same cup - but no the same wine. Stand like two pillars of the temple side by side, but not in each other's shadow.

So, it's good to share some things, but not all. You have to keep your own personhood going as well.

What is your disease anyways, I don't remember you ever saying? And have you ever considered juicing?

May 16, 2001
3:05 pm
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Cici
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Ladeska - yes. I feel that is too true. I think we reflect that in our choices of profession: he's a financial planner who is at times almost too analytical, I'm the touchy-feely counselor who is at times too emotional (that's the understatement of the decade, ha ha). Our wedding bands are going to be two rings wrapped around each other - I like that symbolism, that we are separate, but intertwined. I am not him, he is not me, but we can touch at certain points.

I have gastroparesis, GERD and IBS. Gastroparesis is when a virus or neuropathy from diabetes or an autoimmune disease destroys part of the vagus nerve. I had mono for a year, apparently that's how I got it. It infected the nerve and estroyed the tissue. As a result, I feel full after only a few bites of food and in the beginning I would vomit after eating solid foods continuously. I lost a lot of weight and am still hovering around 112 lbs, though the doctor would like me to be at around 117-120.

My problem isn't so much complete paralysis of the stomach muscles, but irregular muscle contractions (sometimes it will propel the food UP instead of down), thus the smooth muscle relaxers. With the IBS, it's hard because you're supposed to eat insoluble fiber and I can't tolerate those - raw veggies make me sick, literally (ha ha).

But sticking to tofu and soups, as well as resting a lot to conserve energy, has helped. I still can't eat more than about 1 1/2 meals a day - a liquid beverage like ensure or soymilk, some healthy snacks like crackers or breakfast bars, and soup or something easy to eat for dinner. I can't eat gluten or wheat often and dairy is a no-no. Cheese was a hard thing to give up. I still cheat and pay for the consequences willingly. Sometimes I'll eat pizza, knowing I will get severely ill with cramps, vomitting and esophageal spasms, because I just want to CHEW SOMETHING. ha ha ha

May 16, 2001
4:57 pm
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Ladeska
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Cici....so what about juicing?? Sounds perfect for you.

May 16, 2001
7:17 pm
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Molly
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Cici, I think Pizza makes everyone sick when they haven't had it in a while. I had some for the first time this year saturday, went into what I call a food coma right after, damn it tasted good, but the after effects, the cramping etc, to much fat, to much cheese, but oh so good.

May 17, 2001
11:58 am
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Cici
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I know. We have Mellow Mushroom pizza place in town that has the best tempeh hoagies and tofu pizzas. I had a tempeh calzone with sundried tomatoes and feta cheese and man was it delicious, but boy did I pay for it.

What is juicing, anyways? I've been on the stupid ensure liquid diet. I found this other stuff that is soy-based that works a lot better for me. I love soy, what can I say? If I stop drinking milk and eating dairy I feel great, when I do eat dairy I feel run-down, tired and even exhausted. But it's soooooo hard to give up ice cream, cheese, chocolate milk. You know. You can know perfectly well what will make you healthier, but instead you get the pizza hut pizza with breadsticks and ranch dipping sauce. Yum. Ha ha - that's why I need to have my own organic farm, so I'll be forced to stop eating so many presrevatives and unhealthy foods.

May 21, 2001
11:42 am
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Ladeska
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Cici - juicing is just buying a juicer and juicing veggies and fruit, that's it. Sooooo nutritional because it's LIVE food. It goes right into your system and does it's thing - immediately. And there are many recipes for what you need. You can drink just one recipe during the day and do wonders for yourself. The juicers are expensive, but shop around. The health food stores usually have a line on a good one. The Juice Man on T.V. has a good one and has tapes and books to go with the purchase telling you what recipes are for what. Very nutritional and just seems perfect for you. Check it out.

May 21, 2001
11:53 am
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Molly
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Juicing is good, but I found it to be messy, and time consuming. Not like the sinful Ranch dressing which goes right into the blood stream too, like a giant clog. Soul sister of sin, Cici.... It is amazing to me, when we do eat right we do feel well, but the body remembers. The nose picks up the scent, the gastric juices flow, and before we know it, duh relapse, then we pay. I do well on my own, its my partner who is the enabeler. he brings the sinful fruits to our table, and I am only human. do you really think the organic farm is the answer, I know everyone delivers, and the push of the send button or the phone sinful delights arrive. I have heard of something called willpower, but haven't found it in the market yet. Have a great day you two.

May 21, 2001
12:48 pm
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Cici
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ha ha ha. I wish I could buy it on the shelf at the supermarket "WILLPOWER -a refreshing zing of self-assurance that will make your whole body tingle!"

My fiancee's dad has a juicer. He refuses to eat vegetables, ever, regardless of how they are prepared or what type. His doctor keeps yelling at him about this mysterious thing called a "nutritionally balanced diet" - hmm. how bizarre, living off of starch and meat is bad for you?!?! ha ha.

Anyways, he forced me to choke down some of his carrot-apple juice. Yuck. I looked at him and said, you'll drink this but you won't eat vegetables? THAT makes sense.

But then again who knows what kind of juicer he bought. It looked ancient to me.

After about 6 months I finally got my SO to eat vegetables. He had always refused to on the grounds that his Dad didn't eat any and he was fine (although I think the jury is still out on that one).

May 22, 2001
11:06 am
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Ladeska
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Okay Cici....yes, I'm sure what you drank tasted bad.....BUT....it doesn't have to be that way... What you do is mix all the good stuff up with fruit to make it taste better. I would mix up beets, carrots, celery with apples and a strawberry or banana and it was awesome! No hint of any of the taste of veggies that I didn't like. Even if all you do is one drink a day like this - it's better than nothing. Please think about it....(smile) Would be sooo good for you.

May 22, 2001
3:27 pm
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Molly
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Talk about a sugar rush, I have wanted to mix beets but I make such a mess, do you use them raw? They stain everything. I love even the market brands of juices, with carrot in it, takes the acid out of the orange juice for me, and your combo, must make you loose water, isn't that a detox blend??? do, you put soy, or protien in yours?

May 22, 2001
11:01 pm
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Ladeska
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Yes, I use the raw beets, just put down a towel that you use all the time. let it get soiled and just make it the "juice towel"! Yes, it makes you lose water and detox. It's also good for your immune system. I don't put any protein in it. You could though. I just eat a ton of tuna and chicken for my protein. I eat lots of tuna!

May 23, 2001
11:41 am
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Cici
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I love fish. I will think about that, though. My fiancee always tries to force protein shakes into me, but lately I've been eating well - I made tofu curry with carrots and chickpeas in it the other day - yummmm.

BTW, I think my mind is going. I forgot 3 appointments yesterday. I went to a 2 hour photographer meeting and then went out to lunch with my sister and I just didn't remember to go to 2 research meetings and a caterer meeting, which I rescheduled for Friday. There's so much BS involved with planning a wedding. URGH!!!!!!

May 23, 2001
11:47 am
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Ladeska
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When is your wedding, btw? I wanna come!!!

May 23, 2001
11:55 am
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Molly
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I used to eat lots of canned tuna, then started with indigestion? Switched to chicken. Then I started reading about all the crap they feed the chickens, and the last wholistic seminar I went to said both were a no,no. I love the red ahi tuna, slightly seared, but its costly. But ummm.

May 24, 2001
11:45 am
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Cici
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I love to grill fish in a foil packet, with whole slices of lemon, gobs of butter or olive oil and fresh dill just smooshed into the fish. I saw a cooking show where they slit the whole fish down the middle and packed it with herbs - YUM!

My wedding is June 8.....ACK! I feel good. I'm getting a facial and a manicure next week, goddamn it. ha ha ha. I spent 3 hours at the salon yesterday figuring out what to do with my hair. I'm so weird. I also had to get my highlights re-done. How girly. ha ha ha.

Now if I can just stop biting my friggin' nails!!!

May 24, 2001
11:57 am
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Molly
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Get the fake nails put on, even if just for a couple of weeks, get the french tip, you wont bite them. And dahlinggggg you simply must get a pedicure, foot massage, is such a good replacement for sex. My sexual fantasy, ok more info than you need, is some one rubbing my feet, and shampooing my head, I think if it ever happened,that I could stand the extacy.
My hair is real dark, on the edge of black, I was thinking about highlights, going to a new place tommorow.

May 24, 2001
2:04 pm
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Ladeska
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You girls are too much! Getting all fluffy are we? Well why the hell not, we friggin deserve it! I'm the Queen of Everything, just ask me! (snort!) Ain't it fun though - to really allow ourselves to be fru-fru now and then? When for so many years - we wouldn't allow ourselves the pleasure of that.... We are so very feminine and dang proud of it! Fluff, priss, flaunt, tease, and leave an imprint on the universe as you stroll by in all your splendor!!! I will be thinking of you Cici, on your very special day..(Hugs!) I am probably going to be an Aunt for the first time - around that date! I'm already a Godmother, that happened Christmas. They call me "Aunt Tizzie". The name fits, too. Scary, ain't it?

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